


Stairs of Dust

by Julibun



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ableism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Physical Disability
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-01-29 20:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 55,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julibun/pseuds/Julibun
Summary: Chanyeol always feels like he's flying. Hovering above everyone else on every aspect of being.Living a life where he is in control. Choosing what to do and when to do it. He can't even imagine anything else.What would he do when he finds himself dealing with the exact opposite?-Yup, another uni au but with an interesting twist.-Yup, it contains mostly the beagle line because I'm SO unpredictable.Let me know what you think! ♡





	1. Chapter 1

  
  


  
Flying. He is actually flying.

Looking to his right he sees the beginning of a sunrise, to his left he sees the little bit of moon left from the night before. Looking down at himself however, reveals an interesting detail.

Chanyeol is now a bird. Of some kind. Apparently. And he is flying so high up in the air above the earth that even though there are no clouds in the sky he still feels the freezing temperature of the ozone layer creeping up and crawling over his skin.

Or feathers. Yeah, feathers.

Freedom feels so nice. The ability to choose exactly where one wants to go and how one wants to get there. The incredible bodily function of movement within the living organisms on earth.

In real life he might not be able to fly, but with his towering body and almost unrealistically long legs, he often gives the illusion of floating above everyone else.

In real life he might not be a bird, either.

Chanyeol loves the earth and the sky and everything in between. Most likely because he just fills up so much of that 'in between'. There are so many advantages to being... Well... Him.

Every step he takes could be counted as four for others. Everywhere he goes he automatically recieves quite a great amount of attention, and of course he's given space. The path clears for him because people seem to not enjoy standing in a tall man's way.

What is it about being so mobile and large that gives him this much power over other humans? It's not fair. But who is he to complain when standing on the podium of the winning team?

"...--yeol."

Nah, he isn't Chanyeol now. He is just a bird flying above the earth, drifting further and further away until the entire globe can fit into his vision with all the stars all around him. Stars he could reach if only he flapped his wings and--

"Chanyeol. Chanyeol--!"

Never mind. The earth is now too small to see and he's lost in the middle of the galaxy's nothingness, even moving his wings is pointless.

"Oh my god wake up already. Chanyeol!"

He is no longer a bird. There's no universe surrounding him anymore. Bird or not, he hates being woken up by Baekhyun's whiny voice. Not that it happens often, luckily. Only recently because Chanyeol just can't seem to get a grip of himself.

Maybe if he shuts his eyes tighter he will be able to pretend he didn't hear nor feel Baekhyun's annoying attempts at waking him up. What does he even want?

Chanyeol is too tired to bother being awake right now. After a whole night of non stop grinding for materials in one of the games he plays on his laptop in the dorm instead of studying, there's no point in even trying to act friendly.

His roommate will vouch for him if evidence is needed to be admitted to the person trying to pull his birdy self out of spacey dreamland.

"...Mmmgh, you're so noisy..."

A hoarse murmur rolled unattractively out of his throat while he regained control over his palms and raised them to his face. He rubbed his eyes with a childish yet grainy grunt and for the first time in about two hours, pulled his head up from the lecture table he rested on.

After an unneeded massage to his eyes that only made him see colors and shapes under the eyelids like a kaleidoscope for several seconds even while blinking them open, he is finally awake.

Unhappily awake, but what can he do.

In front of him stood Baekhyun, arms crossed, pout decorating his face like lemon would a puppy's, and other than the sound of his sole tapping on the tiled floor of the classroom, it's silent.

Wait, why is it so quiet? Wasn't he in a lecture only several moments ago? Was it before or after he was flapping his wings above the stratosphere?

 

  
"What?"

There wasn't even a hint of nice in the sharpness of the question that shot out of his mouth directly in his friend and classmate's direction. The latter seemed unfazed. With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, Baekhyun slammed a bunch of papers down on the table.

The sound echoed all through the large empty classroom except for the two of them, and there was a certain degree of a mourn Chanyeol felt when his much loved wooden pillow got covered by something he doesn't enjoy seeing.

"Papers."

Chanyeol stated matter-of-factly.

"Yes, papers. Wow. And I thought I was the one who's having a hard time actually caring about reality."

Baekhyun rolled his eyes with a hint of sass.

"Don't come at me, at least I got the shit I needed for the next level. I'm gonna die for real."

Baekhyun sighed lengthily, his foot stopped beating against the floor and now only the sound of Chanyeol rumbling through the papers that were placed right under his nose can be heard. He already has all of these, why would he need more?

"Got them. Thanks."

He grabbed the pile in his hands and planned on shoving them towards Baekhyun's direction. No reason to waste more paper on earth just for the sake of throwing it away after. If his friend brought it, he can take it back to wherever it belongs.

But once his arms finally extended towards Baekhyun, he didn't wait much to push them right back and make sure the papers remain within Chanyeol's close reach right against his chest.

Questioning, Chanyeol furrowed his brows and tilted his head upwards at his friend. One of the very rare occasions where Chanyeol is not bigger than the world. Him sitting.

"I need a favour."

One of the two furrowed eyebrows rose up suspiciously, spiking a doubtful look at his oddly serious sounding classmate's voice and expression.

"You know there's that one student that can't ever get here to class?"

"Mmyeah. The one only you and the teacher know."

His friend nodded and allowed himself to sit down on top of the table located in front of Chanyeol's seat in the lecture hall, crossing one leg over the other and grabbing onto the outer corners of the wooden surface.

"Usually I go and give them the papers from the past... Who knows how many lessons they couldn't attend. Can't do it today though."

The explanation was simple and Chanyeol should have been able to guess something like this was coming at the moment he recognized the pile in his hands wasn't any new material to him.

But... Why. Why him of all people? This must be a punishment for falling asleep about a minute after arriving to class two hours ago when the lecture began.

Not that Chanyeol's particularly worried. He's the master of swallowing up material and then throwing it all out on exams when the times are due. Delaying tasks for the last moment is bad and blah blah blah. He knows.

It's the only way he learned how to study as a child because of his rather disliked field of interests. A very wide field that lies inside a very small machine that's waiting for him in his dorm room.

"Will you bring the papers to them? I'll write down the address for you, it's like a twenty minutes walk from here, then twenty back."

"Why can't you do it yourself today?"

Chanyeol's already debating what's worth more; The undeniable temptation itching up within him to sprint back to his room and continue what he does best? Or the academic future of a classmate he has never even met in his life?

Hey, maybe it would be worth it in the very slim chance of the student possibly being... Like... A hot grill or a cute boi or something. Chanyeol's nerdy hormones, no matter how socially popular he may be in university, don't come to fulfillment too often.

To put is simply, he won't miss such a golden chance to get laid.

He was given many chancea to achieve that before, and took whatever he could get. Lately though, he kind of prevented himself from getting it because late night supply hunts are more important than his dry sexual drive when summer is approaching.

Maybe now will be it.

"Gonna get checked at the doctor's. You remember that rash I told you about--"

"Okay, ew. Whatever, do that."

Baekhyun's eyes widened in front of Chanyeol's probably unexpected reaction.

"Wow, am I that good at convincing people or are you actually being kind?"

He asked, a small smile of a pleasant surprise already across his lips from being relieved of the burden. Was it even a burden for Baekhyun to do? If the missing student is what he thinks they are, Chanyeol's going to have a blast.

"Kind? Me? Have you lost your mind Baekhyun?"

The other snickered with an obvious sense of agreement and even slight enthusiasm towards the subject. So what if they sometimes play together and Chanyeol ends up stealing all the loot and never sharing?

So what if one time Baekhyun was only a few in-game money stacks short from purchasing the item of his dreams but Chanyeol wouldn't give it to him unless he'd be getting something in return? That something being free pizza the next day.

Maybe it's better not to reveal Chanyeol's underlying motive within the acceptance of the new mission. Especially since now is only around two in the afternoon, so if he hurries things up he'll get back in time to continue doing the nothing-useful that he loves doing most.

 

  
One downside to the fact that he had accepted the mission to take care of Baekhyun's own responsibility, is that he will have to actually do it. Doing it means walking twenty minutes to each direction under the hot sun.

In all honesty, Chanyeol doesn't hate being out together with the sun. There's something comforting about having the heat cover his exposed skin in a sort of vulnerability that reminds him he is still very small in this big big world.

The fact that all he is, is just a single little person whose decisions wouldn't change much in the world. He doesn't even want to change the world anyway.

It sucks. He'd much rather become the bird he often dreams of being. He might not be able fly, but he does enjoy towering above everyone else very much like from a position of floating in the air.

At least it's only the beginning of the heat. A few months ahead will be a lot worse, and he would have definitely refused if Baekhyun came to him with the same request then.

Like the opposite cycle of the weather, Chanyeol remains inside a lot more, holed up in his room at the dorm during the summer to spend every breathe of his waking moments taking advantage of all the in-game summer events.

While in the winter and any other season really he's pretty much cool with being outside. As long as it isn't for too long, because he must at least get the daily login bonuses. Obviously.

It's fine today. Because Baekhyun is lucky that Chanyeol woke up with a little more drive this morning than usual. Because Chanyeol woke up a second time still pretty much eager for relief, and consuming a bit of fresh air could do no harm, especially if he plans to work out later on today.

"Thanks bro. Saved me some stress, just don't get lost on your way."

Baekhyun just had to push in the tease together with his gratefulness in the same sentence. He will never let Chanyeol actually win. Not in game and not in real life either it seems.

Doesn't matter, Chanyeol got his thanks and that's good enough. He would appreciate a bit more pay back for his favour, but this time he'll let it slide since it might result with his own benefit.

"Yeah, yeah. What am I dealing with exactly though?"

Chanyeol finally began activating his bodily muscles in order to move. Shoving himself along with the uncomfortably short lecture chair away from the table and easily getting up on his feet with a stretch. And a groan.

He might be an asshole nerd that plays games whever he can, but he is also run by pride. Pride and self admiration.

Populaity in university is just a side effect of the effort he puts into making sure he remains as dreamy as he portrays himself to be. Like, really. Being Tall, handsome, having a deep voice, a blinding smile and a well built figure? Boom.

Rotting away in his dorm room on the computer is his default state, and he basically hates exercising, but he knows it's necessary. Plus being physically active gives him a legitimate excuse as to why he doesn't watch what comes in his mouth.

A higher precentage of success in wooing whoever he feels like also comes with the hard work he puts into keeping in good shape. No time for such activities though, unless the mysterious absent student is really a catch.

"Oh I'm sure you won't be disappointed-- Shit. I gotta go. Good luck man, don't feel obliged to be... well... yourself. Just drop the papers and go if you want, they already know it wouldn't be me today. See you tomorrow!"

Baekhyun's phone began beeping in the middle of his sentence, leaving Chanyeol intrigued yet wary, because he didn't recieve an actual answer.

In hurried steps his classmate made it to the door, waving goodbye briefly while his attention was directed towards the device his fingers began tapping onto vigorously.

Whatever. He'll do it, he might as well.

"Hope you won't find out you're going to die soon, you owe me like three bucks or something."

Chanyeol made sure to spew out at his distracted friend, but even while being elsewhere with his mind Baekhyun wouldn't skip a chance to bicker with Chanyeol with their back and forth outsmarting comments.

"Fuck you, your shitty bucks are mine and I'll outlive you. You'll never get them back!"

He shouted half way from behind the slowly shutting door while stepping outside and winking at Chanyeol from the little gap left between the wood and the doorframe itself.

Fair enough. From the depth of Chanyeol's heart he really wishes for Baekhyun to always be happy and well. They've been friends ever since the very beginning of university, and simply grew on one another.

They share a lot of interests together so their clicking process was pretty short. As popular as Chanyeol might be around the rest of the students, Baekhyun really is on another level.

A rumour went around about a month ago that Baekhyun sold his phone number to a really rich girl from a different university, who saw pictures of him from some of her friends and wanted to get connected. Boy's a pro at handling himself.

 

  
That is how Chanyeol got here.

Almost exactly twenty minutes of walk from the university's gate just like Baekhyun had explained. Even the tip he threw at Chanyeol before leaving actually came from the heart.

Because this neighbourhood really is pretty difficult to navigate through. He can only assume that there were times at least at the beginning of this paper-fetching process when Baekhyun got lost on the way.

Not him though. Chanyeol got there without too much struggle. He might or might have not used google street view to know exactly where he's located and where to head next in order to reach his destination, but who cares? He did it.

Now he's here. Standing in front of a three storey building that looks like it's been built at least seventy years ago if not more. Grey and yellow and falling apart at every edge visible on the outside. This whole area gives off the exact same old and rundown vibe pretty much.

Houses that have been left to age untouched. Gardens around them unattended other than the side that faces the street itself that is being taken care of by the city's workers most likely.

His given address though, doesn't have a garden. It doesn't even have a main entrance door. Right from the pavement there is a path of cement stairs looking like they've been carved from inside the building itself.

Looking slightly upwards Chanyeol found at the end of the first stairs section stand two apartments' doors next to each other. Raising his eyes higher he noticed another pair of doors at the very end of the second staircase segment.

In all honesty, it looks like shit. Chanyeol didn't know what to expect at all, but seeing such a tired looking house had already brought the general score of the experience lower.

Following the little bit of instructions left for him by Baekhyun in a text message he sent from his way to the clinic, Chanyeol knew that the student he'll be delivering the papers to resides in one of the apartments on the third floor.

So primitive it feels to climb up a staircase while being out in the open like this. Everything exposed to the rest of the street even though it's vacant. The illusion he had of someone incredible surprising him seems less likely with every step he takes up the dusty stairs.

Wow, he's so shallow and gross for judging so hard even before seeing whoever this student might be that he'll be helping today. But really, this is kind of sad. Even the shitty university dorms are in a better condition.

The sun is standing in the middle of the sky to sign half the light time for today had passed. There are a few small clouds floating around, but not enough to block the intensity of the rays.

From the way Chanyeol is now standing in front of the very last door the stairs lead to, he feels like he's going to be blinded. Everything about this place is awful, even the sun in the sky is menacing.

Was it worth it at all? So far it feels like a definite 'No'.

According to Baekhyun's message, this should be the place. Right beyond the... 'Do' household's door, apparently. Not that he has any intention of getting in. Well, maybe. Only if the student he'll encounter would be truly irresistible.

Sighing out pretty loudly actually helped him lose some of the tension that was held in his chest, whether if from climbing all the steps, or from the fact that he has a sense of worry yet anticipation towards the revalation.

Whatever will be there, that person is his classmate, so even if he won't feel like smashing, but passing, he should still be at least a little friendly to give a good impression. Not as friendly as Baekhyun though. That'd be fake and probably unachievable for him.

He knocked on the door a couple times and waited patiently. The bulk of papers already in his hands so he will be able to deliver it as quickly as possible in case he won't be pleased with what he sees.

Wow, he really is an asshole. His whole thinking process is wrong, he's doing something good for a classmate who'll be thankful to him. Why does he even care about smashing or passing? Whatever. If caring about anything, it might as well be this.

Noises came from the other side of the door, and Chanyeol felt that pre-meeting anxiety. Flashback to middle school days where part of their curriculum as stupid little kids was to pass door to door in rich neighbourhoods asking for charity.

Except now he's an adult who wouldn't say no to some charity for himself, and he's in no way surrounded by any richness from any direction where he stands.

The door opened.

 

  
\--

 

  
"What the fuck Baekhyun?!"

Chanyeol shouted into the phone, huffing from the effort he puts into walking away as fast as he can from what he just experienced in front of the 'Do's house.

"Wow, dude what happened?"

Without realizing it, Chanyeol had already made it back to the university's gates. He walked at such speed and in such large steps. A path that took him twenty minutes to walk before was now over in less than seven.

"You could have at least warned me about it?!"

"Warned you? What are you talking about?"

Chanyeol's left hand is holding the phone to his ear, while his right arm is shoving open whichever door he needs to pass in order to get back to the dorms. Startling a few unsuspecting students with the storm that is himself almost sprinting by.

"About--- You know-- THEM. Maybe?!"

Good thing there are no classes at this hour, because he'd most likely be getting a detention ticket for being so loud in the halls. Both with his intimidating stomps on the floor, and his loud deep and serious angry voice.

"Are you kidding me Chanyeol? I'm not going to have this kind of conversation with you. I'm going to give you until tomorrow and if you aren't calm I'll have to reconsider our entire friendship status."

"Hah, you freak, what a hypocrite. Thinking you're so much better than me for being so 'accepting' all the time. You're full of shi---"

He can feel it bubbling within him, the need to just shove everything out of his way and possibly slam something or even someone against some wall. He's not used to being this angry, not even when playing games.

Unless he counts that one time he literally threw his expensive gaming mouse down and smashed it on the floor. But that was about four whole years ago and he's come a long way since then. Or has he?

"I'm not dealing with this you asshole. What the hell is wrong with you?! I'm hanging up. Oh, before I do. I'll be gone next week on the same day as well so sucks for you but you'll have to deliver again."

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Fuck.

How dare Baekhyun hang up on him like this. His blood is on fire right now.

With a loud bang Chanyeol slammed his dorm room's door open against the wall carelessly. He stepped inside and slammed it behind him again. Quickly after a few taps of feet on the floor were heard approaching him.

"Chanyeol? What happened?"

Jongdae's head popped out sideways from behind the small hallway's wall. Seems like he's watching television or something in the living room because he can hear the awful quality speakers of the television rumbling.

"Nothing, Baekhyun's being a prick again."

He spat back coldly and proceeded by slaming his own bedroom's door open, throwing his bag on the floor with a thud, and then his phone onto the mattress before leaving the room and stomping towards the kitchen.

As he passed by Jongdae, his lovely and extremely considerate roommate that luckily spends most hours of the night awake himself, his eyes followed after him.

"He just gave me these stupid papers to hand out to a student who isn't in class."

Chanyeol began explaining, the anger is very much present, but now it's targeted inwards instead of out at his surroundings. As angry as he is, Jongdae doesn't deserve to be a victim. Baekhyun doesn't either but he's too late for that.

"So like sure, I know I was being SUPER duper kind, and I agreed to do it for him because of the doctor's appointment."

"Mhmm."

Jongdae hums in return now, resting against the kitchen counter. He watches how Chanyeol pulls an energy drink out of the fridge and nearly cracks the entire can with the force.

"Then I got there and it was shit. I thought I'll be able to get laid or something but I got that... I-don't-even-know person."

Wait. Wait a minute. What is he so angry really?

He came there to fulfill Baekhyun's task, not anything else. He came there with no expectations, only with curiousity and maybe a bit of subtle anticipation just from the thrill of it all.

"You're such an ass."

Jongdae replied nonchalantly but honestly. Chanyeol can't deny. He's an ass. And now he's stuck in the same task again for next week. Who does Baekhyun think he is? Chanyeol would have never agreed to this stupid mission if he knew who was waiting behind that door.

Actually... Did he even pay any attention to who was behind the door? It almost felt like the door opened on its own. Which wouldn't make sense because he heard noises coming from inside before it did.

All he remembers is something short. Because at the moment the door opened and his eyes caught the view, all he could do was shove the papers at the miserable person and run off without a word.

Chanyeol is an asshole.

He knows exactly what sort of person was behind that door. He's just a disgusting piece of shit that has no respect and no compassion for anybody. Not even his very own good friend that tasked him to the stupid delivery.

 

  
Poor kid. He couldn't even see his face. Chanyeol was so surprised to discover what he did that his instinct just told him to activate the 'Drop & hop' biological mechanism of the body to protect one's self from too much of a surprise.

Chanyeol is an asshole, but he isn't stupid. At least he kind of has an excuse for why he was being one. Maybe.

The fire in his blood has long been replaced with sugar and caffeine from the energy drink and he nearly forgot why he was angry at all to begin with.

He knows the general reason of why he gets angry though. His unhealthy habits. Which include literally everything about his life as a whole currently. Except for working out maybe, but he trashes that too by eating and drinking garbage like the drink he currently has in his hand.

Wordlessly, Chanyeol stood up from the couch he had already plopped himself down onto before. He spent a few minute staring blankly at the television screen.

But now even his cold selfish heart is seeking some sort of redemption. So he called the second victim of today's mess.

"Hey Baekhyun."

Standing against the wall with his shoulder, Chanyeol stared at Jongdae who's still sitting and watching whatever show is being broadcasted on the screen.

"What do you want, asshole?"

"I admit my mistakes this time. I just... I didn't know how to take it."

It was quiet for a while, and then he could hear his friend sigh from the other side of the line.

"Maybe chill, first. I don't understand why you got so angry? Like what the hell. Poor kid must have been scarred for life. Don't--- you dare say any jokes about that."

Chanyeol wasn't planning to. He was an asshole and he feels bad about it. Now it's his time to sigh, and he turns so that his entire back rests against the cold wall of his and Jongdae's dorm room.

Whatever, it's not like he's supposed to actually care about that person. It's their problem and he's just there to deliver them what he considers even more trouble. Though in his rush down the stairs of that rundown building he did hear a 'Thank you' flow in the air from above.

"Kay. Doesn't matter now. I'll just give the papers and leave normally next time."

He settled with this. A good enough decision to satisfy all parties involved in the business. Well, not really. It's just easier for Chanyeol's childish computer mind to treat things like this as part of a game.

"You know you could offer them your help. You'll do better at whatever help they might need than me."

Baekhyun is clearly judging him and trying to hint him into actually being a good person towards someone who's a total stranger to Chanyeol? Wow, since when does Baekhyun himself care about anybody?

"Nice try. See you tomorrow."

"Yup. Hopefully you'll be awake to see me at all."

Again Baekhyun with his endless teases.

"I changed my mind I'll be spending the day with my eyes closed."

The conversation ended and Chanyeol returned to his seat by Jongdae's side on their old couch that smells like a mixture of grease and paper.

It'll be fine. It's not like he did something wrong anyway.

If anything, he did so well he has the rest of this entire day to continue his grinding to prepare for the summer events on the game he plays with Baekhyun. Mostly without him, actually, because even Baekhyun has higher morals than him about life.

Deep inside Chanyeol hoped that next week will never come, because it'd be way too bothersome and awkward to deal with that same person again. The one he barely got to see at all because of their unexpected appearance.

He shouldn't listen to Baekhyun. Chanyeol is strong, but it's for himself. Not in order to waste this strength on behalf of anybody else. Especially not a stranger who has seen him in his worst state on their very first meeting.

Chanyeol is not a bird in tonight's dream. He's a horse running through endlessly spreading fields of green. There's not a single living thing along with him on the never ending run forward and at some point he feels a little lost.

At least he's free to roam around as he pleases in the dream. No flight maybe, but his incredible speed makes him feel like he's floating in the air that brushes against his long mane.

Is he running in his dream because he ran away from what he didn't know how to handle in real life? Horses are scared of pretty much anything. So maybe.

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

  
  


  
He wished he was a bird again. So he could fly way above the limits of planet earth and just forget about anything that's ever surrounded him in his life.

But Chanyeol is not a bird. Not now and not ever in real life.

The reality of not being able to ever fly around is a little sad, but he has a damn good body that comes in handy when it comes to transportation.

Not only is he big and long legged, but he is also pretty fit. His stamina's decent on the above average side and honestly, as long as it looks good and serves him the way it should, he doesn't need much more.

Satisfied with his own option of freedom unless he's locking himself in his room in order to complete some game quests , he never really thought of a life where he was not in control.

Even if his lawyer father is a little pushy and strict with him sometimes.

He can choose on his own whether he wants to sleep, eat, go out to get some coffee, go to class, go to the toilet. He has the power of both setting a target according to his wish, and then acting upon it to achieve it.

For Chanyeol there is no other way of life.

Maybe that's why he was so surprised or even slightly scared from his upcoming visit to the 'Do' household again. At the top floor of the rundown building with outer dusty cement stairs that lead straight from the door to the street.

The mere thought of losing the authorization over his own life terrifies him. He won't be able to survive. Chanyeol is a man of fire and desire, he sees, he wants, he acts. Simple as that.

But what if one of these stages are not something he's able to do by himself?

No no. No way. He shouldn't even be thinking about it. It's too shit to imagine himself having to depend on others for anything at all. Actually, it's shit to imagine anybody depending on him, too.

He'd gladly admit it. He does all the time to Baekhyun at least. How much he hates having to do that one single easy task of delivering some papers. Maybe he's taking it too far. Maybe he's just being a child about this whole thing.

But now while taking his time on the way to the house in the middle of the poor neighbourhood only twenty minutes away from university, he just can't help but feel upset yet again about his misfortune of handling this.

Two weeks in a row now he will be making a fool out of himself in front of the student he never really spared a thought for since they clearly were never in class. From obvious reasons.

He hates this. He hates Baekhyun for being such a fake ass and doing all these good things for people he doesn't even know all the time. It's probably his friend's way to pay back to whatever greater force controls the world to try and erase his sins.

He can see the crumbling walls of the unpleasant low life view of his destination now, and rather than a thrill he feels nothing but cold anger spreading in his body.

There is no way he is going to continue doing this job after today. It's the worst, and he has already given himself enough embarrassment and bad reputation during the very short and rude last visit.

Clearly, he is fully aware of the fact that he was the literal definition of 'Stupid' from the way he acted. But he will never admit it. He doesn't have to, because it's not like he'll ever be seeing that person again.

Both in the dismissive way, and the factual way. Because this person will... Literally not be able to meet him after today. Ever. He won't be coming back, and therefore that will be the end of their very short and very awful interaction session.

There are exactly thirty seven stairs separating Chanyeol from the street and the front of the 'Do' apartment door. Thirty seven stairs he is stepping on for the third, and hopefully one before last time ever for the rest of his life.

Right. So he shouldn't apologize for he has done nothing wrong, but he shouldn't be nice either because it's tiring. And also because it's not going to matter anymore.

There is no reason for his heart to raise up in speed, so that must be the result of just climbing up the stairs to get to this spot. The cold collected subtle anger under the surface isn't going to burst this time.

He knocked twice on the door, just like last time. Because that's the amount of knocks Baekhyun had told him he should count in order to alert the student that the papers delivery boy has arrived.

It didn't take long for the door to open again, just like last time. Except this time Chanyeol's body doesn't freeze and jump in surprise before sprinting away. He can do this, even if just being exposed to this is a challenge.

He's such an asshole for having such a narrow mindset about the whole situation. Can't he spare even a little bit of compassion? No. Apparently. He just wants to get back to his dorm quickly and play some games until he'll be sleepy and stressed enough to finish up and essay that's due tomorrow.

 

  
In front of him, now in full view and not through the sudden stress and fiddle of papers being shoved at the person residing in this apartment, Chanyeol was able to give them a proper look.

A boy. A boy sitting in a worn out looking wheelchair is right there with the doorknob in his hand after pulling the door open. A small grey plaid blanket is wrapped around his lower body, hiding whatever might be in the place of his legs.

A boy who looks up at him. With black soft looking hair, that seems to have not gotten cut in months since it drabbles all over his forehead unorderly. With large thick framed glasses, larger eyes behind them, and lips.

That is an odd observation, lips. They are so pink and pretty, almost shaped like a heart. Not that it matters much, Chanyeol knows he's here for a reason much different than the one he thought of last week.

There won't be any smash or pass process going on here. Because this boy, with whatever might be hidden under the blanket is a whole entire smash. No-- No. Pass. Pass. Chanyeol needs to get a grip of himself.

How long have they been staring at each other silently like this Chanyeol isn't sure. But once the big eyes and big lips finally settled in his mind as appearance facts about the seated boy in front of him, he finally sent out his hands.

The total smash guy with glasses took the papers, this time they were not blown and shoved anywhere around between them like last time. He gave them a small glance and counted them before turning his gaze back up at Chanyeol.

"Thank you."

It's the same voice from last week. Well, duh. It's the same person too. The mysterious absent student. The resident of the 'Do' household.

Without saying a word Chanyeol shrugged, already erasing all memories of this encounter and the previous one from his mind before turning to the stairs and going down. He heard the door close behind him shortly after.

Good job. Well done Chanyeol. You're finished with this nightmare. The student got his papers and you're free from the burden. He'll forget you, and you are already forgetting him.  
Chanyeol encouraged himself in his own mind on the way out of the neighbourhood he won't be visiting again.

Wow, he now feels even a little bit good about himself. Well, more likely because he's finally able to stop worrying and just focus on his game at the moment he gets back to the dorm.

Jongdae is not supposed to be around either, so that means he'll be able to be as loud as he wishes even before sundown. Their sleeping hours are a mess, no judgement there. It's a blessing their hours somehow match perfectly so neither will bother the other.

So Chanyeol got back, dropped his bag, and started his favourite thing in the world, which is playing until he forgets all about it. About the world and about the job he had finally finished that for some reason caused him a lot more discomfort that he had imagined.

 

  
\--

 

  
"So. Like, it's not a rash. It's kind of much worse than that."

Baekhyun explained, half distracted by his attempts to shove a plastic straw into the little bag of grape flavoured juice he had got with him. Isn't that juice meant for little children...? Not that Chanyeol cares.

"Oh. That sucks. You okay though?"

"Yeah, yeah. There's just one thing..."

His concentration levels have increased, and now instead of trying to do it blindly, he decided to focus on sliding it into the drink with the careful approach. Who knew university students can still struggle with such things.

Seems like his efforts paid off though, because the straw finally got in and with a victorious expression Baekhyun was finally able to drink the poisonous juice. Chanyeol is not one to judge, he drinks many more unhealthy drinks normally.

"Taking care of it would be taking a long time. So I'll be missing a day of class every week."

"Pfft. You don't look very sad about that."

Chanyeol snickered at his classmate. The both of them are sitting at one of the outdoors wooden picnic tables located right outside the library doors, because they're waiting for Jongdae to finish his private tutoring lesson taking place there.

"True, I'm not sad because it'll be solved eventually. But there's another thing."

Now Baekhyun's expression shifts from satisfaction into a combination of worry and suspicion, and his eyes avert directly towards Chanyeol, who's half fiddling with his phone at the moment.

"Your favour's not over yet."

"What?"

"Yeah. The day I'll be missing each week is the day I usually go bring the papers to... You know."

Chanyeol's speeding fingers over his own mobile's screen have frozen in place, the message of 'Game Over' popped up with a small defeated and even slightly humiliating tune, and his eyes grew wide.

This means nothing is over. It means he will have to continue going to that person's house every week and bring him stupid papers for who knows how long it would take Baekhyun to heal up.

This means he will have to continue suffering on a weekly basis just because he agreed to be nice ONCE. Just because he was sure he'll be getting something for his own benefit out of the deal.

Like if the person living in that house was a normal fucking person and not a crippled poor fool.

Okay. No. Even for Chanyeol thinking such things is just wrong. He's mean, but not evil inherently.

"Dude.. Don't do this to me.."

He finally responded with a hoarse airy voice, raising his eyes to his friend, that is already looking away and sipping on the juice bag through the straw.

"Sorry. No offense but it's for my health so you could at least be a human and not give me shit for it."

"Fuck..."

Chanyeol allowed the front of his body to fall down onto the wooden surface of the picnic table with a thud that made a few other students in their surrounding turn their head and make sure he didn't die.

He will have to face this boy every single week now? For real? After finally feeling the relief of finishing what he had done until now? The world is out to get him. Or in this case.. Baekhyun, probably.

"For the record, I really. REALLY. Hate this Baekhyun. I should have never agreed in the first place."

"Oh wow, Mr. I got the golden rank in three days. Didn't think forty minutes once a week would be such a burden to spare for my health."

Well, he's got a point. Chanyeol is a selfish asshole who is damn good at what he loves doing, which includes mostly playing games and ranking beyond expectations almost instantly. But he is a selfish asshole that still values his friends.

Technically the reason the two of them are out here at all is because his friendship with Baekhyun and Jongdae is important enough for him to stay away from the games already.

"You'll be fine. Stop being such a fucking asshole. He deserves to get the study material just like we do. He just can't."

Baekhyun added again, smacking the back of Chanyeol's neck and causing him to jump lightly and groan with displeasure. So annoying. He allowed himself to celebrate too early and now he'll be stuck in the same routine again.

Just like in the games, he needed to make sure the target was dead before turning around, because this time he clearly missed the kill shot. Even if it wasn't exactly his choice.

A message popped up on the screen of his phone. Grabbing his attention away from the self pity he began drowning in. He hates these messages. He hates the person who sends them.

With a heavier sigh than the sigh concerning his own freedom, he tapped an answer onto the device, noticing Baekhyun's wondering eyes in his direction, he just shook his head lightly. Baekhyun doesn't need to get involved.

Quickly after receiving an answer for his own reply, Chanyeol returned right back to the state of a selfish mourn.

 

  
Devastated by his crushing future for the upcoming weeks, Chanyeol remained sprawled on top of the wooden table, looking miserable and tired even when he saw Jongdae approach them from the corner of his eyes.

Jongdae is seriously an angel. Chanyeol sees him coming closer and closer to their table from his odd angle of lying his head down, and before blinking there's his favourite snack bar being dropped on the table right in front of his face.

"Jongdaeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"What's up with him this time?"

Jongdae ignored his whine and walked around his body, sitting himself down in front of Baekhyun instead.

"He's apparently dying because he will have to continue bringing the papers to our classmate."

"Ah. Chanyeol you're an asshole."

Jongdae confirmed without a second thought, glancing down at Chanyeol who's trying to catch the corner of the bar's wrapper with his lips instead of using his hands to make the task a hundred times easier.

Well, using his hands would mean moving up from the table and it has now become his home. He's fine like this, no more moving, no more dealing with the dread of taking care of a paraplegic student he never even knew.

"Anyway, how'd the doctor go?"

His roommate changed the flow of the conversation easily, directing it to Baekhyun and actually asking questions that show interest in the well being of his friend.

Unlike Chanyeol who just like always, managed to turn himself into the center of the conversation because he's too dense to care enough about how other people might be feeling. Or doing, or anything, really.

At least he managed to tear the wrapper of the snack open and was able to nibble on it while listening to the answers. He does care... At least a little. He cares for his friends.

Just right now he cares more about his own destiny. Chanyeol doesn't even understand why it bothers him this much. It's just a person he brings papers to. Why does it matter to him so much that he's getting restless whenever the thought comes up?

Just because he is almost the exact opposite of Chanyeol's personality and whole being doesn't mean he's in any way worth less than him... Right? Chanyeol wants to trust himself to believe that.

But there is a part deep inside him that is still convinced that he's wasting his time, and that a person like the Do resident isn't worth any of the effort both Baekhyun and him put in order to help.

This is literally the worst thing to think ever, and he knows it. Maybe there is a little bit of inherent evil in him. Or it could just be his overflowing sense of self that generally reduces the value of anybody who isn't him.

 

  
\--

 

  
This time Chanyeol only needed to look at the map once in order to get to the house. It made him feel disgusting and bad for getting even remotely familiar around such a low neighbourhood.

Combining the whole street's money together probably would be a total worth less than Chanyeol's own saved money for his opening in life once he's finished with university.

He's so shallow and having such ugly thoughts right now. Seriously it's pretty upsetting even for himself to be thinking so badly about other people. He doesn't exactly care at all about any of them, but it wouldn't harm to develop some internal mannerism.

Thirty seven steps up in the air he stood, feeling the dust from the climb stick to the bottom of his jeans. He hates this. It's stupid. And now he's stuck in this loop for a number of times he can only guess.

With a heavy sigh he knocked twice on the door.

A distant rumble of movement came from inside, and this time was the fastest the door had ever opened before him. It was a little surprising just how quick it happened.

The boy's expression looked more lively than ever too, his hair still uncfomortably uncut, but his eyes were shining and he even had a bit of a smile plastered on his fascinating lips.

It didn't last long though, because at the moment he had to raise his head up higher and higher to be met with Chanyeol's own, the smile faded and the shine in his eyes died along with it into the subtle awkwardness that was on his face the last time too.

"It's you again? I mean--- I mean, where is Baekhyun?"

He asked. So soft spoken and gentle. It seems that unlike Chanyeol's, and even his two best friends' loud and hyper personalities, this guy is more on the quiet side. But he does know Baekhyun's name.

For just how long has Baekhyun been coming over with papers for him to know him on a personal level?

"The doctor's or some shit."

It seems the seated Do resident was a little surprised from hearing Chanyeol's voice for the first time. Well, Chanyeol's voice is deep and low, but it isn't too shocking for such a big tone to come out of such a big body.

Or maybe he was surprised from Chanyeol's unfiltered language. He looks so much younger than Chanyeol himself. Or maybe it's just because he's... Well, so short while sitting on the wheelchair.

Without much of a hustle Chanyeol handed the papers to him, watching the confusion on his face turn into something a little more sincere.

"O-Ohh... Uhm. Thank you. I'm sorry. Please tell Baekhyun that I hope he's feeling well."

His considerably small hands tugged to the pile of papers as he averted his eyes sideways and away from Chanyeol's possible judgemental glare. What is he even apologizing for? Whatever.

"Mmh."

Chanyeol hummed in return. He'll probably forget to tell Baekhyun anything at all. But it doesn't even matter. Because this person doesn't matter. He has nothing to do with their lives.

He's just a useless stay-home student who can't even get to school at all. Must be a pain, but Chanyeol simply doesn't care. He turned around after the dismissive agreement and in less than a minute was already down the street on his way back.

It's the easiest thing in the world to do what he wants. Chanyeol will continue living under his desires and terms. He doesn't need to get involved with a person that can't even stand on their own.

 

  
Back at his room it took about exactly two minutes to forget he even visited the 'special' student at all. Let alone forget his request about sending Baekhyun his regards.

It doesn't matter. He doesn't care. Nobody really cares. Even Baekhyun himself started doing this just because the teacher offered him this task for the extra points he's missing in order to get in the higher grading ratio.

That guy is just a burden and therefore it's better for Chanyeol to forget about the whole emotional turmoil he's been through when he first came and realized what he's dealing with.

The concept of being caged in one place and unable to move is so foreign, scary and appalling that Chanyeol almost feels like he wants to work out even harder just to prove how much better it is than being a mole.

Ah, it's stupid. He really should stop caring already. It has nothing to do with him and even if he knows it's not the boy's fault for being... Well, that. It changes nothing in the way it makes him feel towards the whole situation.

"Chanyeol, will you be done until like four?"

Jongdae's voice was heard in his room, surpassing the game's background music.

Chanyeol turned to face his roommate, spinning on his chair and taking the headphones down to his neck. That's a good opportunity to stretch a little. He didn't even realize it's nearly three in the morning. Sort of morning.

"Mmmgh, probably. Gotta sleep?"

"Yup. Thanks bud."

"Night Jongdae."

His friend winked at him, leaving the room with his fingers shaped like fake guns in his hands before the door was closed behind him.

Right. Chanyeol has better things to think about. Like the cool new mount he managed to get in the game that runs faster than any other.

Tomorrow he'll do some running on the treadmill. Running is fun with some good music.

  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

  
  


  
Okay, so Chanyeol loves the summer. He really does.

He has no problem handling the larger amounts of people crowding the streets, he has no problem dealing with the near vacancy that silences the university grounds when the season comes, either.

He does have a problem dealing with the more frequent requests he's being instructed to do, by a man he doesn't want to anger too much, but he can handle it. He has ever since he started university after all.

Even though his course specifically doesn't really get a break, in order to push in enough material before the exam that comes sooner than the rest of the studying courses, he doesn't care.

Less faces around and less noise to get annoyed with when he's immersed in his own virtual world.

Chanyeol loves the summer. The sun is the source of life, and it's always nice to feel its beams on his skin. He loves the summer because he is also very lucky. The type of lucky that has the good genes where he never burns, only tans.

And hot damn he loves it when his skin gets baked out in the natural oven of earth. Every curve of his muscles looks at least twice as impressive when there are darker shades to contour the masterpiece.

Mostly though, Chanyeol loves the summer because it means there are so many more free stuff to claim in his favourite activity. His games.

While the university grounds are lifeless since the remaining students prefer staying anywhere than under the sun, the gaming community is thriving.

He just can't get enough. Spending even more hours every single day in achieving as much as possible for his magical virtual self. He's gotten better, almost surpassing Baekhyun's constant upper hand.

Along with the shift of indoors lifestyle that comes with the summer's arrival, there is a change in the outdoors too. When Chanyeol realizes the first glands of sweat start producing with the first heat, he changes his workout regime.

Now instead of going to the gym, he runs. Sometimes he runs even twice a day. It's a good way to let out his pent up energy from lack of activities in university except the reduced number of classes to attend.

Rather than running to build up his stamina Chanyeol runs in order to let loose of his excess zest. He loves running fast and strong, running until he exhausts himself to the bone, and then half jogging half walking his way back to the dorm.

It's freedom. It's exposure to the sun's grace. It's only a temporary state of discomfort from sweat that will get washed off in the shower at the moment he returns.

Baekhyun and Jongdae attempted to join him. Once. One time was enough for them to give up on the thrill. Jongdae didn't last too long and eventually returned after only halfway through Chanyeol's routine.

Baekhyun lasted the entire run until the middle point where he usually turns back, Chanyeol will give him credit for that, because wow. One wouldn't expect him to stand such a workout bravely.

On the way back he waddled after Chanyeol's rather jumpy self. Jumpy and cheerful to hold the lead, and also because it was just too much fun to tease drained unresponsive huffing Baekhyun for half the way.

Summer could stand up to par with spring as his favourite season.

Not this year though. This year the summer has only just began, and yet there is still a certain weight looming over him.

It's all because of Baekhyun's annoying extra credit task. It's almost stupid how Chanyeol became the one doing the work while Baekhyun enjoys all of its benefits on his own.

Not that Chanyeol really needs any extra credit for his grades, he's doing extra well this year on this aspect. It often comes as a surprise for his two friends. The extreme difference between Chanyeol's way of carelessly handling his life and his unexpected academic success.

But he feels like he's being used. Does he really deserve this punishment? The weekly repeated punishment?

Baekhyun should have just changed the day in which he goes to the deliver the stupid papers and do it by himself. Chanyeol attempted convincing him to do it, but the other had always simply ignored his request or changed the subject.

Though in all honesty, it isn't that bad of a work to do. It's just a walk there, thirty seven steps up, thirty seven steps down, and a walk back with a little less weight to carry since the papers were given away.

Simple enough. He's stuck with it in the form of a favour he still regrets accepting to commit to, but who knows. Maybe Baekhyun will finally realize at some point just how much he owes Chanyeol for this service.

 

  
Specifically today, it actually came in handy that he needed to go out, because he would be able to take advantage of this task and turn it into his workout for the day.

A quick strength run to the paraplegic boy's apartment and a quick strength run back sounds like a fair amount of energy to spend. Class was even cancelled today, which left his big body restless for engagements.

With a tank top, sporty shorts, a small backpack to carry the papers and a cap pressing down on his hair, Chanyeol began his fitness plan for the next approximately thirty minutes.

Six weeks.

Chanyeol went to the Do household to deliver the lecture papers for six weeks in a row now. Almost two whole months him and the constantly absent student stuck in a wheelchair have known each other.

Well, not really. Because Chanyeol doesn't even know him. Not his name, not his age, not anything. Not much more information was reavealed about himself either.

They are strangers and Chanyeol would like to keep it that way until Baekhyun is done with whatever it is he needs to go through to catch up on his own mission, and he'll be free again.

Running under the hot sun sounded like a good idea at first. But halfway through the journey to the Do apartment, Chanyeol realized he had made a mistake. He forgot to bring a drink with him.

Not only that, but he also completely underestimated just how truly hot it is today. He still has half the path to run in order to reach his destination, but but sweat is heavily sticking to his skin.

Wet salty drops are forming on his forehead, his arms, his front and even back. The inner cloth of the backpack carrying the papers for his not very liked classmate is already drenched as well.

He can only hope that the papers inside aren't soaking wet themselves. Not only would it be gross to give to anybody, but also because it must be disgusting to touch himself.

In case they are wet there will be nothing for him to do. Chanyeol doesn't plan to be nice today. He's learned from his previous attempt to be nice, still paying up because of it. So he definitely wouldn't bring him new ones.

It doesn't matter, Chanyeol doesn't care about it, and whoever that guy is probably doesn't have a chance to succeed in life no matter which path he chooses to study. That's one hell of an evil thought right there, but he might as well think all the mean things now instead of when faced with the guy.

The temperature is rising, and with it raises Chanyeol's vague memory about that one time about five weeks ago when the home bound classmate asked him to deliver a message to Baekhyun.

He doesn't even remember what it was about, all he knows is that he told Baekhyun and recieved an answer that left his memory. Well, that's too late for it now. And even if he remembered what it was he wouldn't have said anything.

The boy didn't ask about Baekhyun's response either. Must mean nothing to him as well. Or maybe it was because all Chanyeol did each time was give him the papers and turn around to leave right after.

There's nothing more he should do so why would he bother. He gains nothing out of this except for the possibility of Baekhyun paying him back big for the favour the next time it becomes relevant.

 

  
Two knocks on the door.

Chanyeol has actually been standing on top of staircase for a few moments, huffing and puffing, slowly settling back his breathing pattern in an attempt to cool down from the dreading heat of the sun.

While allowing himself to rest a little he also checked the papers inside the drenched bag. They seem pretty much dry except for a corner of one page at the bottom that has a small colorless stain on it.

After wiping his sweat away with his own bare arms and swinging his hands around to allow the drops to fall off of his skin, he knocked. His heart still a little fast in his chest, but at least he is a little dryer.

Little noises come from inside the apartment before the door opens. It's the same sort of noise every time. He doesn't know what creates it, but it doesn't matter. All it means is that the boy's approaching the door.

Seated on the same old looking wheelchair, his lower body covered in the same plaid blanket, same pair of glasses over the big eyes that look up at him.

This time the boy's eyes were filled with something that feels like a surprise and also a little bit of wonder. Something more innocent than Chanyeol thought he'd see in his eyes.

One thing is for sure. This boy seriously needs to get a haircut. It looks terrible. His hair isn't bad, but just... A mess. It's chaos on top of his head. Long hairs falling in all different directions, over his eyes and nose.

"Hello, it's you."

His classmate said after a moment of what looked like a small shock.

"Yeah."

Chanyeol announced, both with pride and frustration, because it's always nice to be aknowledged, but it's not as nice to be there against his own free will. Technically.

Without further dwelling in the growing awkwardness Chanyeol held out the papers to the guy. Today was different for some reason. Something about the way the boy is looking at him feels slightly changed.

Waiting for him to take the papers, Chanyeol raise his free hand up, pulling the cap off of his head to release his hair and allow it to breathe for two seconds before pushing it back down. His toned muscles still shimmering a little from the sweat because of the reflection of the sunlight.

He feels good. Chanyeol loves the feeling of seeing the results of working out, even if it's a pain of a process. He loves seeing that his body can stand up to his own expectations of what he finds to be attractive.

Except, this is taking a little too long, and there's a sense of confusion washing over him as to why the boy's eyes just wouldn't be put off of him even when the papers are held out right in front of his face.

Is this boy also admiring Chanyeol's marvelously sculptured body? Well, with that Chanyeol could easily cope. Getting his ego stroked is the best sensation in the world.

Sure, while he's there his classmate is allowed to enjoy the view as much as he'd like, but Chanyeol's in a hurry because his throat is drying and he forgot his drink like a fool. So rather than stand here and give this dude a show he'd much rather run back and finish his outdoorsy adventures for the day.

To avert the boy's attention away from himself, Chanyeol shook the papers higher right in front of his line of vision, causing him to jerk a little and grab onto the stack nervously.

"Thank you."

He mumbled and looked down now, is he shy? Chanyeol's body is making him either jealous or aroused, it's so easy to tell. In all honesty, this is pretty damn adorable.

This whole smash kid is really cute if only he'd be getting a good haircut. Even with all the hair over his face Chanyeol could see that he's biting onto his own lips, unsure of where to land his eyes.

Alright, okay, this boy deserves a reward for inflating Chanyeol's confidence a little more. And he knows just what that could be.

"Baekhyun said he's doing his best. And that he's sorry that you don't get the weekly 'present' that he gives you."

Chanyeol spoke this time, not with a smile, but not with a hostile tone either. At least for today he could do his best to not be a total jerk to the apartment resident.

Plus seeing his own shiny skin reflect in the sun reminded him of Baekhyun's answer. The mysterious present being spoken about is none other than a pack of ice cream. He can't forget the answer after all.

Because Baekhyun was so enthusiastic about it. He remembers now. When he told him the boy's message Baekhyun just sparkled up like a candle and grinned. It was nice, until he began whining to Chanyeol about not being able to keep the tradition of bringing the boy ice cream with each visit.

For a couple of weeks after the message delivery Baekhyun continued pestering him, trying to convince him into buying some on his way to the Do place just to make him a little happy.

Chanyeol doesn't care about this boy's happiness. It's none of his concerns. Why would he bother giving even more effort into something he hates doing anyway? Of course he wouldn't mention that Baekhyun called him an asshole for the refusal of ice cream.

 

  
"Oh.. it's alright. Uhm... It's very hot outside. Do you want some water?"

The boy might be unable to move, but he's definitely got good observation skills. Maybe that's why he was so shocked when seeing Chanyeol standing at the door, not being able to see a bottle of water, rather than Chanyeol's dazzling appearance.

"Uhh.."

"I'll do it."

He insisted with a nod, running a few fingers through his long bangs and pulling them aside recklessly and only creating more mess out of his no-haircut.

Chanyeol now figured the source of the noise that he always hears before the door opens when he knocks. The source being the creaking sounds coming from the wheels of the wheelchair.

The boy rolled himself into the house, leaving the door open, and he could very easily hear that with every round one of the wheels is doing through the movement, there's an annoying noise of a metal creak coming out.

Wow, this wheelchair must be really old then. Not that he cares. It's not like he's just going to buy this random stranger a whole new wheelchair out of the blue. Even if he has enough funds to give him one of those every day for the rest of the year probably.

Taking the opportunity to fill up his curiousity gauge, Chanyeol peeked into the house from his position in front of the doorframe. It looked... Completely normal.

Before any further assessments could be deducted he heard the announcing creaks again, and the boy rolled back in front of him holding a glass of water carefully so it wouldn't spill from the efforts his other hand is doing to push him forward.

"Got any juice?"

Chanyeol asks instead. Ew. Who drinks water in such a hot day? Even if it'll probably be the healthier choice for him right now, since he is literally in the middle of working out, sort of. He can't just drink room temperature water.

Clearly, everyone has juice in their house during the summer. It's far more refreshing in the heat, plus the sugar is good to replenish his energy for the rest of his run back to the dorm. The fridge in his and Jongdae's room is filled with nothing other than juice ever since summer began.

It seems the question caught the water holder by surprise, before he lowered the glass down and looked at him a little puzzled for a few seconds.

"...Yeah, of course. It might be a little long to get, but please come in."

He responded calmly and carefully rolled himself backwards with another creak, away from the foorframe so that Chanyeol will have enough space to step inside without being too close to his chair.

Without much thought about the fact that it's such a heartwarming gesture to be invited inside in such a hot day, Chanyeol stepped into the apartment and looked around.

The door behind him was closed and a moment later more creaks came along as the guy made his way to what seems to be a small kitchen in the view of the apartment, sharing the same wall as the main entrance door.

Wow, this place is smaller than Chanyeol's own dorm room. There are barely any furnitures around either. Just anything basic one would need in an apartment where the kitchen shares the same space as the living room.

There aren't any decorations either except for two old looking framed pictures on the walls that seem to be original. Careless of his own sweaty body Chanyeol allows himself to fall down on the couch.

From there he has full view of the tiny kitchen space. He watches how the boy is stretching up and around the counters and drawers, like he's busy making something.

What is he doing? Chanyeol just wanted some juice. Is that too much to ask?

It's boring, and quiet. Chanyeol already regrets entering this place. The only good thing about being inside right now is how clean everything is, and how pleasant the temperature is compared to outside.

No wonder the boy constantly has a blanket over his lower half of the body. It's really cold, but in the best way possible right now for Chanyeol's hot body. Both literally, and figuratively.

Somehow the boy is now chopping something on the kitchen counter that is only slightly taller than his very own shoulders on the chair.

How pathetic, is he trying to impress Chanyeol or something? Because it isn't working, it's annoying. It looks almost tragic how hard the dude's working for who knows what reason.

It's nice to be inside and cool down and all, but Chanyeol's starting to get impatient. He'd rather get back, get washed and continue his yearly dummer grind with the special events in his loved games.

Wouldn't it be a lot easier to just leave and get himself something cold and nice on the way back to the dorm instead? How long will it take to get his stupid juice? He didn't ask for a freaking fruit platter.

 

  
Right when Chanyeol reached the very limit of his patience, he heard the creaking noises of the chair rolling back towards him, and sees how the boy's struggling to push himself forward with only one arm, since the other is occupied with whatever it is he made.

"Here. It's juice."

Well, it looks delicious. That's for sure. Chanyeol took the glass from the dude, the two of them finally looking at each other from almost the same height since Chanyeol even sitting down is taller than most.

Examining the unexpected beverage in his hand, he concluded it must be some sort of strawberry shake of sorts. It's pink and there are little pieces of strawberries floating around.

Without further due, Chanyeol begins sipping. Incredible, this is better than any juice he has ever had in his life. Sweet just in the right way, and the pieces of fruit are a great addition too.

Before he could even express his opinion about it out loud the boy was already creaking his way back towards the kitchen, and began washing whatever tools he used to do whatever he did before getting the juice.

By the time he gets back to the living room, settling half in front of the couch so it'd be easier to speak, Chanyeol was nearly done with the drink.

"Why'd it take so long?"

Chanyeol asked him between the sips, completely oblivious to the fact that he saw him stretch around and chop things in the kitchen mere moments ago. His brain just didn't connect the dots it seems.

"Uhm... I didn't have juice. So I made you some, I'm sorry."

He said with a small yet very visible sad smile. Taking the papers he previously placed on top of the little living room's coffee table onto his lap in order to read through them.

It felt like he's trying to avoid looking directly at Chanyeol. Which only confirms that Chanyeol's first intuition about being a hot attractive mess in this dude's eyes must be true.

But other than that, he... He made this drink himself? He didn't have juice? Why would he lie and say that he does then? Never mind. It doesn't matter, Chanyeol doesn't care about the reasoning.

"Wait, you made it yourself?"

He stared at his classmate with a blank sort of surprise, because he didn't expect to recieve a handmade beverage from a handicapped guy. It seems that the boy is surprised from the fact that Chanyeol himself is surprised, because his eyes also widened.

"Yes..? Didn't you see me do it a moment ago..?"

"Oh, I didn't realize."

"Ah."

And it's quiet again. And awkward again. And Chanyeol wishes he hadn't asked because now he isn't sure if he's happy about this situation at all. Of course he enjoys knowing he's attractive, but it is a little strange that this dude would do all this work for him.

Does he want anything in return? Will Chanyeol now owe him something? Why would he choose to be this nice to Chanyeol who never did anything nice to him at all? Other than... Bringing him the papers every week, maybe.

One sided awkwardness it is. Because when Chanyeol next glanced over at the boy while gulping out the very last drop of home made strawberry juice, all he did was read through the papers quietly.

Without a hustle Chanyeol stood up and headed to the door, grabbing the boy's attention after him.

"I should go. Get some juice for next time."

He looked surprised yet again, staring up at Chanyeol with his big wondering eyes beneath all the hair and the glasses, his mouth slightly agape and looking just as heart-y as every visit.

"O-..Okay."

Then Chanyeol stepped outside and hopped down the stairs with renewed energy. This drink was great. Really refreshing and delicious, his body cooled down in the few minutes he stayed inside, and now moving directly under the scorching sun was not as fun as before.

Overall, this experience gave Chanyeol conflicting feelings.

He definitely got a boost in confidence from the way the boy's cheeks flushed when he stared up at him, he also got to taste something delicious he will never get to try again.

But he wasted more time than he planned, and he still doesn't care even a little bit about the guy himself. It's stupid. He's just a classmate on a creaky wheelchair. Chanyeol hates thinking about it.

He can't imagine a life where he's not able to do as he pleases whenever he pleases. It makes him feel sick to the stomach and angry to meddle with. Yet every week is a reminder someone is going through just that.

It doesn't matter. He hates it, and he hates this task. Even if he might hate this Do classmate a little less.

 

  
"Jongdae."

"Chanyeol."

His roommate replied with a voice just as stern as his own, apparently he caught him in the middle of attempting to reach one of the higher shelves in their kitchen to grab a hold of a pot they barely use.

"Am I hot? I'm hot, right?"

An eyebrow of suspicion rose on his friend's face when he turned his head to look at Chanyeol with the desired pot in his hands.

"Well, you're almost dripping sweat on our floor so I'd assume so."

Chanyeol huffed impatiently.

"Pfft. Sure, you're good lookin' man. What happened? You never doubt yourself."

"I think that classmate person that I give papers to thinks the same thing."

Jongdae stared at him blankly for a while before laughing and turning around towards the stove. It's his turn to cook dinner for them after all.

"He really needs a haircut though."

Chanyeol mumbled to himself while stepping into the shower with all his clothes still on.

Dinner was great, he's lucky that both himself and Jongdae are pretty decent cooks. The long lasting gaming session after dinner was even greater, especially since he didn't have any time limit regarding how much noise he makes since Jongdae was spending the night at Baekhyun's dorm room.

He hated seeing a few more texts popping up on his cellphone's screen. Again he will be required to do things he doesn't care about. It's not like he minds these tasks as much as he minds Baekhyun's favour, because he gains something out of it at least.

Next week he could use the opportunity to run again. It turned out pretty well.

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

  
  


  
It has been two weeks. Two weeks and the boy still doesn't have any damn juice in his house? What's his problem? Does he not want Chanyeol to come in ever again or something like that?

Totally not because he is physically unable to just go out and buy any juice for himself. It can't be from that reason. Chanyeol still hasn't quite registered yet what it means to not be able to make decisions in one's own life.

He would have gotten inside and drank some juice with him, really, any juice. Chanyeol's open for anything. But for some reason this kid would prefer to make him more home-made juice each time? It's ridiculous. It takes too long and makes Chanyeol feel like an asshole for even asking because of the amount of effort being channelled into the action.

The weather's terrible now. The peak of the summer is truly a pain to stand up against. Let alone to walk all the way over to the Do house against. He hates this. The most troublesome task in the world.

How lucky is Baekhyun for having an excuse not to do it, and how unlucky is he, for being the one subjected into the torture instead.

When it's this hot outside and the sun is terrorizing whatever's still alive under its rays, Chanyeol can't even run and workout while completing the task anymore. So it feels even more like an annoying burden.

At this point he gains absolutely nothing out of this ordeal and after so many weeks of unfulfilling visits he's starting to get impatient. It's pointless, it's tiring, it's not worth it. The boy should find a better way to get the lecture notes.

How about a computer? Huh? Can't the professor just send it to him there? Actually, maybe this option doesn't exist because he doesn't have a computer...? If to judge by the place he lives and the condition of his wheelchair that possibility is definitely plausible.

Ugh, why does he even care? He should just stop falling into this hole of self pity and finish up the task until Baekhyun will take over him again. Woman up, Chanyeol.

And anyway, why does he even count how many weeks they've known each other? It's stupid. His subconscious just can't help it. Who knows, maybe it'll come in handy when Baekhyun will owe him something in return for this giant favour.

"Say, have you gotten ice cream for the boy yet?"

Speaking of the devil, there it speaks.

"No, why would I. He's not my friend. I don't even get you ice cream."

Chanyeol replied coldly, stabbing sharp eyes at Baekhyun's direction. The two of them are sitting in the living room of Jongdae and his' dorm in front of the television.

"Well, that's true, but I feel bad for not being able to do it myself. Boy just likes ice cream. Why not make him happy?"

Baekhyun sighed, diving deeper against the soft cushions of the couch behind him and crossing one leg above the other as if he's trying to look judgemental.

"Since when is his happiness my concern? He can stay sad and stuck in that shitty house of his till he dies for all I care."

Chanyeol really needs to learn how to filter his words properly. Or maybe filter his entire damn mind if he's at it. What the hell is he saying? Even for his selfish ass this is too much of a claim to mouth out loud.

He can feel Baekhyun's eyes bore holes at the side of his skull after this awful statement, and honestly, he doesn't blame him this time. Because the kid did nothing but make him delicious strawberry juice, and he doesn't deserve such slander.

With a sigh and a rub of his eyes Chanyeol grunts and stands up. If Baekhyun has enough time to sit here and make Chanyeol blurt things he regrets, why wouldn't he just go deliver the papers himself right now?

"'Kay. Got it. I know, I'm an asshole. This is all your fault to begin with. I hate dealing with shit like this."

He protested, an attempt to slide under Baekhyun's almost parental glare that conveys the seriousness of his scolding atmosphere. To no avail though. Because Baekhyun is just not as much of a jerk as he is.

Ever since this whole ordeal of delivery began it feels like all they do is fight. Because Baekhyun just has to be so rightous and Chanyeol... isn't. He doesn't care.

"Alright Baekhyun, you ready?"

Luckily another voice finally came out from Jongdae's bedroom as the door opened. The two turned to look at him while he was busy rubbing fingers through his hair in an attempt to brush it back.

"What? Were you two fighting again?"

He blinked at them while grabbing his car keys from the little hanger above the cabinet by the entrance door of their dorm.

Baekhyun was quicker to respond than Chanyeol, and with a cheerful hop into a standing position he grinned forcibly and smacked Chanyeol's back harshly while shouting out a fake sort of laughter.

"Nope! No fights here! I was just telling Chanyeol how happy I am that he decided to buy ice cream for our classmate!!"

A wince from the smack turned into a sharp and hostile glare downwards at Baekhyun. Biting onto his own tongue Chanyeol gritted his teeth a little and had to shut his eyes and inhale for a little bit in order to not burst.

"Alright, good. Let's go, don't wanna be late now do we."

Jongdae grinned at them, his lovable pleased smile that makes his eyes turn into thin lines and his eyebrows raise even higher.

Chanyeol loves it when Jongdae smiles because he looks like a kitten. The dynamics of their friendship is so crazy sometimes he wonders how it even works at all.

Baekhyun being the justice warrior, willing to fight for everybody's sake but himself, and somehow still mischivieous.   
Jongdae being an actual angel. Literally nothing bad can be said about him.   
And Chanyeol being the exact opposite of Jongdae. The bad jerk that does whatever he wants without giving a shit about anyone else.

The bad jerk that does a few possibly illegal things here and there with another student. He can't be judged though, it's easy and it's not like he does anything bad himself. He only provides a little bit of a fund to the student, who gives it back to him later fully. No harm done on his part.

With a sigh and for a change, his wallet in his pocket, Chanyeol followed after his pair of friends out to the hallways, out to the garden, and then out of the university ground. He waved them goodbye when Jongdae drove off, giving Baekhyun a ride to the hospital.

And Chanyeol stood there again. Under the sun. Papers in his bag and frustration in his heart. Along with frustration though was a pretty solid crave for ice cream. He's only got Baekhyun to blame.

 

  
Out in the sun he stands. On the little gap of cement between the thirty seventh' stair and the Do household's door. The backpack a little heavy and a pleasantly cold against his back through the fabrics.

He knocked twice, and as always, the creaking approached and the door opened. In front of him was his classmate. The absent one who really desperately needs a haircut and it starts bothering Chanyeol for a reason he cannot quite understand.

"Got juice this time?"

Chanyeol asked right away, the papers in his hand resting on top of his own shoulders since he raised his entire arm up to get into a cool pose. He knows the boy likes it so he might as well soak in a few more admiring looks while he's at it.

"Sorry... No."

He looked pretty miserable admitting this fact. Maybe Chanyeol wasn't the only one suffering from his inability to purchase anything on his own. Not that it matters, not that Chanyeol should even be aware of it at all.

Almost in a scolding way Chanyeol clicked his tongue a few times, before handing the dude his papers. Watching how he sort of struggles to keep his expression emotionaless even with the obvious disappointment.

"It's okay. I brought this with me."

Chanyeol finally spoke, breaking his classmate's streak of sadness into curiousity while he pulled the backpack off of his shoulders, unzipped the front, and pulled out a whole pack of ice cream, waving it lightly.

This... This was actually adorable. He could not only see but also feel the change his classmate was going through.

His big eyes usually filled with wonder were now sparkling brightly, pure excitement and happiness gushing out of the lights shining from them through the glasses.

His lips... His beautiful pink lips slowly stretched upwards and opened, turning from a pout into an actual heart. A dazzling smile in a shape Chanyeol has yet seen anyone embody so perfectly.

The bigger the smile grew the smaller his eyes squinted until they became two crescents of bliss under the drabble of hair and glasses. This... Was adorable.

"W-Whoa... I haven't had ice cream in months."

Chanyeol was almost at a loss of words for a while there, the heat of happiness this boy in front of him was radiating just from the sight of ice cream was so pure that for a second he thought his own sinful self shouldn't even be exposed to it.

What kind of life does he have that shitty ice cream can make him beam this brightly?

Stop, it doesn't matter. Chanyeol doesn't care. He doesn't.

Without a hint of hesitation his classmate rolled the creaking wheelchair backwards, allowing him entrance to the apartment that looks exactly the same as last week, the week before, and every single week he has come to deliver the papers.

Chanyeol stepped in, closed the door after himself and sat down in the same spot he previously occupied on the couch while visiting. With his eyes he followed after the boy's stretches around the small kitchen in order to bring them eating utensils.

When he finally rolled over to the living room and placed the pair of bowls and spoons on the coffee table he settled his chair closer to Chanyeol's spot than he did the last time he came to visit.

"Thank you for this.. I can't really get it on my own."

"Clearly."

Chanyeol replied a little too fast and a little too cold, staring down at the worn out looking chair his classmate's technically glued onto. It seems the other didn't really mind. He noticed his chair was being examined, and just gave it a glance by himself.

With a lot of effort, yet trying to appear effortlessly, the boy stretched forward and began digging into the ice cream pack with a spoon in order to give each of them a generous portion to enjoy.

 

  
Staring blankly at the ice cream Chanyeol suddenly remembered something he had forgotten to do a lot time ago. Well, not really forgotten, he just didn't care enough about it to bother.

"Say, what's your name even?"

Right. They don't even know each other's names. Chanyeol knows that this dude knows Baekhyun by his name, and it's probably the other way around too, but they never really got to that stage.

"Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo. I'm sorry, I completely forgot to introduce myself all this time."

He replied, a little surprised by the sudden realization that after who knows how many weeks they've met each other weekly they only now learn the names behind the faces, and bodies.

Kyungsoo then pulled his ice cream bowl back onto his own blanket covered lap. He loaded a small portion onto it even though they have the whole pack, and took a spoonfull into his mouth. Why did Chanyeol watch him do it? He doesn't know either.

But he did, and now he got to see Kyungsoo's eyes shine again, and his lips curve up just enough for a small subtle smile to form and make it harder to look away.

"Well I didn't either, so I guess we're even. I'm Chanyeol."

Chanyeol shrugged, scolding himself internally for whatever it is that his body is making him see without his premission. The way he savours the little cold bite in his mouth was so cute.

Unlike Kyungsoo, he loaded almost a third of the entire container into his bowl and shoved the spoon carelessly into his mouth, chewing on the cold sweetness until it melted enough for him to swallow without freezing his brain.

"Are we in the same class then?"

Kyungsoo suddenly asked, looking at Chanyeol's direction with another of those big-eyes-full-of-wonder expressions of his that make Chanyeol feel like he is at least seven times more attractive than he realistically is.

"Yeah. We are. You never come."

What a cold answer. If his brain didn't freeze from the ice cream then his heart will freeze from the amount of nonchalance lying under the slightly judgemental tone he gave the boy.

"Sadly. I wish I could. It's too much trouble for my parents to--"

"Hey, leave it. Just thinking about... This, makes me feel stressed."

Chanyeol stopped him before the words would form a sentence he might have had an emotional reaction to. Technically, there is no reason for him to be such an ass about the subject.

He can't help it. It's the truth. Thinking about living a life that is chained by such a large and impossible restriction to break through puts pressure on Chanyeol's free, roaming soul and nature.

To add fuel to the fire, since this is what Chanyeol specializes at, he gave Kyungsoo's chair such a disgusting uncomfortable glance that the boy wasn't able to ignore. He quietly stared down at his own chair once again, at the creaking slightly bended wheels, and nodded, silencing himself with another spoon of ice cream.

Way to go Chanyeol. Everything was fine and dandy until he just had to bring this up. Why would he do that? Chanyeol hates this. Even sitting this close to the wheelchair makes him feel slightly uncomfortable.

He's such a pissy baby. But really, he doesn't care. So what if he might hurt Kyungsoo's feelings? It's not like anything can be done about it.

Now it's just quiet again. And he feels awkward for being the one who caused it. Normally he's the master of keeping up conversations in public, painting himself the image of nothing lower than perfection.

"Listen, I don't really wanna know how you do anything. I can't even imagine it. I love moving. It sucks that you can't."

Chanyeol sighed out with frustration. Why does he even feel the need to explain himself? He doesn't owe this kid any explanation for what he says. He doesn't understand himself why it bothers him so much to see the light die down in his eyes.

"I can move everything except my legs."

Yeah, well, that makes sense. Chanyeol kind of assumed it. He hummed in return.

Very glad that Kyungsoo doesn't continue explaining any more about the subject than that, because he seriously doesn't care enough to push himself through to knowing. He just doesn't want to know at all.

 

  
They passed some time watching the television quietly together. The leftover ice cream long gone into the freezer with a few more creaks of Kyungsoo's chair. They didn't speak. It was somewhat... Alright.

"Chanyeol, I was actually planning to make some lunch. Should I make it double?"

Oh. Kyungsoo's voice saying his name made their, well, sort of connection feel a lot more real all of a sudden. Did he make the right choice upgrading that level of interaction with him? What would he do with a handicapped guy in his life?

"Oh wow, really? Sure."

He was surprised, because even though he'd expect a person in his situation to be doing absolutely nothing other than pity themselves and stay motionless their entire lives until they die, Kyungsoo is different.

Why is this man who is clearly in much worse state than him being so kind to him? What will he be gaining out of this? Is Chanyeol missing something? Is he begin lead into a trap?

Either way, he definitely is hungry at this time of the day, so he might as well take advantage of the offer given to him.

So Chanyeol remains sitting in front of the television while Kyungsoo rolls over to the kitchen and begins cooking. Chanyeol can't really see from his angle what it is exactly that his host is making, but it's such an odd sight to see him working in front of a cabinet not much shorter than his own seated height.

So distracting. The way a man like this cook is so much different than normal people. Even though he doesn't really care, he keeps glancing at the boy's direction. It's such a sight. How he struggles to stretch out and reach different things around.

There is something in Chanyeol that wants to offer help, but he doesn't. Because this is none of his business. He's the guest and therefore the host should be taking care of everything for his sake. That's how it works.

And anyway, since when does he wants to help anybody in anything ever? He doesn't even help Baekhyun reach the higher shelves in their dorm room when he comes to visit them just to snack on their stash.

It took a while. A while in which Chanyeol was trying to watch the television, but his interest kept pulling his eyes towards the cook in the kitchen who works so meticulously even with his condition.

A plate mounted with a simple yet tasty looking noodles meal with vegetables is laid down in front of him on the coffee table. He doesn't wait for permission and digs right in.

It's delicious, and Chanyeol finishes it so quickly that he feels like he hasn't even eaten at all. To pay back for the lack of substance in his stomach since the food didn't yet settle down, he starts eyeing Kyungsoo's plate.

A pretty obvious hint that Kyungsoo understands fairly quickly and finishes his bite in order to talk, but Chanyeol was earlier and spoke before he could even open his mouth.

"Can I have more?"

"Oh, of course. I hope you don't mind it's been in my plate."

"Nah."

Chanyeol then watches how Kyungsoo pours two thirds of his own portion of a meal into Chanyeol's own empty plate. Easily he consumed the rest of what he had recieved, and finally felt full and content from the food.

Even though his classmate was still eating the tiny portion left in his own plate, slowly and carefully, Chanyeol got bored. The show he actually cared about on TV is over and watching another person eat is really not his thing.

So he just stood up and began stretching and grunting, preparing himself to leave. His host will take care of the bowls, spoons, forks and plates. That's what hosts do. They serve the guests and then clean everything up on their own. So it shouldn't be Chanyeol's problem now.

"I think I'll go now. Thanks for the meal, t'was really good."

He said, nodding towards Kyungsoo with a sense of distance but respect. Chanyeol is an ass, but he knows he should appreciate it when the food is good. Being quite a picky eater, if something fits his taste it's really a reason to celebrate.

"Oh, thank you Chanyeol. For the papers, and the compliment."

Wow. Another one of those smiles. Kyungsoo's smiles could really cure the world out of all evil. It's a shame it didn't work on his very own two legs. His thin eyes, heart shaped lips, pink cheeks... It's wonderful. Even under the messy hair and glasses.

It almost looks like Kyungsoo actually smiles at him fondly. Shyly.

Suddenly Chanyeol feels like maybe it isn't so bad. Maybe even if he can't move, even if he lives in such a shitty neighbourhood, stuck in this little apartment, maybe he's still okay.

 

  
The way back to the dorm took him longer than the way to, now, Kyungsoo's apartment. Kyungsoo and his parents that is.

Chanyeol was a little lost in thought. This visit was the best so far. He did feel a bit uncomfortable, but compared to the previous times it was nothing. Kyungsoo was being very nice.

Nice both with his acts of kindness, and from the appearance aspect. As shallow as it sounds, something about Kyungsoo is just so fascinating for Chanyeol. Next week he should just bring some juice himself.

His smile when the ice cream was revealed... It was something out of this world. Chanyeol hasn't seen such pure happiness before, not even when Jongdae, the human angel is smiling.

He made it back to the dorm and settled down in his room. Jongdae and Baekhyun aren't supposed to be back until the evening, so the dorm is all his to shout in, in case he feels like going into any competetive matches in his games.

It didn't take long for him to fall into the gaming trap, spending the entire day motionless except for his hands, fingers, and vocal chords in front of the screen of his computer in the room.

When the sky had no more sunlight to shine into Chanyeol's room through the half opened window above his bed, his cellphone buzzed on the corner of his desk. To pay proper attention to what message might appear there, he pulled his headphones down around his neck.

Oh, it's a text from Baekhyun. At this hour? Weren't they supposed to be back by now?

Baekhyun:  
'I have good news! You're free and so am I! No more doctors for me! Paper delivery service is done and complete. I owe you buddy. Thank you for all these weeks. Jongdae will be staying at my dorm tonight ;) A small reward, have fun grinding for the achivement I already have HAHAHA.'

What a brat. When did he even have the time to get the new title? It came out literally two days ago? What kind of gaming sorcery did he use in order to achieve it so quickly?

But hey, he's free.

Chanyeol is finally done! He's no longer forced to deliver papers to a handicapped classmate he didn't even know existed until way too many weeks ago.

What a relief. He won't be needing to buy any more ice cream or juice. Even if he only did it once, earier today.

In his dream he was a bird again, flying high up above the earth, yet this time he sees a figure standing on the ground beneath him. Hah. Stupid creature that can't fly, they don't know what they're missing.

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

  
  


  
Chanyeol is free. Ever since last week he was finally no longer under the oath of his favour for Baekhyun. He didn't have to go to the Do household and deliver lecture papers while wasting his own time.

He was actually happy. There wasn't even a hint of anxiousness within him about the uncomfortable task he was given. Class was going as boring as usual, the summer events in his games are almost over, he's been having a blast.

Completely forgot about anything related to any handicapped classmate he used to visit weekly. His name isn't even being called out in class, never has, never will. He's gone from his life and it's great.

He has enough time everyday to do whatever he wants, he goes on runs again now that the weather isn't as thick and impossibly dreadfully hot. The nights are warm though, which sucks, but other than that he's great.

Baekhyun has been visiting Jongdae and his' dorm room almost every single day this week, back in his old healthy noisy behaviour that makes them either laugh or sigh. Back with his whiny demands to eat some of their snack stash in the tall cabinet.

No matter how hard he tried, Chanyeol still wasn't able to surpass Baekhyun's scores in the game. Frustrated he is, but hey, being second best is just as satisfying sometimes. Baekhyun is just impossible to defeat when it comes to these things.

Especially now that he's healthy again and has enough time to spend in front of the screen just like Chanyeol himself. So their score gap doesn't change much, but the permanent distance between them remains the same as well.

Yes, this is what Chanyeol's life has become. Dedicated entirely to the games and the screen just like how it used to be before the favour has began. At least his runs around the block under the sun on almost a daily basis kept his skin from ghosting.

Everything is perfect, because he's in charge of himself, he's in control of what he does.

He can't even remember how it felt to look at his absent classmate's wheelchair creaking around. His pleasure chasing personally that rushes after the instant desires just pushed all memories of the man aside.

In this one single week that he treated like an entire celebration, he even managed to befriend the cute leader of the soccer team in their university.

A short guy with spikey hair and big fox like eyes that literally looks like one of the fantasy characters in his game came into the real world. A sort of unrealistic type of beauty. Chanyeol is all about the small figure, big eyed types.

Even though at first he was sure he'd be more than glad to hit it when they'll get to that point, somewhere along the way he realized the soccer player might not be what makes his heart flutter.

 

  
Chanyeol is free. It has been a whole week since Baekhyun announced it to him.

And yet, how come he's standing right in front of the Do apartment, breathing a little faster after climbing all thirty seven stairs of dust up to be spotted in front of the door?

Class today was easy, Chanyeol didn't nap at all this time since these lessons are actually sort of important for finals. Containing information that is summed up in a way that'll make it easier for him to binge study before the exams.

He remembers packing up his notebooks into the backpack while watching how Baekhyun greeted the professor with a smile to announce his return and take the pile of lecture papers that he will have to bring himself.

Baekhyun clearly left the class and went towards the dorms' direction, and he... Chanyeol... Turned the other way.

And now he is here. Standing in front of the apartment his absent classmate is chained into. Without any lecture papers, without juice, without ice cream. Just him, his class backpack, and his confused state of mind.

He doesn't even remember walking there, why would he do it? His plan for the day was the finish up his and Jongdae's laundry from last week and game. Like always.

Apparently he already knocked too, because he can hear Kyungsoo's wheelchair creaking its way towards the door.

What is he supposed to do? Or say? Or what?

He wasn't even supposed to be here right now. No matter how fast and hard he's trying to think about it, there seems to be no logical explanation. Chanyeol clearly doesn't enjoy coming here. Maybe it just became such a part of his routine.

But that wouldn't explain why he didn't even take the papers for Kyungsoo himself. What excuse is he supposed to give his classmate when the door opens? He doesn't want to be there. He wants to turn back and run, but his body's frozen in place when he hears the door unlocking.

It opens and in front of him, with the familiar messy way too long hair that drops down under Kyungsoo's eyes over the glasses, with the plaid blanket wrapped around his lower half of the body...

Kyungsoo smiles. He adjusted the angle of his head upwards in order to be able to see Chanyeol's face, and smiled. And Chanyeol is dumbfounded.

Standing there grounded in his steps, mouth shut tight and eyes slightly shaking in their sockets from the internal state of distress. Chanyeol has never done anything like this. He never experienced how it feels when his heart and body and mind are all pushing him in different directions.

What the hell is he doing here? All he can do is stare at Kyungsoo in a sort of shock for a while, confused by the state of his paper-less hands, annoyed because he just can't seem to understand why.

Did the routine carve so deep into him that he just automatically got here right after class? What was he expecting? Well, he really doesn't have a single answer and way too many questions to continue asking.

"Hey, uhm. I have no idea why I'm here, because Baekhyun was supposed to deliver the papers today himself."

He finally speaks, breaking the slightly too long silence between them with a slightly nervous tone, that Kyungsoo seems to have caught on immediately and gave Chanyeol a questioning look.

"Would you like to come inside anyway? I still have a little bit of the ice cream left from last week."

The boy offered with a small friendly smile and started rolling himself backwards in order to allow Chanyeol access into the apartment.

"Oh, sure. Just give me a second."

Kyungsoo nodded understandingly and fully creaked his way into the apartment, Chanyeol could hear from the door that was left open how he probably rolled towards the kitchen in order to prepare everything for it.

Instead, Chanyeol decided to call Baekhyun. It would be way too awkward, and ruin his entire fake 'bad-boy' reputation if Baekhyun will catch him eating ice cream with soft Kyungsoo like they're friends or something.

Because they aren't friends.

 

  
He turned around, leaning his arms over the dusty cement railing that prevents the visitors from falling down to the ground beneath, he stares out at the view of the rundown neighbourhood when listening to the overly cheerful calling ringtone Baekhyun chose. Finally, an answer.

"When are you going to papers boy?"

"In like an hour, why?"

Papers boy. The nickname Chanyeol always addressed Kyungsoo as whenever he ranted about how terrible the task was while Baekhyun was still unable to do it himself.

"Okay."

Alright, that means he has an hour to stay with Kyungsoo, eat the ice cream, and make it back into his own dorm room in time before Baekhyun will be there and possibly ruin whatever little respect Chanyeol still has for his social status.

"No, now I'm curious. Why? I thought you hated doing it? Are you worried about him?"

Oh great. Now Baekhyun will go on his usual annoying half interrogation half teasing sessions of squeezing every bit of information out of impatient and upset Chanyeol until he feels like either sewing Baekhyun's lips together, or just running away.

"No."

He answered cold and sharp, he has no time for this nonsense if he plans to eat ice cream and make it back on time so it won't be suspicious.

"Awww, Chanyeol! I knew you had a soft heart deep inside."

More than the very annoying tone Baekhyun uses whenever he feels like being smug, it was the fact that he could Baekhyun was smiling on the other side of the line that got on Chanyeol's nerves.

"Fuck you, it's your fault I've been coming here--- I mean, going there every single week."

Shit. Oh god. The worst timing to make such a mistake. Baekhyun is smart, he knows that. If the slip up was too obvious Baekhyun might have already deduced that he really is there already.

"I hate that place, the neighbourhood is ugly, everything is filled with dust and it smells like shit all the time because of the gross homeless people around,"

He has to keep going, he has to distract Baekhyun enough with other complaints so that he'll forget about the accidental exposure of his location.

"It's stupid, and the stairs are outside of the building? Who the fuck builds anything like this. It falls apart like it's been standing here for centuries. I could break the fucking windows with my finger if I wanted to,"

Just a little more, a bit more so it would sound believable.

"And this crippled guy, I can't stand him and his stupid noisy wheelchair, creaking like a sad old dying car that already lost its engine, it's not worth it. I hate going there. I don't worry about him or anybody,"

"Oh, really? Why would you list off all these things if you didn't care?"

He can hear that Baekhyun's about to take a breath and continue pestering until he'll admit his defeat, so it's time for the final blow.

"I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT HIM! So get off my back."

Chanyeol ended up raising his voice louder than he originally planned. Tapping the screen of his phone and shoving it into his pocket aggressively right after. Then he sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair.

What the fuck is Baekhyun implying? That he actually has a soft spot for this stupid seated kid who can't even get shitty juice on his own? Who cares if it's from a valid reason.. It's stupid, and Chanyeol doesn't care.

He shouldn't care, because caring means he'll be thinking about it, and thinking about it makes him feel uncomfortable and nervous. Chanyeol needs his freedom and the lack of it stresses him out.

 

  
Then he turned around, slightly calmer than before, only to be faced with Kyungsoo standing right at the door, holding a bowl with a pretty small portion of ice cream in his hands.

The way his eyes look at Chanyeol now is different. It isn't filled with fondness and wonder anymore, it's... Clouded. Chanyeol can no longer make what is in his eyes, the hair over them makes it too hard.

"I.. Uhm. I had less than I thought, I saved it over the week for today but I think my parents ate from it.. You can have it all if you want."

Kyungsoo explained with a small timid and really-trying-not-to-be-sad smile.

He definitely heard him.

Shit. Chanyeol feels like the true asshole he is for once. Not understanding why, because he really doesn't care about Kyungsoo. Right? He's just been bringing him stupid papers for a few weeks.

So what? That doesn't make them friends. Barely even acquaintances. Kyungsoo means nothing to him. He's a nobody that comes out of nothing and is capable of nothing.

This whole situation shouldn't make Chanyeol's heart clench like this for no reason. He's known for being blunt and honest and cruel. No holding back Chanyeol when he's going off. Ever. He never felt bad for it either.

So why now? Why towards this stupid boy in a wheelchair?

"Thanks."

He replied dryly instead, shutting off the loud clatter of conflicting thoughts and emotions. He'd much rather listen to the annoying creaking of Kyungsoo's wheels than the way his conscience is starting to scold him.

Chanyeol's not used to it. He doesn't know what it feels to care about someone. So clearly he doesn't care about this classmate of his either.

When finally inside after Kyungsoo once again rolled himself backwards to close the door, Chanyeol sat down in his now usual spot on the couch and began eating the ice cream alone. Big portions with each spoonful.

It's nearly done within two bites, because whatever was left from last week must have really been eaten by Kyungsoo's parents if he saved it.

Wait, why does he even care? Why does it matter of Kyungsoo's parents ate it? Who cares if he has any ice cream at all? And he actually saved it the entire week? What for? Is he stupid? He should have just eaten all of it on his own.

Did he save it for the sake of eating it with Chanyeol again...? No. Stop. This boy's nice, but not to the level of being this dedicated that he'd save it just to be able to share it again. Baekhyun said that he can't get it on his own. And Kyungsoo himself said he hasn't had any for months.

He must have eaten all of this on his own, even if Chanyeol really can't detect a single sign of a lie in Kyungsoo's appearance or behaviour right now. Ugh-- Why does it matter? Chanyeol's going crazy.

His mind just spiraling all over the place between his determination to remain ignorant, cold and distant, and between a hidden part of himself that he didn't even know existed that makes him feel like he wants to.. Help.

Which is ridiculous, because he's Chanyeol. He needs to chill, and stop his mind from this chaos.

 

  
They are silent for a long time, the two of them in the living room of the Do apartment. Kyungsoo sat a bit further away from him than the last time they shared lunch together.

"Chanyeol, you don't... You don't have to come here."

Kyungsoo finally breaks the ice sharp silence that stood like a thin wall between them. He spoke in a tone Chanyeol never heard him use before. But it's better to focus on the ice cream than to turn and match the tone with whatever expression Kyungsoo might be doing.

"Thank you for the papers. The ice cream too. It was delicious."

He continues with sincerity.

"I'm grateful for your help even though I'm... Me."

Chanyeol then finally turned his head to look at him. All he can see is Kyungsoo looking down at his own old chair with a mixture of sadness and anger. Anger that sparks a hint of pain on his expression, and a light sting in Chanyeol's own being.

"Anyway... Uhm. Thank you. You've done a lot for me, so don't feel obliged. I know people don't really like... Uh... Others that are like me. I know you don't like me."

It goes down and down. Kyungsoo's charm, the magical aura of pureness that always surrounded him through the past visits is now gone, replaced by something dark that makes Chanyeol's stomach twist.

What is this? What is he feeling? Regret...? Guilt...? Anger...? Sadness...? Why does Chanyeol have any emotional reaction at all to anything that this guy is saying, even if he's correct?

"It's okay. I don't blame you at all because... I don't like me, too."

Chanyeol keeps staring at him. Maybe it's a good thing that Kyungsoo's eyes are covered with thick messy uncut hair. Maybe it saves him a lot of discomfort right now. Not seeing the way the pain dwells in his eyes is good for Chanyeol right now.

The last bite of ice cream that was left on Chanyeol's spoon while Kyungsoo spoke is melting and dripping down onto the bowl beneath it. He's been holding it in the air for a while and his fingers must have heated the metal.

Something about Kyungsoo's lack of expression, the fact that his eyes are hidden so well for a situation like this, makes Chanyeol feel nervous and stressed inside. Something is very wrong. Either with Kyungsoo, or with himself.

And he isn't willing to sit here and wait until the answer is revealed. He's had enough for one day. He shouldn't have come here to begin with. Literally. And now he'll be leaving this place in an emotional turmoil.

"Listen, I should go."

He called out, his voice slightly breaking downwards through the end of the sentence, and he felt like if he remains even a little longer more things will begin dropping. Like his own heart. Like Kyungsoo's... Tears.

Chanyeol has to go. Just like Kyungsoo said - he's done enough, he did what he had to, even went above and beyond and brought the boy some ice cream. He was just praised by Kyungsoo for his doings, so he should take it and go.

And so he does. He grabbed his backpack again and left. Closing the door behind him. Not daring to look back at Kyungsoo's hunched body over the wheelchair, motionless and silent as he made his way outside.

He rushed down the stairs that he won't ever climb again and began running back. It was hot, he didn't have comfortable clothes for running.

But he ran. He ran faster and noticed how unevenly his heart is beating his chest while putting barely any effort. He feels like he's choking on his own breath and his blood is pumping fast.

This was their goodbye. Their final goodbye. An unexpected meeting. It's good. He won't have to see him ever again. It's good because he will definitely remember not to come here next week.

It's good, right?

Even if he feels that his entire body is tense and aching. Even if he sweats way more than he intended and the laundry will take longer. Even if Kyungsoo's emotionless eye-less expression hidden by his long hair is flashing repeatedly in his brain.

Why? He doesn't care. Chanyeol just doesn't care.

 

  
No stairs have been climbed that week. Not the week after it either.

The more Chanyeol stayed on the flat ground, the lower his general mental state descended.

The lower his actions became too. He ended up doing a little too many 'businesses' with his fellow university student that takes and then brings back his money, somehow.

He stayed away, he made sure to remember. Not setting a foot outside of the university grounds. Barely setting a foot outside of the dorm room. Let alone of his very own bedroom. He invested every waking moment of his day to the games.

He skipped class many times with the excuse of 'not feeling well' that he gave Baekhyun after the act. It was a stupid decision, because right now is the most important time to come and show up in classes.

Exams are approaching, and even though Chanyeol's opinion about his own achievable success doesn't sway, Jongdae and Baekhyun are worried.

Chanyeol just doesn't care.

He could hear how Jongdae told Baekhyun he hasn't even heard Chanyeol using the shower for a few days when he came to visit one day. That'd kind of mean, Chanyeol's not--.. Okay, he stinks. But who cares?

Students that are known to skip classes all year round are attending, while Chanyeol himself, the student at the very top of his class is taking his damn time and ignoring his responsibilities.

Not only that, but when he finally does leave his room to do anything other than hunch down over his desk and blurr his eyes out in front of illuminated computer and television and cellphone screens, he's an ass.

A total ass. A jerk, a bully. He even caught himself one day almost bursting out at Jongdae for not putting an item in the fridge in a certain way. At Jongdae! The best person he has ever known!

Chanyeol is well aware that he is going through something bad. He's turned hostile and nasty. An angry mess that refuses to do anything when being told unless he wants to. Maybe too much freedom isn't much of a blessing like he thought he knew.

He knows, and yet there is nothing he's willing to do about it. Becasue it doesn't matter. He doesn't care. Soon enough exams will come. He will study for a couple of days until he drops, ace the test and return to the dark routine of self destruction that he enjoys so much.

It's getting worse by the day. Two weeks have already passed since the last time he stepped out of the university grounds. Or out under the sun at all for that matter.

The indication that made Baekhyun and Jongdae worry the most, was the fact that Chanyeol has stopped working out. Well, technically, he didn't. He just does everything inside his own room every single day.

Pushups, sit-ups, stretches, squats, weight lifting with his own two little bell weights. He does those every day when he wakes up, and before going to bed. The only problem is that he barely washes himself anymore. So his bedsheets are smelly, he is smelly, his clothes are smelly.

One thing remained the same these entire two weeks. The memory of Kyungsoo's shining and happy smile when he recieved the ice cream, compared to the horribly sad smile he expressed after hearing the phonecall, and the... Lack of emotions he had right when Chanyeol left.

He can't get it out of his head. The sudden intenral burn he feels whenever he remembers the amount of misery that gushed out of the poor boy at their last meeting.

It's stupid. Kyungsoo is stupid. Chanyeol is stupid.

Chanyeol is tired. He can't handle this for much longer. As much as he loves flaunting around how much he doesn't care about anything and anyone, he needs to do well.

His future depends on it, and without being perfect at the classes his parents had submitted him into, he will lose credibility from them and have to settle on his own. His father won't allow anything else. And he's not going to give up his loved games for this.

Something needs to be done for him to snap out of this situation, but the longer it lasts the harder it is for climb out of this dark pit.

He's torn between so many things at once, and even though he'll never admit it, he kind of hopes someone will do something to pull him out of this evil web of constant distress and anger.

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

  
  


  
"Chanyeol, this has to stop!!"

Jongdae called out to him once finally, after two whole days locked in his room except for pee breaks, food restocking, and a few meetings with the fellow student who's borrowing his money for 'business' before giving it back, Chanyeol was out in the kitchen again.

He felt like trash. He looked like it that's for sure. Probably smelled like trash too.

With a sigh he remained standing in front of the closed fridge, a bottle of some 'healthy' yogurt drink opened in his hand, and a mustache of pink yogurt was painted above his lip once he took a large sip right from the lid.

"Seriously, you look like shit. You are acting like shit too. No offense, but even I am done with you."

Well, that makes sense. Jongdae truly is an angel, and if even Jongdae is getting to the boiling point it means something has to change. Finally, Chanyeol's much anticipated yet feared resolution is about to land on him.

"I am shit. I embrace it. Leave it Jongdae."

He replied coldly, knowing that while his instant current desire is to return to his room and continue playing, ignoring the piles of school work and studying he needs to do in order to fulfill his wish, deep down he needs it. He needs Jongdae's upcoming scold.

"Listen.. You're my brother, we've been together for years. Rather than being angry I'm just... I'm so sad to see you like this."

Jongdae began, sounding like he's truly struggling to remain above the surface and not become too sad. A little surprised, Chanyeol turned his head to look at him. Oh no. Jongdae's sad face is the worst.

Almost as bad as--.. Ugh. Chanyeol needs to seriously stop associating every single thing about his life with the stupid boy in the wheelchair.

"You've never been this bad before. Please, let's talk a little. I want to know what's wrong, I want to help you. Finals are coming and I heard from Baekhyun that your professor is concerned..."

Chanyeol sighed lightly. Fair enough. Jongdae has got a point. He's always right. Chanyeol knows that his situation has gone way beyond what he should have really done with the way he was and still is feeling.

But it's so much easier to forget the world and get lost in the colorful, exciting, bright virtual reality that he knows so very well.

There's no point in declining Jongdae's attempt at helping him right now. He already knows he needs it. Might as well take it while it's being offered. Jongdae doesn't deserve a shitty roommate like himself.

After placing the yogurt bottle back in the fridge Chanyeol followed after his dorm mate to the living room, sitting down on the couch lazily by his side, he rubbed his face and eyes, stretching the tired bags that formed underneath them.

"Alright. Tell me. What is up?"

Jongdae asked him, determination yet caution are visible on his expression and noticable through his voice. Chanyeol wouldn't get angry now. He is too tired to be able to spare any energy into something as pointless as showing even more negativity to Jongdae.

"It's stupid. Remember that classmate I brought papers to...?"

He began, resting against the back of the couch and allowing his neck to stretch by leaning his head backwards.

"I can't... get him out of my head. After Baekhyun already came back.. Two weeks ago. I found myself standing in front of his place again... Without even having to deliver any papers? What the fuck really?"

Chanyeol huffed with a sense of frustration, and even though there's a tiny portion of anger inside him, he knows this anger isn't turned towards anybody other than himself.

"And like, I don't like him. He's using a freaking wheelchair. I can't stand these things. But.. Somehow he just knew and said some sad shit and then I felt... Guilty...?"

"Chanyeol? You? Feeling guilty?"

Jongdae's voice now sounded as if it was just announced that the world he has been living in is a lie and that everything is just an alternate reality to him. That level of surprised and shocked.

Is it really this rare to have Chanyeol feel anything other than shameless pride? Probably, actually. He can somehow understand why Jongdae's reacting like this. Chanyeol himself just doesn't know how to contain these sorts of feelings.

"I know, it's a fucking disaster."

He admitted, rubbing his face once again with his palm, trying to distract himself with physical actions so that his mind wouldn't flash any more images of sad Kyungsoo right behind his shut eyelids.

"Chanyeol! This is really big! I've never seen you feel any sort of remorse, ever. I don't know who that guy is, but he did something to you--"

"Yeah, ruined my life--"

"NO! He made you feel something. It's more than Baekhyun and I ever managed to get out of you when you were being an asshole."

Jongdae insisted, giving pretty valid reasoning for his stance.

He is right. As always. Chanyeol knows it too, even if his conscious mind will try to battle and admit the defeat to his heart, his subconscious is burning with emotions.

Which is insane, because Chanyeol is convinced all these feelings and thoughts are a result of his disliking and fear of the immobility that entails from spending a life on a wheelchair like Kyungsoo.

Apparently according to Jongdae it might be something else. Maybe it's not just fear. Fear comes from an instinct of survival. But Chanyeol isn't worried about that. Quite the opposite, he has all the possibilities to keep his desired lifestyle, but chooses not to.

He chose not to go out all these days, he chose to lock himself up and remain like a mole. The exact opposite of Kyungsoo who's stuck inside without a choice. Was this some sort of punishment for himself that he wasn't even aware of?

"I don't know what you did with him, but he's literally the only person that made you feel anything ever. You should go see him again."

Chanyeol groaned with irritation. Really? That's the grand solution? Talking with the person who probably hates him and wishes he'd never come back ever again?

"Are you crazy? He hates my guts after what I've said. Dude, I ate his fucking ice cream."

He ate the very last bit of the ice cream he brought Kyungsoo especially because he knew the boy's unable to get any by himself. Probably can't afford any. If he considers the fact that when they ate together rather than make more food Kyungsoo gave him his own as a refill.

Wait... What? So what if he ate his ice cream? So what if he doesn't have a lot of money for food? Why does Chanyeol even think about this?

"I'm telling you, you gotta talk with him. You have to. I've never seen you like this, something is haunting you and you're going to get worse unless you settle this."

He's right. Of course Jongdae's right. He knows it himself. Chanyeol's just a big stupid baby. He knew he needs to do all of this. He knew he has to go and speak with Kyungsoo again or he'll never breathe peacefully for the rest of his life, probably.

And yet, only now while being told to do it he is able to find the determination and will to act. This is terribly ironic. How Chanyeol's free way of life turned out against him, and only by someone else dictating him what to do he's finally feeling like he is able to act.

"Jongdae, I think I'd die without you."

"I know. Tomorrow's the day you used to deliver it, right? Go then. Need any help preparing?"

"Just need your love and support."

Jongdae laughed heartfully and even though Chanyeol knew his hair must be greasy and gross, Jongdae still reached his hand out and stroked his head gently.

"Do take a shower though."

"Yup."

 

  
Chanyeol showered, he scrubbed himself clean from anything that might have remained as a dead layer of skin on top of his own renewed self. He scrubbed his entire bedroom clean as well. With Jongdae's help of course.

Today's the day and he can feel it in his bones. He's nervous and anxious. He's uncomfortable and slightly upset, but at himself. Because he's an idiot asshole that allowed more than one person to suffer because of his own actions. And even though usually he wouldn't even blink about it, something in him forces him to.

Even with all of this, he's determined. It's something Chanyeol has to do. He's held back for too long and Jongdae wouldn't forgive him if he returns to the dorm without results. Without changing.

Class is going awfully slow, Chanyeol can't even imagine shutting an eye today. Not only because this material is actually important and he'll be needing any form of information to study for the rapidly approaching exams, but also because he's tense for what'll happen when class ends.

He plans to go to Kyungsoo's place right after the lesson. Probably buy some new ice cream on the way and explain everything, pop off this balloon of negative feelings so that he could finally breathe again.

What better way is there to get to Kyungsoo if not by the original way that they've met?

When the lecture finally ended Chanyeol packed his bag quickly, walking down towards the professor's table where he can see Baekhyun chatting with him, smiling while waiting for their teacher to give him the papers.

In quick steps Chanyeol made it to the table himself, grabbing onto the lecture papers that are being held between the professor and Baekhyun's hands.

Before neither of them could react Chanyeol just snatched the papers away from them and held them tightly in his own hands, already starting to walk towards the exit.

"What the fuck Chanyeol?"

Baekhyun asked surprised, realizing his use of language and quickly turning to face the professor awkwardly.

"I'll do it. Shut up."

Chanyeol threw back at him, slamming the door open in front of him while hearing Baekhyun attempting to talk with the professor to tell them Chanyeol means no harm and will do the delivery himself this week as well.

Ignoring the buzzing of his phone in his pocket along the way to the little convenience store to get the ice cream, and then in the remaining path towards the Do apartment, Chanyeol walked fast. Feeling his muscles tense with every step.

In front of him stands the building. The oh so terrible building with three floors and exactly thirty seven stairs that lead to his destination. Chanyeol already knows that thirty seven is an odd number for a staircase.

Still with his backpack from class, with a plastic bag containing a new pack of ice cream, and the papers in his one free hand, Chanyeol climbs up and knocks on the door twice. As always.

Tension and stress building inside his chest from the unease that he feels about facing Kyungsoo again after their last pretty devastating conversation. An exchange that ruined Chanyeol's life for nearly three weeks.

He hears the usual creaking of the chair, a noise he hates being used to, and the door opens in front of him.

Kyungsoo is there. Same chair, same blanket, same messy uncut hair that somehow grew even lower beneath the line of his eyes, and yet Chanyeol can feel that he's surprised. Maybe it's from the way his little fingers are gripping onto the top of his blanket covered legs.

Without wasting time, Chanyeol shoves the papers in his direction, further than usual, this time he actually presses the papers against Kyungsoo's chest and hands with his own hand, making sure he holds them, making sure Kyungsoo felt that he's there.

"I brought ice cream again. Can I come in?"

Up at him the boy continues staring, and this time his hair is such a tangle over his eyes that Chanyeol can't be sure if he's happy about the ice cream at all, his expression unreadable.

"Sure. Even without ice cream."

He replied, and Chanyeol felt like a little bit of air finally deflated from the negativity balloon. Kyungsoo would have welcomed him inside even without the ice cream. That's good. That means not all is done and maybe they'll be able to talk again.

He doesn't understand why anyone would have accepted them inside after his messup, but who is he to complain about his luck.

Not that Chanyeol cares-- well, he does, a little. He cares because not caring had harmed him more. Thinking that he doesn't care has destroyed his life for long enough.

 

  
So he stepped inside and sat down on the couch in the spot that has been his usual for the past few visits he didn't skip due to self pitying and self destructive behaviour. While settling comfortably he already saw how Kyungsoo's stretching around in his chair to reach the cabinets that contain tools to eat the ice cream with.

It's a hot day, and even though Chanyeol felt like eating ice cream would be nice, he intended for this ice cream pack to belong to Kyungsoo alone. He has eaten enough of it. He can eat ice cream whenever he wants, Kyungsoo can't.

Without realizing that he has been staring at Kyungsoo's direction intensely, he was a little surprised when the other suddenly turned to look back at him, a worried expression on his face beneath all the hair.

"Is it not good...?"

"No. I mean-- yes. This ice cream is for you."

Chanyeol awkwardly replied, vaguely gesturing towards the pack that's still resting on top of the coffee table in the living room. Luckily the apartment is somehow always colder than the outside even though there's no sound of an airconditioner working.

"Oh. Well, it's hot outside."

Kyungsoo answered right away with a tiny bit of confidence. Or maybe reassurance, Chanyeol isn't sure exactly what it is Kyungsoo's feeling because he can't see his damn eyes under all the hair. How can Kyungsoo himself see anything?

With a few more creaks of the wheelchair approaching the couch with two bowls and two spoons, Chanyeol had a feeling of deja vu to their last meeting. Three weeks ago when everything went so bad.

Somehow he felt like the situation is a little unfair. Because Chanyeol has been through hell this whole time and Kyungsoo seems... Normal. Like nothing much has changed at all. Was he suffering this entire time for nothing? Was Kyungsoo unbothered after all?

At this point it doesn't even matter. Because Chanyeol came here for his own sake, because he has to let all that's been clogging him out otherwise he won't be able to move on from his damaging change.

"Listen, Kyungsoo."

He turned towards Chanyeol, already busy loading a small portion onto his own bowl with subtle eagerness. That's somehow cute. How much does he love ice cream that he's so excited to eat it?

Focus Chanyeol. This is important.

"I thought about what you said last time. Well, more like... I couldn't not think about it."

Chanyeol continued with frustration and confusion bubbling up inside him. His muscles are tensing and he feels like he's under the same pressure one feels when flying, when the ears lock up and all you can do is hope they'll somehow unclog themselves soon.

Looking at Kyungsoo now revealed a different image from his eagerness to eat from the ice cream. The bowl and spoon are held on his blanketed lap while he looks towards Chanyeol with a hint of fear almost.

Did he come out too aggressive maybe? Was his tone too scary? Chanyeol sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair, pulling it backwards and then allowing it to fall back in place on his forehead.

"You were right. I don't like people like you. It freaks me out and makes me upset. But... You're okay. You're fine, alright? I don't like people like you, but you're kind of cool. So like..."

Now from rubbing his hair Chanyeol moved to rub his face for a little bit, struggling to put the chaos of emotions that are spiraling inside him into words. These are his true feelings, he knows it.

"I am sorry. I think... I mean, no, I'm just sorry."

There's no point denying it now. He went through hell for long enough to realize there is something else about this guy that makes his heart pump in ways Chanyeol didn't know it could. He doesn't know the reason, but it's there.

"Just, don't make these faces okay. Like, the sad ones. Don't."

His voice starts stuttering a little, and he continues even though his eyes are dancing all over the place because making eye contact while talking about his feeling is a bit too much for his not-used-to-emotions self, plus it's nearly impossible with Kyungsoo's hair.

"I hate this, ugh. I don't know what I'm saying..."

His last resort, he finally poured whatever it is that clogged his heart out. His balloon has deflated and he knows he no longer has any regrets, but there's still strong tension and nervousness inisde him that he can't seem to throw away.

To avoid further dealing with his embarrassment about the odd quite demanding confession of feelings that could have been easily told without being labled as a confession, Chanyeol just smacked both his palms on his face. Covering it fully and groaning restlessly.

 

  
It was silent for a while, except for Chanyeol huffs and tense body making some of his muscles move a little uncontrollably.

But then he heard an unfamiliar sounds coming from Kyungsoo. Another one of those things that he never knew Kyungsoo had in him. Confused and slightly worried, hoping that whatever these sounds are don't include any tears, he debated whether or not to uncover his eyes to look.

His curiousity is too great to pass on such an opportunity, and he opened both his index fingers sideways, giving his eyes spaces to look through while his face is still covered by the rest of his two palms.

Right there, near him on the chair, Kyungsoo is sitting and laughing. Pink cheeks and crescent shaped eyes and a wide smile, and his lips... His mouth is in the shape of an actual heart this time.

This is the cutest thing Chanyeol has ever seen in his life.

Kyungsoo laughing. Genuinely, honestly, it's cold inside and there is barely any sun coming from the windows and yet Kyungsoo himself is radiating brighter and hotter than it.

Slowly his hands started sliding off of his face, and a smile grew up across his own lips. Watching the boy laugh wholesomely in front of him. He felt like he has been healed. Maybe he trully has, because whatever stress that resided in his heart has vanished.

The laughter was over, but the smile remained. Both their smiles. Kyungsoo then seemed to have finally noticed Chanyeol himself was smiling, so he raised a hand and pulled the hair over his own eyes sideways.

Revealing a pair of shining crescents that look a little damper than they should.

"Hey, don't cry now, I'm glad you enjoyed my shit explanation but please."

Chanyeol broke the sudden emotional exchange of stares with the comment and leaned back against the couch with a huff, the smile still on his lips still can't be wiped away. And Kyungsoo chuckled again.

But this chuckle had turned slower, and lower, and became a little longer, until it somehow turned into small whimpers. Kyungsoo's hand dropped off from holding his hair just when Chanyeol could see the tears trickle down from the corners of his eyes.

"Oh no-- Kyungsoo, don't cry, please. I can't handle this--"

He began panicking, flailing his arms helplessly while his head began spinning around in an attempt to spot a package of tissues or something.

Kyungsoo began weeping silently, sniffling and wiping his eyes with his own fingers. His shoulders shaking and his head hunched forward to hide as much of his eyes and face as he could from Chanyeol.

Somehow he had the brilliant thought of searching on the cabinet that's located near the couch, finding a small pack of tissues, he quickly handed it to Kyungsoo, placing it on his blanketed lap, near the bowl of nearly entirely melted ice cream that's now coated with a few salty tear drops.

The boy calmed fairly quickly, using the tissues to clean himself a little before raising his head up with another slightly shaky smile towards Chanyeol's direction.

"Thank you--.. I Uhm. Nobody ever came back for me before. I'm just happy. I'm sorry. Thank you..."

Chanyeol cannot understand why, but hearing these words felt like another sting right to his heart. It made his pulse rate raise with sadness, with pain, with anger.

Why would anyone be bad to him and then just leave him like this? Kyungsoo's nice and he doesn't deserve this. Whoever's been treating him badly needs to be punished---

Wait. Chanyeol is one whole entire hypocrite. Chanyeol's intention mere three weeks ago was to never see this person again. Forget that he exists at all and move on with his life as if he had never met him in the first place.

Yet here he is, from his own selfish reasons he came to explain his issues, and Kyungsoo... Kyungsoo's heart was filled with joy? Because someone came back for him? Even if it wasn't for the sake of making Kyungsoo happy at all?

How many times has this boy been left behind and forgotten?

Chanyeol's heart clenched tightly in his chest as he watched Kyungsoo roll over to the kitchen to wash out his bowl of tear salted ice cream before rolling back to load another new small portion and actually eat it.

"Say,"

Chanyeol spoke, startling Kyungsoo and making him freeze in the middle of the action of taking a spoonfull of ice cream into his mouth.

"Is it okay if I will continue giving you the papers instead of Baekhyun?"

It was quiet for a few moments, except for Kyungsoo's little sniffle. Chanyeol's attention is directed towards his own hands loading some ice cream into his own given bowl.

"Yeah. Okay."

"Alright."

  
  
  



	7. Chapter 7

  
  


  
Chanyeol could hear the steps echoing all through the hallway, up to Jongdae and his' dorm room, and then right up to his own bedroom's door. Yesterday he's made up with Kyungsoo. Today he's sitting and allowing his virtual pet in game to harvest random items.

The knock on his door was as loud as the thumps of the steps that came up to it a moment ago, and Jongdae was already out of his room, dealing with whoever might be standing there. Chanyeol hears laughter then, alright. Must mean it's someone they know.

Lazily he pulled the headphones off and stood up from his chair, allowing the game to play by itself for a while as he came to the door and pulled it open without a warning.

In front of him stood Baekhyun, a little surprised. Behind Baekhyun stood Jongdae, who's arms were wrapped around Baekhyun's waist and his chin resting on the latter's shoulder with a smile.

"Sup."

Chanyeol caught Baekhyun by surprise that's for sure, but he quickly cleared his throat and pointed a finger up at his tall friend.

"I deserve a freakin' explanation Park Chanyeol. What were you doing yesterday? Did you actually deliver the papers yourself? Why?"

It felt almost like Baekhyun was trying to blame him for doing something bad, which he didn't do. If anything, he did something so great that within a day brought his entire life back on track. Or made it even better.

"It's fine. I got this. You can continue telling the professor you deliver the papers if you care about the shitty five points raise in grade. I'll be doing it till graduation."

Both Jongdae and Baekhyun's eyes widened from the bold statement. He spoke carelessly, yet with arrogant confidence of sorts. Like he's hiding a secret that only he knows about. Like he's better than anyone else.

"Wow. Okay. What the hell."

Baekhyun turned his head sideways towards Jongdae, and the other did the same, looking at each other with suspicion for a while before stepping back and allowing Chanyeol to pass by them towards their dorm room's kitchen.

"I'm definitely missing something, but heck, if you agree to do this I'm not going to complain."

He continued on, following after Chanyeol towards the kitchen while Jongdae's still wrapped around him lazily. Chanyeol just shrugged and pulled out a small snack out of their secret sweets stash in the hight cabinet.

A moment later he threw the snack at Baekhyun who caught it surprised. Chanyeol feels good. Chanyeol feels really good. Because Kyungsoo in the back of his head feels good. And Kyungsoo deserves to feel as best as possible and therefore things are okay.

It's a lot easier to get along with himself now after he has accepted that there is some sort of a heart in him. Something that still has human remains of an emotion called 'Caring'. Which Chanyeol never knew existed within him.

He's got it. This time and every time, Chanyeol's got it. He'll continue delivering papers to Kyungsoo in exchange of... Well, of being with Kyungsoo? Which is the weirdest benefit Chanyeol thought he'd want to have.

There is just something else about that boy that Chanyeol simply cannot unhook from. Maybe it was the fact that he was exposed to the entire process of Kyungsoo's hair growth for example.

Starting with it barely touching his eyebrows on the first day they met, and now who knows how many, many weeks later, the hair is nearly passing his nose.

It's definitely not the neighbourhood, or the creaking chair, but it could be Kyungsoo's gentle way of talking. It could be the effort he puts out in order to satisfy Chanyeol's requests.

Actually, Chanyeol had realized after yesterday that he has been much more of an asshole than he knew. He had a pretty deep discussion with Jongdae about the whole situation. His angelic friend called him out on his behaviour and save him a bit of his own opinion, balancing out Chanyeol's swaying heart between the selfishness and the selflessness.

He kept asking Kyungsoo for things that to a normal person like him would be easy to fulfill, but for Kyungsoo's limited movement are quite difficult and challenging. Until yesterday, he didn't even realize he had been doing it.

But he told himself that he'll be more careful. Chanyeol hates thinking about the wheelchair, but he doesn't really hate thinking about Kyungsoo. It came to the point where he was wondering if he should offer help doing certain things when he visits.

That's how far he's come now. After having some sense talked into him.

Baekhyun has no choice but accept the fact that Chanyeol is taking over the role. Jongdae seems to be supportive though, he's the one who pushed Chanyeol to act out on his own struggles and make it up with the boy.

 

  
\--

 

  
Delivery day's here, Chanyeol's in front of the door, already knocked, already carrying a plastic bag containing two bottles of random juices he stopped to buy on his way. Already holding the papers in his other hand when Kyungsoo opened the door.

Still with the hair on his face and eyes, he looks messy compared to the cleaniness of the entire apartment or his own neatly wrapped blanket around the lower half of his body. But he's smiling, and that's all that matters.

Almost naturally, he steps inside and sits down at his usual couch spot, watching how Kyungsoo's raising his arms up high in order to reach a top cabinet that shelves the glasses. Then he rolls and creaks back to the living room.

The two of them share refreshing glasses of juice, talk a little bit about school and their projects, and even watch TV for a while. There is no awkwardness between them anymore even if Chanyeol still sometimes feels like the chair is giving him the creeps.

Thanks to his massive improvement during the single week that passed after his quick recovery of contact with Kyungsoo, Chanyeol had also realized that this year he's going to have to work harder when it comes to studying.

He explained to Kyungsoo how normally he'd wait until the very last minute with anything school related, then binge study really hard for three days and still pass with an A. It seems the boy was shocked to know that.

It's probably the exact opposite way of handling it than Kyungsoo would have chosen. So he must be surprised. But he admitted that he doesn't really enjoy studying himself. He didn't mention why, but Chanyeol thinks it might have a lot to do with the fact that he's all alone.

Chanyeol couldn't stay for too long this visit, because he needs to actually begin the studying process way ahead of time in order to catch up to all the weeks he wasted himself away due to the emotional wreck he's become after the conflict with Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol couldn't stay for long because he had another meeting to get to. Or rather, a meeting to avoid. He's tired of helping whatever it is his student friend does with his money before it's being returned. Nothing good can come out of it.

But the boy greeted him goodbye warmly, and really meant it when he said 'Good Luck'. So he will have good luck. Chanyeol will make sure of it.

 

  
\--

 

  
Another week had passed and Chanyeol's hopping up the stairs almost as if they lead to his own home. Humming to himself a song that's been stuck in his head because Jongdae just wouldn't stop singing it around their dorm.

He knocked twice and even clicked his fingers along with the creak of Kyungsoo's chair approaching the door since it somehow fit into the beat of the song.

Still with a long messy hair, still with a small yet content smile, still with the blanket wrapped neatly around his lower body, Kyungsoo opened the door, already standing a pretty large distance behind so Chanyeol would be able to enter without waiting.

Chanyeol continued clicking his fingers while stepping in, half wiggling his body with an imaginary music playing in the background until he finally fell down onto his usual spot on the couch and stretched his arms with a groan.

When he finally turned and looked at Kyungsoo he could see the other's bright smile and amusement while rolling himself closer.

They are friends now. They are more than just strangers, more than just classmates. They know each other. They are compatible and they actually enjoy each other's company whenever Chanyeol comes to visit.

Chanyeol has been thinking for a while that it's a shame that he's the one responsible for keeping in contact with Kyungsoo since the boy simply is unable to connect with anyone that doesn't come to him directly.

It was a little bothersome for him at first, he felt like it's unfair for a bit during the week, but eventually his brain managed to go through the mature logical thinking process.

He realized that even though such a situation can easily be precieved as if Kyungsoo doesn't care about him, reality says otherwise. Kyungsoo always takes good care of him and his needs when he arrives.

Always caters to his requests even if Chanyeol's still slightly careless about what he wants and somtimes tasks Kyungsoo with missions that make him feel bad for asking because of how much effort he has to put into completing them.

This time, Chanyeol came with more than just papers for Kyungsoo. While his seated friend read over the papers with interest, he pulled out a whole stash of studying material. They are classmates after all, therefore they should be able to study the same subject together.

He pulled out three books, two notebooks and a whole binder with endless essays, lecture papers and works.

"Whoa, you brought everything?"

Kyungsoo looked at the spreaded out study material on the table and ran his fingers over a few of the papers just to examine them a little further.

"I'll bring mine too!"

He then declared and rolled himself into the hallway, somehow fitting the chair exactly in the right angle so that neither of its wide sides would scratch against the wall that looks like it has been scratched by the chair's metal for years.

A moment later he returned with a few books and notebooks himself and placed them right beside Chanyeol's items with a small smile.

"I know I'm kinda falling on you with this out of nowhere, but let's study together. I actually.. Uhm. I kinda missed the last three weeks because I was being a piece of shit, so I need a little help."

Chanyeol admitted, rubbing the back of his head a little nervously. Not because he was worried about Kyungsoo's thoughts about it, but because he felt like an idiot for being such a stubborn fool and causing this mess for himself.

 

  
In the end it went well though.

Because Kyungsoo laughed happily before rolling himself even closer to Chanyeol's spot on the couch and nodding with a wide smile. Of course he would. Of course Kyungsoo would love to study with someone.

Chanyeol should take advantage of this and learn as much as he can. Even though Kyungsoo himself admitted he isn't really one to enjoy school, or studying, he must know more about the subject than Chanyeol who missed most of it.

Kyungsoo went along, he helped Chanyeol with everything he couldn't understand. Explaining patiently and calmly even if he himself had to sometimes check in the book for the details he was explaining about.

Clearly the both of them aren't that far apart when it comes to this. But it felt nice. It was comfortable and pleasant.

The only thing that Chanyeol noticed while they were studying, is the fact that Kyungsoo continously struggles to keep the hair away from his face. Pulling it behind his ears until it slips back, trying to brush it backwards with his fingers, but yet again it keeps falling back.

"Hey, maybe you should like, tie it somehow. Your hair I mean."

He eventually couldn't hold back from suggesting, because Kyungsoo's constantly fiddle with it made him feel a little restless himself.

"Oh, that's actually a good idea."

His host blinked a little surprised. Did he really not think about this himself until now? Does he do everything he does while constantly battling with his hair? Well. Good thing Chanyeol was there to let him know it's a possibility.

Fairly quickly the boy rolled away, coming back a few moments later with the front of his hair tied upwards in a silly looking ponytail that comes straight above his forehead.

Unable to contain himself, Chanyeol burst out in laughter from the entertaining sight, but holy damn it was adorable. And at the moment his eyes landed on Kyungsoo's face right beneath the source of laughter, he didn't feel like laughing so much anymore.

Kyungsoo was smiling warmly, his eyes shining and bright behind the thick rimmed glasses, his lips curved upwards in a grin, his cheeks reflecting light brightly with a thin layer of blush, and his forehead finally exposed for the first time was as smooth as the rest of his skin.

What a sight. Kyungsoo looks so young and clean that it's almost like Chanyeol's taking care of a very independent big baby.

They studied together for hours. Peacefully, calmly. Just enjoying each other's company. As much as Chanyeol knew that Kyungsoo was probably never even able to study with anybody else before, he felt like this was a new experience for him too.

Chanyeol would have studied all of this on his own, locked in his room and not letting go of the books and notes for hours and hours on end. But now with Kyungsoo's slow breathing pattern next to him he doesn't even sense the stress.

 

  
All things come to an end.

In this case, good things. Because Chanyeol really enjoyed himself, and completely forgot that Kyungsoo was stuck on cranky old chair inside this apartment until the moment he realized the sun was no longer shining from the window.

"Thanks for today buddy. Helped me a bunch."

He smiled down at Kyungsoo, standing by the door with his backpack containing all of the notes and book that he brought with him hours ago. The boy's hair still tied up in the funny looking rubber on top of his forehead.

"No, thank you. Chanyeol. It was a lot of fun to study together. Really."

Kyungsoo beamed back at him, now the sparkles in his eyes are visible, and Chanyeol feels a little taken aback by just how beautiful Kyungsoo can be when he's truly happy. He's never been hit with such a large amount of pureness before.

"I'll see you soon then."

Chanyeol greeted and waved him goodbye, stepping down all thirty seven steps. As he started walking further away from the building he could see that the door up on the third floor was still open for a while. Even if he couldn't see Kyungsoo from down below.

A moment after the door had finally closed, a car drove past him on the street and parked right under under the building. Oh. He's never seen anybody else that lives in this building before. Is it one of Kyungsoo's neighbours?

Out of curiousity that Chanyeol couldn't prevent himself from having even though not long ago he would have considered such desire stupid since he 'Didn't care', he remained standing in the street to watch.

A short middle aged woman stepped out of the car, unloading a bunch of plastic bags containing what looks like groceries from his point of view, and carrying all of them together in her arms as she started climbing up the stairs.

Alright, so she isn't from the first floor. Not the second either... Does she live right next to Kyungsoo's apartment?

Surprised, Chanyeol realized the woman knocked on the door of the apartment he had just left. Even while being on the ground, three floors below, he could hear Kyungsoo's chair creaking as he made it to the door and opened it again.

The woman entered, the door closed, and all Chanyeol could assumed was that this woman could be none other than Kyungsoo's mother.

 

  
\--

 

  
The next week Chanyeol arrives, he's carrying the backpack filled with studying material, and a plastic bag containing a bunch of snacks he decided to purchase for their shared study session for the day.

There are no more lessons he needs to attend, because now all of the material has been given out, and in one week's time the final exam of their subject will be taking place in the university. So Chanyeol came a little earlier than normal.

It didn't seem to surprise Kyungsoo though, because he gladly opened the door after the usual two knocks, and even had his hair already tied up in the little rubber to reveal his eyes and forehead to the world.

Instantly, Chanyeol began laughing from seeing the cheerful grin on his classmate's face, and stepped inside, spreading the sheets and also the supply of snacks all over the coffee table in the living room. Their usual hangout spot.

One thing kept haunting him during this week though. Kyungsoo's mother. He tried his best to focus while they began reading through the summaries of the subjects they were supposed to learn for the exam, but it kept bugging him.

The exam next week is supposed to be taken inside the university. But Kyungsoo is... Well, unable to get there. How will he do the exam? What did he study all this time for if he won't be able to reach there and take the final? Will someone come to test him specifically?

Not that he minds that much. He realized that he cares about Kyungsoo, but not enough to break his head over speculations and theories of what would happen if, when and where. It's pointless.

While lying backwards all over the length of the couch, his feet towards Kyungsoo's direction beside the coffee table, Chanyeol stared at him for a while, seeing how his eyes are running over the pages he's reading.

"I know it's a random question but... How are you going to take the exam?"

Kyungsoo finished reading the line he began reading before finally turning to look at Chanyeol's direction, only now realizing the giant's feet were pretty close to his location. With a small pout he gave them a glance before rolling a little sideways to keep his distance from the possible discomfort.

"Just like every year. My parents are taking a day off of work to bring me over to the University. The other exams the professor comes to test me on his own.. But since it's a final..."

"Oh wow."

"Yeah."

The two kept looking at each other for a while, neither of them sure if the other has anything else to say about it. Chanyeol decided to drop the subjects, and turned to look back at the book resting on top of his chest.

So he was half correct, but also wrong. It's actually pretty neat of the professor to spare the time and make Kyungsoo feel a little more connected by visiting to test him out. Chanyeol never realized that things like this even happen.

Hell, Chanyeol never knew that paraplegic people like Kyungsoo even study at all. Until not long ago he was sure they are all lowlives who are just a burden on society.

It's better to not dwell in this too much. Kyungsoo will come to university for the exam at the cost of a whole day of work that his parents will be missing. That's a little unfair. Why would they have to get paid less just because of Kyungsoo while students like Chanyeol himself don't even need to talk to their parents. Let alone make them miss an entire day of work.

After a while, Chanyeol managed to focus his efforts back into the studying material, but once he made it back to the dorm that evening, he kept thinking about the lack of justice from the situation.

Shouldn't the school itself worry about every single one of their students? As much as it is the students' responsibility to participate in exams on their own, shouldn't the system provide at least a little bit of assistance?

Or maybe just like Chanyeol himself used to be, the system doesn't care because some people are just worth less than others?

Ugh, just thinking about it makes him feel sick to the stomach. The same reaction he used to have to thinking about restricted people like Kyungsoo himself, is now coming to him from thinking about the injustice that is being done to people like Kyungsoo himself.

What a turn. Chanyeol has really matured. Kind of. Maybe. He isn't sure. He's still sitting and playing his virtual games right now, right after coming back from studying with Kyungsoo.

Maybe something can be done, though.

  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

  
  


  
So they've been meeting to study for two weeks now, on the same day of the week as the previous lecture papers delivery day. It was no longer necessary to deliver any papers since they have no more class until the exam takes place though. Which makes this journey a whole lot more meaningful for the both of them, or at least to Chanyeol. He can only hope Kyungsoo feels the same.

A hot morning's light is making its way over Chanyeol's face and head through the window while he stares at himself in the mirror hung on the wall of his bedroom. Somehow, magically, he doesn't look as tired anymore.

There are no heavy dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep, or lack of energy in general. It's true that his sleeping hours haven't changed much, but the amount of time he spends doing productive things in his waking hours has grown.

So while he feels more content with his activities, his body must be feeling the relief and behaving accordingly too. Which is great, because he looks damn fantastic. Back in shape, back with his darkened sun kissed skin.

Trailing fingers over his own head Chaneyol came to the realization that his hair could definitely use some reshaping, maybe a new perm or a fresh cut. That'd be nice. He could surprise Kyungsoo the next time he comes over.

Wait, Kyungsoo, hair. Kyungsoo is in dire need of a haircut. Especially after the adorably stupid way he had to tie his hair for the past two meetups. And even if today isn't their usual meeting day of the week, nothing is stopping Chanyeol.

Actually, something is stopping Chanyeol. What if Kyungsoo is busy and wouldn't be able to go with him? What if he'll pop and disturb something important? What if Kyungsoo doesn't even want to see him on other days at all?

Wait...

Wait a moment once again. Since when does Chanyeol worry this much about what might be happening with anybody else? Why is he so worried he might be causing trouble to someone?

Realizing that his mind and level of matureness has developed so much that he actually cares and worries about his relationship with another person is actually incredible. It's quite amazing on it's own, but when that person is none other than Kyungsoo, a person Chanyeol never in his life would have wanted to even walk on the same side of the street as, this achievement is twice as great.

How busy can Kyungsoo possibly be, doing things... Well, only in the same apartment. How many years has he been stuck in that apartment in a row? How often does he come out?

Chanyeol has endless questions regarding his friend. He actually wants to know something about someone else. He wants to hear it all and understand it all and see Kyungsoo be himself. And happy. Definitely happy.

He shouldn't worry too much. As bad as it is of him to think, now that he's aware that thoughts he is thinking might actually be offensive and pretty cruel, he knows that the one thing he can be confident about is Kyungsoo's desire to see Chanyeol too.

The chances of him being so busy with something he won't be able to stop are very low, while the chances of him wanting to see Chanyeol and spend time with him are clearly at the very high precentage of plausibility.

Chanyeol might actually be dealing with new feelings and struggles regarding his new aquired trait of 'care' but his confidence and self worth suffered no change in the process. So he can easily give himself enough credit to be secure about knowing Kyungsoo would be happy seeing him unexpectedly.

Right?

He wonders yet again, his long legs already leading him out of the university and towards the familiar old neighbourhood that doesn't feel like anything negative anymore.

A haircut is a good opportunity to bond a little more. It's also the perfect timing, because if according to Kyungsoo's explanation he will be getting to university to take the final exam with everyone else, Kyungsoo needs to look proper.

Coming to the university with the cute yet goofy looking hairtie right above his forehead might not be the best choice of fashion. It's obvious that Kyungsoo will be receiving quite a lot of attention once he gets there.

Not that he looks bad or anything like that, he's still occupying the top of the 'Smash' side list of Chanyeol's very shallow and simple Smash or Pass separation process he goes through with every person he sees.

Even if half of Kyungsoo's entire body is still a mystery to Chanyeol, the hidden blanketed half, he'll be more than satisfied with the half he's already familiar with.

Taking Kyungsoo out to get a haircut actually means he will have to be the one making sure Kyungsoo not only leaves the house safely, but also returns in one piece.

Chanyeol's steps slowed down a little with worry he still isn't used to containing. Will he be able to do it? If both of Kyungsoo's parents need to remain at home during the day of the exam to take him to the university, does it mean the task of taking him out is so taxing it requires two people?

Well, Chanyeol's strong. He'll be able to carry Kyungsoo and even his chair together at the same time if he needs to. Hopefully it wouldn't get to that, because even if his muscles will stand up to the task, his back might not.

Maybe he should have done his research beforehand... But at the same time, since when does he bother himself so much with preparations for anything? It'll be just fine. He's always able to improvise something out of nothing when the hour calls.

 

  
Thirty seven steps up the stairs and Chanyeol's taking a breath in order to calm himself down. It's hot outside, uncomfortably so, but he's going to be totally fine with sweating a little if it means getting Kyungsoo to finally cut his mess of a hair after all the months he watched it grow.

Knocking twice he hoped that the recognizable symbol of himself appearing at Kyungsoo's door will be clear. Of course he was a little curious whether or not Kyungsoo would be home at all. But a few slow creaking sounds of the familiar chair could be heard behind the door and he knew he can breathe in relief.

Unlike usual, the door was unlocked and opened slowly, warily, only a thin gap opened between the doorframe and the pulled back door, Kyungsoo's messy hair and thick glasses peeking behind the door at the unexpected guest.

"Chanyeol?"

After a few moments of silent blinking in Chanyeol's direction, he grinned and waved at Kyungsoo cheerfully.

"Yo!"

A bright obvious shine sparked in Kyungsoo's half hidden eyes and the door almost flung open beside him, widely revealing the entrance to the apartment, along with the excited smile that grew on his classmate's face.

"What are you doing here? Are there more papers? I thought there weren't any classes until the exam? Did you come to study with me again?"

He began shooting out wondering questions at Chanyeol pretty quickly, not really giving him any time to respond. By the end of the last question though, Kyungsoo's entire body straightened up in his chair with happiness.

How could Chanyeol even doubt Kyungsoo. How could he imagine that Kyungsoo might not want to see him? The connection of their friendship depends on Chanyeol's initiative, sadly, but he shouldn't feel discouraged because of it anymore.

He now knows that Kyungsoo's more than thrilled to have him around no matter for what reason. What a boost in confidence this is, but also a boost of warmth into his already hot heart from spending time outside under the sun.

"Nope! I came for something way cooler. But you have to promise me you'll agree."

Chanyeol teased, smiling down at Kyungsoo with a hint of mischief while crossing his arms. He's just messing with the boy, there's nothing special or amazing about getting a haircut really. It'll simply be more fun that way.

Kyungsoo was clearly surprised from having Chanyeol there at all, and even more now that he came with a possibly mischiveous offer of an activity for the two of them to partake in. Chanyeol could almost see how the gears in Kyungsoo's head began spinning to calculate an answer.

His face started going serious as well. This is definitely not what Chanyeol intended. He laughed warmly and waved a hand at Kyungsoo's direction, dismissing what sorts of possibly sincere thoughts formed.

"I'm just joking, don't get so serious, I'm here to take you out for a haircut. I saw my hair this morning and decided to get one. Then it reminded me of the nest on your head."

The seated boy sighed with relief and chuckled lightly, running a hand over his head, pulling a few hairs away from his eyes, only to allow them to fall back right after when the fingers stopped holding them away.

He smiled, but the smile started fading away slowly the longer he thought about it. Very gently he tugged to his own covered lower half of the body and averted his eyes downwards.

"I probably shouldn't."

"What are you talking about? Of course you should! It keeps falling into your eyes every moment. Must be annoying."

Chanyeol shrugged and protested right away. Why was Kyungsoo's happiness slowly draining out of him? Was it a bad decision to offer him such an adventure? Chanyeol just thought it'd be a useful event to take advantage of, since he's going to be out anyway.

"Yes, it is but.. It's too much trouble to get me outside. I don't want to burden you. You don't like these things."

Kyungsoo admitted, looking back up at Chanyeol with a small smile that's attempting to seem normal, but it was clear that there was a lot of sadness behind the slightly shaking corners of his lips.

Well, Chanyeol came prepared. Kind of. At least mentally prepared for the process of getting Kyungsoo out of the apartment and into the rest of the world. Who knows how long it's been since he left the place?

From the constant growth of his hair ever since they met for the first time, it might as well be as long as all of these long hot months, or even before. Since it was Baekhyun who took care of the paper delivery originally.

"Hey, it's fine. Just tell me how to do it. Do you not trust my fabulous biceps?"

Chanyeol reassured him with gentle confidence, and then changed his standing position. He pulled one of his sleeves up and exposed his entire arm, flexing it while grinning down at his friend with pride.

It was quiet. He expected at least a little bit of a reaction, but when he opened his eyes from the satisfied grin all he saw was Kyungsoo's nearly shocked expression staring at him with absolute awe.

Maybe it was just the heat, but Chanyeol thought he saw a thin hue of pink wash over Kyungsoo's cheeks as well. His mouth slightly agape while he just sat there and breathed, taking the sight in.

"Well?"

"A-Ah--! Uhm--.. I trust them.. yeah. Uh..."

Kyungsoo was startled out of his state of trance and quickly turned his head aside, rubbing the back of his neck while forcing out small fake laughters to avoid awkwardness.

God. He is so obvious. Chanyeol couldn't have been happier to know he's still got it. He's still as hot as he takes himself to be. His ego definitely inflated a little by knowing he makes even this cute kid blush.

Anybody who'd be admiring his looks would help his self-assurance, it's not anything special that in this case the person who does it is Kyungsoo. Maybe a little because they're friends, but nothing else.

 

  
After a little while longer of attempts to persuade Kyungsoo to agree, he really did. Good. Now Chanyeol will get to see how his actual face looks like when he's groomed properly. The way he deserves.

Through Kyungsoo's direct instructions, even though it was a little hard for Chanyeol to contain due to the general discomfort he still senses deep inside regarding the lack of mobility, he was able to do it.

The first stage in the process of getting him out of the apartment, is to take him off of the chair onto another sitting surface. The couch did the trick, Kyungsoo basically moved onto it by himself once he unbuckled the old belt from around himself.

The second stage is taking the chair itself down the stairs to wait for them down on the street. Easy. The chair is made of a thin hollow aluminum structure, with a seat stretching along made of old looking combination of plastic and leather.

Chanyeol easily grabbed it in his hands and put it down in the street, right by the stairs. A few people who ended up somehow walking down the same road were giving him and the chair curious yet cold looks.

The third stage is taking Kyungsoo himself down to the chair. Now this part was a little more interesting to put in action, at least in Chanyeol's opinion.

After climbing back up to Kyungsoo, he stood in front of him for a while, wondering with himself what would be the most appropriate way to pick him up which would be comfortable for them both in the path down the stairs.

Noticing his struggle, Kyungsoo just reached his arms upwards at Chanyeol, looking at him with a completely neutral expression. Chanyeol kneeled down and allowed Kyungsoo to wrap his arms around his neck and shoulders, clinging tightly.

It was not exactly a hug, most definitely not a hug actually, but the feeling of Kyungsoo holding onto him tight and firm was so fulfilling. With a small smile his classmate couldn't see, Chanyeol carefully held around his waist, surprised from how thin he is underneath the layers of clothes and blankets.

Without much struggle Chanyeol's second arm slid under Kyungsoo's legs which were still covered by the blanket. He froze for a little while. Eyes wide.

Kyungsoo's legs.. They are.. So light. So thin. Even from above the fabric of Kyungsoo's trousers, Chanyeol could feel how boney they were. It feels strange. It sends odd cold tingles up his spine, but there is nothing he can do about it now. He has to accept it.

While lifting the boy up in his arms a lot more easily than he initially expected, he already turned out of the apartment. Allowing Kyungsoo to lock the door in his arms. He could feel Kyungsoo's chest, and hear his breathing right next to his ear.

Kyungsoo is so small. Small and fragile, and Chanyeol has so much power in his hands to lend him and make him so much more powerful. He's so cute, yet he's so miserable. These two things just don't seem to fit together in Chanyeol's dictionary.

Stage four was easier, all he needed to do was place Kyungsoo properly in the chair. He stood, a little struck from the experience of carrying him down the stairs, and watched how Kyungsoo buckled himself up, fixed his legs' positioning and covered them with the blanket again. Proper and neat.

Nobody would have guessed just how vulnerable Kyungsoo really is. Chanyeol felt like he was exposed to something he wasn't supposed to see or know of. Once the ordeal was done Kyungsoo finally made eye contact with him again, catching him startled.

"I'm sorry, it must have been hard."

He apologized immediately, looking down at his own blanketed legs with utter shame and helplessness. Now that he's stuck down there, if Chanyeol decides to leave him he really will be helpless. Until his parents arrive home at least.

A whole new world suddenly opened in front of Chanyeol's eyes, and heart. Chanyeol hates responsibility. He hates knowing that any of his actions might affect any other people. And now he realized that by taking Kyungsoo out like this, the boy's under his charge.

His well being now depends on Chanyeol's care. It was a heavier weight to carry than it was to carry Kyungsoo himself down the stairs.

"No. It was strange... But it's fine. You're really light. Do you eat enough?"

Chanyeol admitted, calmly. He didn't want to alarm Kyungsoo and possibly make him feel like the burden he already thinks he is. Something in Chanyeol just clicked, and realized just how stupid his 'fear' of him was before.

The old Chanyeol would have stood up right there and left. Not even blinking in Kyungsoo's direction even if it means the boy would have to wait downstairs under his very own house the entire day for someone to help him.

Good thing he's not the old Chanyeol anymore. Good thing that this boy has changed him. Rather than worrying about how he'll bring Kyungsoo back to his home, Chanyeol made sure to let Kyungsoo understand he's more concerned with his eating habits.

Even with the honest answer Kyungsoo didn't seem to be convinced Chanyeol was serious, so he had to step closer to his classmate and tap his shoulder gently.

"Hey, it's fine. I told you it'd be easy. You're lucky I work out."

Chanyeol winked down at Kyungsoo, who finally agreed to let out a little smile of approval.

 

  
They didn't really speak on the way to the hair salon located not far away. Chanyeol walked on the edge between the road and the pavement, while Kyungsoo rolled himself on with his arms. Creaking with each spin of the wheels. He didn't dare to raise his head and look at anybody around them.

Chanyeol didn't really mind. He didn't feel any shame walking around Kyungsoo or anything like that at all. He didn't want to get too deep into the thoughts about the moment either, because even to Chanyeol's blunt carefree mind it's obvious Kyungsoo's very ashamed.

What could he do in order to change it and help? Maybe it's the creaking of the chair that half grabs people's attention in their direction more than they normally would have spared for them if they were quiet.

Or maybe all of them are just as terrible as old-Chanyeol to be judgemental pieces of shits about Kyungsoo's forced state of being. Either way, he was glad he didn't have to push Kyungsoo around himself, because it was hot.

So hot and bright that when he looked down to check on his buddy from time to time he'd nearly get dazzled by just how pale and white his skin was. Poor boy, it looks unhealthy. Really, how long as it been since he stepped outside? He looks like a ghost. Especially with the thick glasses and messy way-too-long hair.

Eventually, while Chanyeol's mind wandered around subjects as if skipping between rocks on a lake in his head, they made it to the known salon where Chanyeol's great friend works even before he started being a university student.

The son of one of Chanyeol's father's most trusted workers.

"Junmyeonie!!"

He shouted fearlessly while blasting the salon's door open, a wide grin spread across his lips. Right after the action that grabbed the attention of every single one of the salon's visitors and workers, he stood with the door open to allow Kyungsoo easy access inside.

His shy classmate rolled inside slowly, creaking lightly into a halt next to Chanyeol, who quickly left his side in order to rush forward towards the man who just popped his head out from the back door of the salon.

"Chanyeollie!!"

Chanyeol's old friend shouted back with just as much gathered excitement and with a roar of happy weird callings the two ran to each other and hugged tightly, squeezing impossibly hard, until Chanyeol began coughing from the choke of his unexpectedly strong little friend.

"Welcome back! I see you've brought us a special guest today~"

His soft eyed short friend exclaimed warmly and walked straight towards Kyungsoo, reaching his hand out for a shake.

Chanyeol watched how they greeted each other, and when Junmyeon walked back to him with a raised eyebrow he knew there were many questions he needs to answer until his friend will be free to properly style Kyungsoo.

"Isn't this the boy you told me you never want to see again in your life before?"

Junmyeon asked him quietly, and Chanyeol cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head.

"Kinda. I guess. But now I want to see him all the time, so he might as well see me as well. Ya know."

He teased, making a small gag out of unsuspecting Kyungsoo's eye covering long hair. Along with this little comment he also turned his head back to check on his friend. Sitting quietly and staring at himself in the mirror right next to an actual salon chair.

Chanyeol sighed lightly and turned back to Junmyeon who was already preparing the need items for the haircut, humming to himself.

"Make him happy yeah? I think he hasn't been out of his own house for months."

"With that haircut? Definitely. Also, do you actually doubt my skills? Just get next to him, Sehun will take care of your mess."

Junmyeon replied quickly and sassily, shutting down any option for Chanyeol to answer anything other than a warm laughter. He stepped back to Kyungsoo and moved the salon chair sideways, helping Kyungsoo position himself right in front of the mirror before sitting down to the station beside him.

The two of them exchanged a small smile before the cloaks have been clicked around their necks and their styling has began.

 

  
It was a pleasant experience, Junmyeon, Chanyeol and even Sehun with their subtle encouragements and praises made Kyungsoo smile more than once, even laugh a few times, as Chanyeol watched Kyungsoo's big wonder filled eyes finally getting the exposure they deserve.

Luckily Junmyeon was kind enough to allow Chanyeol to pay for the both of them next time he comes around. Chanyeol knew in case anything related to money would be involved Kyungsoo will probably begin stressing again.

On their way back to Kyungsoo's apartment he was in a much better mood, actually looking around the town without hiding himself and his face down at the ground even while his chair kept creaking with every spin of the wheels.

Kyungsoo is beautiful.

Chanyeol already knew he was, but now that his face has the space to shine out it comes as a very obvious reminder to one of their very first meetings where he rated Kyungsoo as an ultimate Smash.

His eyes are bright and big and shining, with the glasses he really looks adorable. His cheeks are round and highlighted by the natural light coming from the sun, his lips are pink and plump and shaped like a heart.

Clearly, Chanyeol already thought he was one hell of an adorable boy. But with this easy transformation he was now standing on a whole new level of attractive.

Chanyeol kept teasing Kyungsoo as they made their way together towards the old building. Joking about how he'll be getting all the ladies at university when he comes to do the exams.

Just like he expected, Kyungsoo became shy and bashful, blushing and chuckling with honest humility. Unlike Chanyeol who is so used to being pampered by everyone who ever lays eyes on him about his appearance.

But seeing how modest and embarrassed Kyungsoo gets when even the most simple compliment is going his way made him realize that this boy probably receives little to no praises. Ever. Who would give them to him if he's stuck inside all alone?

He's so fantastic and cute, Chanyeol just can't help but become happy when seeing him shy out like this. It was sad to suddenly be aware of the fact that getting complimented is something new to him, but it was such a sight.

A sight that made Chanyeol's own heart beat faster without his knowledge inside his chest. It must be the hot weather, right? It must happen because they have been walking for a while, right?

Getting Kyungsoo back up into his apartment was a little easier now that Chanyeol was more familiar with Kyungsoo's hold around his neck and the still surprising light weight of the body.

This time around the first stage was to get Kyungsoo out of his chair and into the apartment. It took no effort out of Chanyeol to do. Carrying his small body up the thirty seven steps was simple.

The strange sensation of holding Kyungsoo's legs was still present, it was weird and felt a little wrong, like he's breaching a line he shouldn't even know exists.

Inside the house he layed Kyungsoo down to sit on the couch before carrying the chair itself back up again. Kyungsoo pulled onto the chair and buckled up on top of it by himself, fixing and legs and blanket neatly.

Their goodbye was easy and simple, Kyungsoo was wonderful. He was so much more than anything Chanyeol has ever seen in anybody. This small boy in his big chair have turned Chanyeol's head upside down. In the best way possible.

"Thank you, Chanyeol. It feels much better. I can see so well!"

"Duh."

Chanyeol rolled his eyes playfully in return, allowing the both of them to chuckle for a while before very gently patting Kyungsoo's shoulder one more time.

"I'll be seeing you very soon then. You'll be in uni for the exam, right? I'll find you."

Kyungsoo nodded with brightly shining eyes and waved at him until the moment they were no longer in each other's line of sight.

 

  
Mere minutes later, on Chanyeol's calm and content walk back to his own dorm in the university, he felt his phone buzzing in his jeans' pocket. A ringtone he hated hearing no matter how many years he had to get used to it.

With a grim sigh, yet with a hope that this call will still not be bad enough to ruin his uplifted mood from seeing Kyungsoo's happiness portrayed all over his now visible face, Chanyeol picked up.

"The fuck do you want, Chris."

He spoke right away, fast and impatient. He has no time for his stupid 'friend' Chris Lee. The one bulky guy in university that had failed so many semesters in a row he's basically become a permanent student.

Well known to all of the professors and university staffs due to his nasty behaviour towards anything, and anyone. The only reason they even have a connection at all is because Chanyeol lent him some money in order to purchase a few 'items' years ago, when he didn't know what mess he was getting himself into.

Now he is considered an honorary friend to Chris Lee and his gang of bullies who terrorize the poor youngsters of university who can't afford to raise a voice against them.

"We were supposed to meet at the PC cafe like an hour ago dude. Hurry up."

Oh. Right. Another exchange of currency was supposed to be taking place today. Chanyeol completely forgot about it. Well, not really, he made himself forget it on purpose because he simply hates being involved with them, even if some still consider him a 'Bad Guy' just like them.

He doesn't care much. None of these people matter. His own safety does though. And so he shouldn't be taking too many risks.

"My bad, forgot about it. Won't be able to make it today."

He attempted to explain as nonchalantly as possible.

"Won't make it for me, but you make it to the hair salon right on time? Hmm?"

Chanyeol's steps have ceased while his eyes widened. How...? How does Chris know about him going to the hair salon? There's no chance in the world that Junmyeon or Sehun are somehow connected to him.

"...What?"

"Don't worry pal, my boys are watching over you. You're an honorary ally, remember? Won't want you to get in trouble."

His voice was dark and cold. Something dry and brutal just like his personality. Just like his appearance which Chanyeol hoped he'll be able to forget if he hasn't seen him for long enough.

"That's fucking creepy. Fine. I'll get there, you better compliment my new haircut though or no exchange."

Chanyeol attempted to bury his own exposed behaviour down under a layer of some half hearted joke. Luckily, it worked, because Chris laughed into the line before humming with approval and hanging up.

Shit. Let's hope his 'boys' didn't say anything about Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol will be safe because he's rich and is part of the favourites, but Kyungsoo would be in trouble in case Chris will declare him a problem. How has he gone to the Do household all these months without a trace?

Whatever.

He turned around on his own steps and changed direction towards the mentioned PC cafe. No point keeping his mind occupied with anything else while he's around that guy.

  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

  
  


  
Swimming. He's swimming now. Fast. Instead of a bird in the sky or a horse in a field, Chanyeol is some sort of water creature. It's impossible for him to turn his body around in order to catch a glimpse of what exactly, but it feels nice.

It's beautiful down under the sea with the sun rays shining and breaking at the surface, illuminating pieces of gathered colorful coral sections where hundreds of small fish are rushing around.

Out of curiousity, Chanyeol swam closer to the coral, quietly, peacefully, easily flowing through the gentle waves. But the closer he approached the beautiful view the further away the little fish swam to hide.

Floating lightly above the beautiful aquatic garden, Chanyeol was able to see his own shadow being cast down on the edgy surface beneath him. He's large, gigantic, a pointy small triangular nose, a large body and two wide pectoral fins on each side.

He's a shark.

Chanyeol loves sharks. They're just out there trying to survive while millions of imbecile people fear their harmless natural behaviour because of some douche that decided to make a movie about sharks being evil.

Suddenly, there's a sound of a ring coming from above the surface of the water. Curious due to how bubbly and dim it sounds underwater, shark Chanyeol swam back up, sticking as close to the surface as possible.

It was louder, until he finally stuck his shark head out into the air and--

Woke up. It was his alarm clock ringing two hours earlier than the time he'd have to be waking up in order to get to the exam leisurely.

At first he was a little dazed when he realized what hour the clock was displaying in his palm, but after coming back to his consciousness by staring at the ringing alarm he remembered why he set up to be woken this early.

Kyungsoo.

Today is the date of their very last, final exam in university ever. From here on out, at the moment the exam is over they are technically free until graduation. Unless Chanyeol would decide to assist in preparations for the last party. Hint, he won't.

While cleaning and dressing up Chanyeol realized just how relieved he feels at this momwnt. He isn't worried at all about how well he'll do in the exam since he studied with Kyungsoo, and he feels confident about the material.

Normally before exams he'd wake up at the very final ring of his alarm, exhausted after barely half an hour of sleep because he would have studied everything during the night of the previous day.

But now, now he can wake up and actually hum to himself while tying his shoeslaces by the dorm's door.

Even though he has a lot of time until the exam even begins and students are allowed to enter any of the test classes at all, he isn't bothered. Because Chanyeol's got another plan to take care of before getting and completing his finals.

That plan being Kyungsoo.

Well, not to do Kyungsoo, but do something for Kyungsoo.

The thought about Kyungsoo's parents having to take a day off work just in order to get him to the university for the exam kept haunting Chanyeol's mind during the entire week. And while knowing that he's able to do it on his own after their trip to the hair salon, Chanyeol decided to do something.

Quietly he exit the dorm room, making sure he doesn't wake up Jongdae, who just like any normal person would want to be asleep at such an hour before an important exam. But who's Chanyeol to complain about it?

Kyungsoo is probably already awake as well, preparing himself to feel the guilt of having to bother his parents into helping him out for the exam. If Kyungsoo can be awake, so can Chanyeol.

The sun was calm in the sky and some nice colder air was breezing against his skin when he walked towards the familiar building, and hopped up the thirty seven steps effortlessly.

Two knocks as always, it's the rule. It's their identification. If Kyungsoo is indeed awake it means he will be hearing creaks any moment now.

 

  
He heard no creaks, but the door began unlocking. Huh? Was Kyungsoo already by the door somehow?

No. In front of him behind the half opened door stood a confused woman. The same woman that carried the ingredients-filled plastic bags up to the Do apartment back when he saw her arrive after work, probably.

The surprise didn't make Chanyeol waver even a bit. Instead, he grinned down at the short woman calmly.

"Good morning Ma'am. I came to take Kyungsoo to the exam."

"You what...?"

She asked, her eyes wide and wonderous. Chanyeol understood where Kyungsoo's genes came from, and for some reason it made him raise a little higher in the cuteness scale inside Chanyeol's mind.

Now he heard a few familiar chair creaks rolling around the little apartment and echoing outwards to where he stands in front of the door. He knew Kyungsoo would be awake by now.

The creaks approached closer to the door until Kyungsoo's head popped behind his mother's body, eyes as big and wonderous as hers, except with a shine of happiness added to them.

"Mom! This is Chanyeol. The friend that took me out to get the haircut."

Kyungsoo explained, gently holding onto his mother's hand and smiling with a glint of excitement. How cute. Chanyeol must have surprised him by coming over this early and unexpectedly. He hasn't told Kyungsoo about planning to help him.

"That's me~"

He grinned again and pointed his own large finger at himself, revealing a toothy grin of confidence. In no way was he trying to impress Kyungsoo's mother. The lifted mood came to him simply from seeing just how happy Kyungsoo became from seeing him stand there.

Kyungsoo behind his mother nodded at Chanyeol with a shining smile and quickly turned and rolled back into the apartment, probably to continue getting ready. Chanyeol realized he kept following his friend with his eyes until Kyungsoo's mother came between them.

Now checking her reaction to the situation, he was surprised to find out she looks like she's about to cry. Without a word she grabbed Chanyeol's hand with both of her own. Holding tight and looking down at it.

Then she raised her eyes and looked directly into Chanyeol's eyes. Her expression filled with so many emotions, fondness, gratefulness, relief. She just held his palm like this, communicating her feelings out to Chanyeol wordlessly.

Chanyeol could understand it all, he also understood where Kyungsoo himself got the ability to express himself so well simply with facial expressions.

A few moments later Kyungsoo rolled back to the door, interrupting his mother's silent exchange of thankfulness with Chanyeol by smiling up at him and distracting him from his mother's eyes.

The lovely lady then leaned down and planted a kiss on Kyungsoo's head. Wishing him good luck while thanking Chanyeol out loud for his assistance.

Getting Kyungsoo down the stairs and onto the street was easier this time. Chanyeol almost felt comfortable carrying Kyungsoo in his arms. It was warm and pleasant to have the boy wrapped around him tightly like this.

Finally down the stairs, Chanyeol gave the Do's household one last glance, seeing Kyungsoo's mother waving goodbye at him until they walked far enough out of her sight.

A soft yet soothing wave of warmth washed over Chanyeol from the inside during their walk to the university. Kyungsoo rolling and creaking a little by his side on his own, and Chanyeol lost in thoughts about the way Kyungsoo's mother expressed just how thankful she was.

Kyungsoo probably never had a proper friend, in the state he currently is. And the fact that the mother knew who Chanyeol was because of Kyungsoo's words means that Chanyeol's influence on his life was just this immense.

 

  
They get to the university grounds. From obvious reasons, grabbing quite a lot of attention from the other students who pass by them. Not only because of Kyungsoo's state even though he is getting nervous like the attention is solely on him.

But also because Chanyeol is known around the university as one who would never go out of his way for anybody ever. No matter how close or how distant they are, you'll never get any sort of affection of attention from him.

So seeing him walk beside Kyungsoo's creaking old chair in a sort of cool yet almost protective way, wearing a cold and distant expression towards anybody that dares to give them a glance, is quite a sight.

They made it into the hallway, passing by countless surprised faces, one of them recognizable to Chanyeol. It was Baekhyun. Standing there and staring at them in shock.

Chanyeol laughed to himself silently, amused by how surprised his friend was. So much so that he couldn't even step out of the aligned students and greet them.

But shortly after, Jongdae does. He steps out from behind a couple students and walks straight to Kyungsoo with a bright and friendly smile. His usual angelic vibe is as present as ever.

"Hey, you're Kyungsoo, right? It's a pleasure to meet you finally! I was wondering where Chanyeol went off so early in the morning hahaha."

His friend smiled, chuckling heartfully towards Kyungsoo who looked a little overwhelmed by the amount of niceness that can flow out of a single person, but he quickly smiled and nodded in approval.

"I'll be taking the exam in the same room as you, we could sit together!"

"Alright. Yes."

Kyungsoo responded right away, significantly calmer now that he found a new friendly face in the frozen crowd.

When they made it to the room Jongdae entered first, and through the opened door of the class Chanyeol could see how he already began pushing some tables and chairs all around in order to make sure Kyungsoo will have enough space and a comfortable spot.

Jongdae's really the best. Even Baekhyun's surprised ass is the best. Without the two of them he'd never be in such a peculiar amazing situation with a great person by his side.

Before entering Chanyeol tapped Kyungsoo's shoulder to grab his attention and handed him the bag he was carrying for his friend's sake the entire time. The bag containing the important exam acceptable notes and writing tools.

"I'll take you back when you're done, if you finish before me just wait here."

Kyungsoo confirms with a calmer nod of confidence before rolling into the classroom. Leaving Chanyeol on his own to travel up to the second floor where his own exam will be taken with Baekhyun sitting beside him, as expected.

The two of them spoke for a little while before the exam papers were given out. Baekhyun was probably really out of the loop this entire time if he really hadn't realized Chanyeol's true interest in Kyungsoo.

Actually, Chanyeol himself wasn't entirely sure what it was exactly that made him so interested in Kyungsoo. Sure, he's cute, as heck, beautiful too, his voice is soft and his smile looks like heaven, but Chanyeol's not interested in Kyungsoo in that way.

Kyungsoo has become his friend. He feels calm and judgement free whenever Kyungsoo's with him. Like he doesn't need to prove himself to be anything other than what his heart truly says.

 

  
Quickly enough, Chanyeol finished the exam. Leaving Baekhyun looking either concentrated or devastated behind him in the classroom. It was easy. Every answer came to him without a struggle and he already knew he aced it, just like always. Except this time the feeling of success was sweet, and not bitter due to being too exhausted after binge studying the night before.

Without a rush or worry, Chanyeol goes back to the first floor and places himself beside the door of the classroom in which Kyungsoo's taking the exam at. Leaning against the wall, he busied himself with random games on his phone.

He heard steps approach him in the silent hallways, but whoever it might be doesn't deserve any of his attention more than the game he's playing. Not until he reazlied a pair of heavy boots were standing right beside him.

Raising his eyes from the screen of his device, Chanyeol was not surprised to find it was none other than Chris Lee. The main bully. The bad guy of university. Chanyeol's friend, too, apparently. At least according to himself. And their slowly falling apart sort of financial agreement.

Without a word the man leaned against the wall by his side and sighed, stinking from cigarettes that Chanyeol really cannot stand at all.

"You know it's useless, right?"

He spoke, Chanyeol didn't want to see what kind of face he was making. So he focused back on the matching sort of game in his phone.

"What is?"

"That stupid crippled. He'll never have a future."

What the fuck is he talking about. Why would he even care about Kyungsoo?

"Fuck off."

Chanyeol replied immediately, coldly, impatiently. He's not up for this bullshit. Chris is giving him enough trouble as is. He'd really rather not get even further involved with this monster of a person.

He still didn't raise his eyes from the screen.

"Hah. You're cute. Everyone saw how you looked at him today at the hall. I'm doing you a favor buddy."

"Dude, fuck off. This 'crippled' is better than you'll ever be."

Chanyeol wouldn't get involved, but he wouldn't allow his friends to be stepped on by anybody without doing anything. Even if mere months ago Chanyeol would have probably been joking about Kyungsoo with Chris himself.

Months ago he would have gone as far as call him terrible words and say horrible things about him just because.

He didn't yet care. He didn't yet know what it feels like to have a person be truly and innocently kind to him.

So today he won't step back from confronting this badmouthing of a person who deserves none of it.

"You think you're so clever Chanyeol, huh? You think I didn't know you've been busy playing with that lame excuse of a human for the past months?"

Chris snickered, but there was something dark and intimidating lying beneath his tone.

"If he's going to become a problem with our situation with you, I won't hesitate to make sure he will no longer be around."

Chanyeol huffed out, feeling the anger bubble down in his stomach. He felt Chris' anger grow into his muscles as well. This is not good.

"What are you going to do if he becomes a problem? Will you take care of him on your own?"

"I would if I had to. Don't you fucking dare touch him."

He finally replied, deeply, coldly. With confidence that caught Chris a little off guard, but brought another tint into his squinting black eyes, maliciousness.

"The creaking of the garbage pisses me off. You better step down and not get involved. You're my buddy, Chanyeol, rich Chanyeol, remember?"

Chris insisted on, a weird crank of a creepy smile half stretched across his lips and only irritated the very last of Chanyeol's nerves more.

If this man will do anything to Kyungsoo just because Chanyeol decided to spend more time with him than spend time wasting money with Chris on useless things, Chanyeol really doesn't know what he'll end up doing.

Kyungsoo is the last person on this planet deserving to be mistreated. He wouldn't allow anything to happen to him. Kyungsoo's been through enough. He's constantly 'being through' every single day of his life already.

"Don't. You. Dare."

Chanyeol threatened, sliding the phone into his pocket and tightening his fist inside of it, hopefully to avoid actually starting a physical fight with Chris like his body is so itching to do. It'd be dangerous, nobody knows whether or not this guy's carrying a knife.

"Or what? You'll actually fight me? Are you sure you're ready to deal with breaking our agreement? Our business? Oh right. I forgot that he's so fucking shit he is literally unable to do anything on his own, not even get the stupid juice you always wanted from him so bad."

 

  
That's it, the straw that broke the camel's back. Chanyeol's rage peaked to the very edges of the nerves all over his body, and without a second of spare thought, he threw a punch right at Chris' jaw, jutting at him with another one prepared after the man had been thrown off balance.

But Chris retaliated fast and began kicking Chanyeol's legs and front, blocking whichever attempt of a punch he tried to throw in his way.

It was stupid, Chanyeol knows little to nothing about actual physical fights, while knowing that Chris is considered the unbeatable god of said fights. What is he going to do? He started something he might not be able to finish.

Maybe gaining power and strength from the reason this fight even began will be enough to keep him at an advantage. So while thinking about Chris' horrible words about Kyungsoo, Chanyeol continued the battle.

Punches, kicks, hits and smacks flew all over the hallways between them. Blood gathering across their faces and knuckles and anything that's come in contact between them. It's gotten loud, students began gathering around them, too.

Taking out their cellphones and filming everything without getting involved themselves, because until any professor or university staff will arrive to break the fight, it'll be good evidence. And a damn good memory from university.

Two professors and one of the janitors had to step in to stop them, Chris repeatedly shouted curses and other vulgar expressions about Kyungsoo, about how their buddy-buddy connection has come to an end and he better watch his back.

The crowd dissolved, and Chanyeol was left on his own by the classrom in which Kyungsoo's exam is being taken. Feeling a little sorry for causing a ruckus, but not one bit sorry for standing up against Kyungsoo's offender.

Whatever. It's not like he cares. He wasn't taken to the principal's office because the other students knew it wasn't his fault and convinced the professor to let him go.

Whatever. He won't allow even a dangerous man like Chris to shit on Kyungsoo. He's not the type of person to participate in such behaviour anymore.

Back to busying himself with the game on his phone, Chanyeol's face was hurting, but he knew it's pointless to try and fix it up now. The best way to allow punches to heal is to just let the face do it on its own.

Now calmer for Kyungsoo's sake but slightly more nervous for his own sake, Chanyeol didn't even realize how long had passed since the fight ended, or the exams began, but he was surprised to hear the creaking of Kyungsoo's chair from inside the classroom.

Quickly he slid the phone back in his pocket and turned to look at the door that began opening. Slowly Kyungsoo rolled himself out and sighed with relief, only to jump once he realized Chanyeol was standing right beside him.

"C-Chanyeol? Are you okay? What happened to your face?"

The boy's expression turned from relief to surprise to concern. Seeing Chanyeol's wounded face like this must have worried him a lot, because although he still gives out a vibe of innocence his stress is noticable.

"It's nothing. Just an asshole talking shit."

He replied a little sharply, just the sound of Chris' voice saying such awful things about Kyungsoo ticked his nerves again and tensed up his body, making him clench his fist again while averting his eyes from Kyungsoo.

It was silent for a while, but then he heard a sigh escape from Kyungsoo's mouth and felt a very soft tug to the edge of his sleeve.

"It's fine, really."

But the tugging didn't stop, the boy kept pulling down on Chanyeol's sleeve gently until he finally realized he needs to kneel down.

Right there, right by the door of the exam's classroom, Chanyeol kneeled down in front of Kyungsoo's chair, looking at him quietly, still a little buzzed from the adrenaline of the fight, but very grounded now with Kyungsoo in his sight. Maybe even a little... Shy?

Quietly, Kyungsoo pulled out a small wet wipe out of his bag, and leaned forward. He very carefully began dabbing the wipe over Chanyeol's face, the cool sensation was actually relaxing, Chanyeol felt his body slowly soothing down.

Although Kyungsoo was busy very gently cleaning his face from the dust, and the dried blood left overs, Chanyeol felt no pain. His eyes were locked onto Kyungsoo's face. Round and beautiful and soft, giving off a feeling of security and fragility.

He didn't feel a thing, he didn't care even if Kyungsoo would begin slapping him now, he didn't, but he wouldn't mind because Kyungsoo's face is mesmerizing and so close to his own. He's so pretty and Chanyeol couldn't have been happier to have gotten in the fight in order to get this view of his friend.

 

  
After spending a while longer by purchasing and eating some ice cream together on the way to Kyungsoo's home from the exam, they made it up. Kyungsoo's hug around Chanyeol's body to climb up the stairs this time was tighter. More sincere.

At least Chanyeol felt like it was, he couldn't really tell from Kyungsoo's neutral expression.

"I'll see you soon enough, alright?"

He asked his classmate with a small slightly crooked smile due to the bloating on the side of his lips. Kyungsoo stared up at him in silence for a little while, and rolled closer to him, sliding his palms over Chanyeol's hand.

His hands were small and soft, both of them holding together to Chanyeol's hand were still barely enough to cover his entire palm. Still examining what is the meaning of Kyungsoo's decision to hold to his hand, he kept looking at him.

Only to see that Kyungsoo's looking at Chanyeol's hand with fondness and longing. Almost like he's silently praying that Chanyeol wouldn't leave. Or maybe just trying to express how thankful he is, just like his mother.

How cute. Kyungsoo's just so adorable, and his hair-free face is so wonderful and bright and Chanyeol feels a little bit like he himself doesn't want to leave the doorstep.

"Hey, I'll come back. I promise."

Chanyeol assured his friend with a warm smile. Kyungsoo's eyes were shining with bliss, and Chanyeol just couldn't help but send his free hand out to ruffle the short hair of his adorable seated friend to make him laugh.

They separated their hands from one another and Chanyeol kept glancing back at the Do apartment every few steps while it was still in his eyesight.

He didn't do any physical work, so why does his heart beat so fast?

An image of Kyungsoo's smile of happiness from having his hair ruffled moments ago flashed up in his head, and Chanyeol realized that the reason his pulse started racing is very obvious after all.

Chanyeol is definitely most certainly crushing on Kyungsoo. Really hard.

  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I have done all the research I possibly could about every one of the medical details mentioned in this chapter. If any of you find a mistake, please inform me!

  
  


  
As hard as it was for Chanyeol to do, he knew it needs to be done. After the instance of his connection with Chris worsening, Chanyeol had no other choice but to contact the only person he knows who could fix things properly. His father.

It's too dangerous to keep things open on bad terms with a person like Chris. He already knows way more about Chanyeol's life and personal connections than Chanyeol is comfortable with. Which means others around him might be at risk.

He wouldn't allow that. Not Jongdae, not Baekhyun, and most definitely not Kyungsoo who's already in a vulnerable position against threats by default.

He's a different person than he used to be before. His cold and stern self is gone. The one that didn't care, the one that felt cautious about giving, careful of expressing his thoughts and feelings, about friendship.

Now he's grown, Kyungsoo's exposure in his life has turned him into a man that not only cut off any connection with the source of all evil in his life, known as Chris, but also contacted his father in order to do so.

Chanyeol realized that unlike his previous old pride that came out of shallow achievements like games, appearance, and success in wooing his chosen targets, now he feels proud from entirely different reasons.

When he studied and finished the exam successfully he felt proud, when he works out he feels proud, when he cooks with Jongdae in their kitchen he's proud. When he is able to make Kyungsoo smile he is the most proud.

After the exam, both Kyungsoo and him have no more classes and nothing to study for, Chanyeol's been visiting him on an almost daily basis. They don't leave the apartment much at all, once in a while maybe. But Chanyeol's still a little wary that Kyungsoo's well being might be compromised if they stay outside too much.

Luckily, his father who noticed the shift in Chanyeol's way of life once the latter had to call him in order to ask for help, agreed to step in and end the toxic connection between the two once and for all.

Chris Lee will no longer be bothering Chanyeol. He wouldn't be bothering anybody else at the university either once Chanyeol's father will complete the reasearch and take him to court for his previous crimes.

These were great news, but it still doesn't change the fact that Chris had quite a large following, and even if the head of the snake is off the records, it's still a little dangerous.

He was doing well, spending his time to do things that make him happy. Be it play games from time to time, hang out with Baekhyun and Jongdae, or visit Kyungsoo. They had a while until graduation to enjoy the simplicity of university life without the real world's interruptions.

At least Chanyeol did. Kyungsoo's dealing with the real world's challenges every single day.

"Hey, Chanyeol, you've been really out of it lately.. Are you okay? What's bothering you?"

Kyungsoo asked him one visit, looking a little worried yet careful, soft and compassionate right in his direction. Chanyeol is not used to being handled with such gentleness, it surprised him a little to discover how easy it was for Kyungsoo to detect his bitter mood.

"It's nothing big.. I just had to get my parents involved in some mess I've caused before. I mean, it ended up fine. My dad even offered to meet up with me again."

He explained, dropping out the details about everything that happened with Chris and his threats. It's better to forget about it completely. Chanyeol cannot be held accountable since he technically didn't even know what was done with his borrowed money.

So it shouldn't be such a problem for his father to handle. At least he thinks so, because it seems like his father noticed the changes in Chanyeol's lifestyle.

He used to be harsh, even hostile, but now after Chanyeol came to him and explained what he's been up to, he received a different reaction than some cold bites.

"You? Causing a mess?"

Kyungsoo replied wide eyed, but in a very obvious joking manner. He would never let Chanyeol's punch fight in the hallway during his exam die down. The two of them chuckled lightly.

"I don't really know if you'd want such a thing but... Uhm. My parents are actually going out for the weekend, after probably years they couldn't. Would you want to stay over?"

The boy added, with a much more obvious nervous tone to his voice, tugging lightly onto the blanket covering his legs. He looks so hopeful, and Chanyeol doesn't have the heart to deny him of it.

"That's actually a damn good offer. Especially since Jongdae decided to invite Baekhyun for the weekend too.. It's the perfect escape plan!"

Or maybe Jongdae said he's going to stay with Baekhyun? Chanyeol doesn't quite remember, but it doesn't matter because it sounds pretty convenient to stay over at Kyungsoo's place for a bit.

Who would have thought that a person like Chanyeol would actually be eager to sleepover at the place of a person like Kyungsoo? Not in a thousand years anybody could have guessed it would ever happen.

 

  
There he stands again, a classic sports bag filled with a few necessary hygiene items for the weekend. A pair of pajamas for the night in one hand, and a plastic shopping bag with a bunch of snacks and drinks in the other.

When the door opened in front of him, Kyungsoo was already rolling on his way to his own room, smiling at Chanyeol to follow. Without even needing to say a word Chanyeol closed the door after him, left the snacks in the living room and followed Kyungsoo into his room.

"I prepared you a big futon right by my bed, I hope its okay. It's longer than my own bed so I'm sure you'll fit in it, right?"

He gestured into the room, allowing Chanyeol to look inside before entering. The room was in perfect order. Clean and neat just like the rest of the apartment, a few pictures were hanging on the walls, too tall for Kyungsoo to have been the one who put them there.

Chanyeol smiled and allowed his necessities bag to drop on top of the futon before patting Kyungsoo's shoulder and thanking him for the effort.

They've spent the entire day watching series and movies in the living room, munching on all the snacks and drinks. Later Kyungsoo made them both a simple dinner with Chanyeol standing near the kitchen by the wall, watching him, so that the flow of their conversation wouldn't end.

He didn't know if he should or should not offer help, but from the way Kyungsoo's face remained in a permanent small smile, Chanyeol decided he'd just allow him to do it and enjoy himself.

By the time they finished eating and lazying around some more, either watching things, or allowing Kyungsoo to play the games on Chanyeol's phone, which was adorable because he got so invested in them, it was already pretty late in the evening.

Way earlier than Chanyeol's usual bed time, but while in Rome do as the romans do. As they say.

They changed their location to Kyungsoo's room, Chanyeol sat down on his futon while Kyungsoo transferred to his own bed by himself, leaving the wheelchair beside it for easy access.

They were calm, pleasant, and happy. Almost even relieved that they wouldn't need to be parting until at least the next day. Chanyeol was immersed and Kyungsoo was so amazing.

Somehow they managed to grow twice as close as they were in these few hours spent together, learning about each other. Chanyeol had tried to avoid asking a certain question all day, because he didn't know if he was ready to know the answer himself.

But now, when it's dark outside and Kyungsoo starts to look a little sleepy, his curiousity won over him, and he asked the question he feared knowing the answer of.

He stared intensely at Kyungsoo's thin legs hidden inside baggy jeans for a pretty long while, sort of losing himself before finally turning his head up to see Kyungsoo's smiling down at him from on top of the bed.

"How.. uh. How did this happen? If it happened? I don't really know how these things work."

Chanyeol finally asked, feeling a certain sense of nervousness from the whole situation. Before, he didn't want to know anything about these things, but now that he finally wants to know he isn't sure what's right to know at all.

"Don't be so stressed, it's fine. I wasn't in any sort of tragic accident or something like that."

Kyungsoo responded right away, chuckling calmly at the visible display of Chanyeol's relieved sigh to know the story wouldn't be nervewrecking.

 

  
"It was between middle school and high school. We moved from Ilsan to Seoul to stay closer to my father's sister. While we moved all the boxes into the house I probably carried one that was a little too heavy. You know, I was just a kid."

He started, calmly talking while Chanyeol could see in his eyes that he replays all of the memories he speaks of in his mind. There weren't any specific emotions on his expression.

"At some point I heard and felt a really loud and strong snap in my back, and just collapsed down on the floor. It was a little scary, I tried moving my legs to get up but they just wouldn't move at all."

He continued, a small smile popped on his face, but Chanyeol could see his hand tightening its hold onto the mattress of his bed.

"I kinda panicked. Clearly. Began crying and all that. I don't remember much after that, but my parents told me later that after I was brought to the hospital the doctors had to be really quick, except.. My parents didn't have enough money to get an expert..."

Now Chanyeol could see something in his face shift a little, not into sadness, but rather, regret. He listened quietly, that's the most he has ever heard Kyungsoo say, and he didn't realize just how much he enjoys having this voice in his ears.

A question that remains unsolved is the nature of Kyungsoo's regret. Why would he feel remorse about anything? Does he actually think any of what happened to him is somehow his fault?

Chanyeol wanted to either smack him or hug him really tight just from the thought of him possibly blaming himself.

"So the operation wasn't successful, and I lost everything from the thighs and below. I actually got an infection from the surgery too, and until my parents got me this wheelchair to start school, I was grounded to bed because of it."

He went a little further with the details, and Chanyeol's already aching heart could only clench tighter in his chest, both his palms were gripping tightly to his own ankles on the futon and it took a lot out of him to not hold Kyungsoo's hand, at least.

Although this new information was difficult for Chanyeol to understand as a whole, he did pay the entire span of his attention to the speaker out of respect. He learned that Kyungsoo's situation was actually a very rare dysfunction of a peaceful spina bifida from type occulta.

A defect that Kyungsoo was born with and went undetected all of his life until the incident. Where there was an incompletion in the building of his bones and barriers around his spinal cord.

A normally harmless defect that affects nothing at all in the person's body, had been snapped due to Kyungsoo trying to help and carrying something nobody knew his body wouldn't be able to handle.

"We had to move here afterwards, my parents uh.. Couldn't really afford to stay in Seoul. So here I am."

Kyungsoo finished the explanation, smiling at Chanyeol without a trace of any burdening emotions that he might have caught while talking before.

Pretty rough. Pretty unfair. Kyungsoo must have had his life set out in front of him towards the future. Chanyeol can only assume that he was extremely loved wherever he chose to go. This boy did nothing to deserve the fate he lives through right now.

His parents are dedicating their lives to pay back for something nobody had any control over, pay back for the system that failed them. Chanyeol just now understood just how meaningful it is that Kyungsoo's parents are out for a weekend.

It was bad, and yet Chanyeol didn't exactly feel like shying away from the subject. Now that he knows how it all began, he feels more connected, but he barely knows anything about how things are right now.

He used to be a coward, too scared to learn about this and accept the fact that some people just weren't free like him. Everything different was so wrong, and now... Now everything different is Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo is right.

"How--.."

Chanyeol gulped, after being so concentrated on the story he didn't realize he was silent for so long.

"How is it today then?"

Kyungsoo seemed to be surprised. It was obvious that Kyungsoo wouldn't expect Chanyeol to wonder about such things after very clearly showing and stating how difficult it is for him to understand.

He stared at Chanyeol for a little while. Chanyeol wondered if he noticed the stiffness of his shoulders after asking it. He really wants to know now. It's important, it matters.

"It's fine. It doesn't hurt or anything.. I simply can't feel it. Only the upper part.. From like, here."

Kyungsoo gestured onto his own legs, placing a finger in the middle of the upper part of his thighs, he then slid his hand downwards and smiled at Chanyeol calmly.

"Technically, it's possible to just cut my legs off without me noticing at all."

He laughed.

How can he laugh about this? It sounds like he doesn't take this subject seriously at all himself. Like it was nothing.

Maybe for Kyungsoo who has been dealing with it for years it really sounds like nothing anymore, but Chanyeol's face grimaced at the thought and he had to fight the urge to hug around Kyungsoo's legs as if to protect them from invisible saws that'll pull them off of his body.

 

  
They've spoken for a while more, Kyungsoo softly answered any question Chanyeol had, and Chanyeol calmly answered all of Kyungsoo's, too. It helped Chanyeol calm back down from the seriousness of Kyungsoo's legs.

Chanyeol thought his heart was going to burst from what felt like happiness mixed with cautiousness when after they finished talking and Kyungsoo's sleepiness was more present, he asked Chanyeol's help in changing into his pajamas.

Under Kyungsoo's gentle instructions and guidance, Chanyeol helped him change up. Kyungsoo easily took care of the upper part on his own in a matter of seconds, but the lower half of the body was a little more challenging.

At first he only asked for Chanyeol to help with the feet where it's harder to reach, because he's able to push off and pull on the pants just fine on his own, but Chanyeol insisted in helping more.

Which left Kyungsoo a little stunned, Chanyeol wasn't surprised to see Kyungsoo's shock. He never offered any help before.

Very carefully he began pulling Kyungsoo's jeans off over his legs, revealing thin boney limbs. He stared at the two legs quietly, knowing that Kyungsoo's getting more and more nervous the longer that passes, but he couldn't help it.

Kyungsoo was just so fragile right under his hands on the side of the bed. After hesitating for a little while Chanyeol finally placed his palm on top of Kyungsoo's knee, feeling the low temperature of the body part and how soft the skin is.

"Do you feel it?"

His friend shook his head.

"Only the upper thigh. But I'm getting a little cold."

Chanyeol nodded and slid the soft yet thick fabric of Kyungsoo's pajama pants over his legs, until Kyungsoo took over the task again and brought it above his hips.

Shortly after Chanyeol tucked Kyungsoo in bed, covering him like a child and laughing at the way his head popped out from under the blanket. Kyungsoo is really something else. As strong as Chanyeol thought he was, Kyungsoo's probably twice as much.

He was happy. It looked like Kyungsoo's eyes were shining up at him from the bed, and after turning the lights off, to make sure he remains silent yet entertained until he'll be tired enough to sleep in such an early hour, Chanyeol played on his phone.

Eventually he managed to fall asleep. It was weird. He slept very lightly, definitely not used to anything other than a bed. He wasn't uncomfortable, but he just couldn't fall into deep sleep like he wished.

 

  
After a few hours of light and actually pleasant sleep, in the middle of the night, Chanyeol suddenly woke up. Weird noises were echoing around the little room and he knew for a fact that it is not his phone, nor himself.

Rubbing his eyes lightly, his hearing stabilized and the noises didn't sound so odd anymore. They sounded like heavy breaths coming from a choked up throat of someone. Surprised, Chanyeol scanned his eyes around the room but there was nobody there.

That means the only source could be none other than Kyungsoo.

With worry he sat up on his futon, brows furrowed in order to focus his vision in the dark. Checking on Kyungsoo revealed that he was correct. He finds him huffing and puffing, hands gripping tightly onto the sheets, his eyes shut tight.

Almost as if he sensed Chanyeol was there without a sound, Kyungsoo opened his eyes and winced in his direction, Chanyeol is able to see the corners of his eyes shimmer from gathering tears while he looks pained, panicked.

"What is it? Kyungsoo what's wrong?"

Chanyeol began panicking himself, removing the blanket from his friend, he wraps Kyungsoo between his arms and hugs him upwards into a sitting position. Kyungsoo's body is hot and sweaty, he's trembling and his chest keeps growing in and out quickly.

He has no clue what to do, he never had to deal with anything like this. It's terrifying to see Kyungsoo in such a state of terror. Stroking his palm over Kyungsoo's back slowly did result in a very slight decrease in the speed of the panic, but not enough.

Carefully lying Kyungsoo back down on the bed, Chanyeol rushed to the windows, opening them all the way for fresh air to flow into the room. It's a little colder outside that night, luckily. But when he gets back to the bed there's no change in Kyungsoo's state.

Should he call the police? An ambulance? Kyungsoo's parents? Do they even have phones? Chanyeol's body tenses up when his mind keeps running. Kyungsoo's in pain and there is nothing he can do to help.

"--...Air--.."

There was a faint mumble coming from Kyungsoo's mouth, nearly a whisper, but it was enough for Chanyeol to hear and take the initiative for choosing a course of action. Kyungsoo's hands were holding tightly onto whatever was in his range on the bed as he huffed again.

It's time to go. Kyungsoo needs to go outside. He doesn't know why, but he knows he does. Without a moment to waste, Chanyeol grabbed the wheelchair and brought it out of the apartment and down the stairs to the street.

Carefully wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo's body, he felt the stress of the other from the way his fingers nearly dug into Chanyeol's back when he grabbed onto him. With a wince Chanyeol placed Kyungsoo in the chair and buckled him up quickly.

Kyungsoo was panting heavily, tugging hard on the sides of the chair, he couldn't let go even for the sake of fixing the position of his own two legs, so Chanyeol did it for him in the best way he could imagine being correct.

"Kyungsoo, let's go get you come air. Just breathe now!"

Chanyeol shouted loudly and began running, pushing Kyungsoo in his chair in front of him. He just ran. Ran more and more on the empty roads of the night. Up and down streets he never even visited, with Kyungsoo right in front of him.

He could feel the sweat dripping all over his body, he was breathing heavily himself, making sure to continue running fast through the cold air until the very brink of his exhaustion.

Starting to slow down, Chanyeol was a little relieved to find that their location was actaully not too far from their starting point. Only a few blocks away, right at a spot he didn't really know existed near a small river.

A cement half-wall of separation stood between the street and the grass that leads to the water, so Chanyeol pushed Kyungsoo there and allowed himself to sit down on the ledge, catching his breath and wipining the sweat.

Glancing back to see Kyungsoo's state, he found the boy sitting and staring at the little river, looking calm, but sad. So utterly sad. His eyes slightly squinted now that his vision must be blurry without the glasses.

It's fine, Chanyeol was panicked, it's not his fault he forgot about the glasses.

 

  
"Feeling better? Are you okay?"

He asked after finally being able to speak, his heart still fast and his breath still hot from the effort.

Kyungsoo turned to look at him quickly, after a short while of silence he smiled, an obvious pained smile, and nodded. Kyungsoo's hand was then brought forward and placed on Chanyeol's knee.

"I'm okay now. Thank you... I am sorry."

He spoke softly, voice airy and weak. Not only that, but he looked exhausted, probably more than Chanyeol himself, who just ran for who knows how long in the middle of the night while pushing a wheelchair in front of him.

"What was it? A nightmare?"

Chanyeol asked again, calming his quick breathing speed until it turns decent again. Then he stood up and began pushing Kyungsoo's chair slowly along the river, towards the direction they originally came from.

Even if he can only see his friend's expression from the back, it's easy to notice the boy looked devastated.

"You could say so... It's uhm. Phantom pain."

"Phantom pain?"

Chanyeol wonders confused. Is there some sort of ghost that attacks Kyungsoo when he sleeps or something? That doesn't make any sense, but Chanyeol's sleepy head isn't willing to fully wake up just yet when it's still so dark outside.

"Yes. I can't feel my legs at all.. But sometimes I can sense them. And when I sense them all they do is hurt. Really, really bad. I used to have a pill for that back in highschool, but not anymore."

Kyungsoo admitted quietly, but loud enough to surpass the creaking of the wheelchair beneath him on their way back.

That sounds terrifying. Chanyeol came to the conclusion that he was truly a much bigger asshole than he thought. Paraplegic people go through things Chanyeol didn't even know could happen at all.

Just the thought of having a body part that you don't feel, but suddenly begins hurting out of nowhere is crazy. How could he have thought people like Kyungsoo were any weaker than himself?

"Do your parents take you out for air everytime?"

Chanyeol asked, careful. He can feel the layers of sadness emitting from Kyungsoo even if he can only see the nape of his neck.

"No."

"So what do you do?"

There was silence for a little while, and then Kyungsoo inhaled, the view of the familiar neighbourhood taking place around them.

"Just.. Power through it. I guess."

Wow. Kyungsoo has been having these sorts of nightmares while being awake, and he just... He can't do anything about it. Chanyeol's heart clenched lightly in his chest, just like before, something just hurt so bad in knowing that someone is going through such a painful life.

He couldn't say anything for a while. What can he possibly say? No words can comfort such experiences. It's something that seems to have happened before, and that will happen again in the future.

But in the future Chanyeol wouldn't be able to sleep over and help him again. How many of these night terrors did Kyungsoo suffer silently on his own?

There's an ocean of sadness drowning Chanyeol's heart.

"I should have checked on you sooner. I should have been there for you way before--"

"No, Chanyeol. It's okay, really. I'm grateful for all that you've already done. I'm fine. I did it before and I'll do it again."

Kyungsoo shut his words down. And while Chanyeol knew he should be just glad that he was able to help this time, it just hurt too much knowing that Kyungsoo will be dealing with this all on his own if it happens again and he won't be around.

Chanyeol's stomach is twisting with so many emotions, all of them screaming at him to protect Kyungsoo from the world that has been so cruel to him. A world that makes him feel like he is at fault for his own misfortune.

 

  
Without saying a word, Chanyeol stopped pushing the chair, stood in front of Kyungsoo, kneeled down, and grabbed onto both his hands tightly, looking directly into his surprised wide eyes with determination.

He knows what he will do.

"Kyungsoo, I'll stay by your side. You're not a burden to me."

Chanyeol said, voice deep and honest, and Kyungsoo's unable to move a muscle other than the lids of his eyes to blink.

"Please accept me into your life. I will be there, I promise."

Because he wants to. Because Chanyeol wants to be there. Kyungsoo's appearance in his life changed him. He became a better person, a happier person who actually loves and laughs and cares.

Kyungsoo opened his heart, and now contains most of its content. After settling things with his father, Chanyeol knows he will be able to make the world a little less cruel for him.

"I know you don't want or need help, you're stronger than all of my muscles altogether. Instead, please help ME make it better for you."

 

  
Kyungsoo cried again. And Chanyeol remained on his knees on the pavement in the middle of the night and hugged him between his arms like he was a precious fragile jewel.

Because in Chanyeol's eyes he is no less than a gem.

  
  
  



	11. Chapter 11

  
  


  
Graduation ceremony was a mess.

It was nice and all, to see everyone wearing the pretty gowns, looking serious but excited, holding onto their own scrolls and waiting for the principal to finish talking. The mess started only once he was done, and the entire class to which Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and Baekhyun belong to, started swarming around Kyungsoo.

He was a little overwhelmed, Chanyeol could see, but at the same time he was happy, curious and cheerful. He greeted his classmates with warm handshakes or fistbumps, congratulated them for their work, and received more than a few 'Awww's from their fellow friends.

Chanyeol felt his heart beating to a rhythm of peace that he hasn't really experienced before. Kyungsoo was so small, but right now he was so big, and giant Chanyeol himself was the peasant beneath the royals.

Finally it was both Baekhyun and Jongdae who came to greet them once the swarm was gone. Along with the creaking, along with the slightly bumpy road out of the university, they've walked together. Laughing and chanting and shouting loudly from anything even slightly amusing.

Instead of parting ways, Baekhyun and Jongdae decided to invite themselves to join the original planning pair for ice cream. All at Chanyeol's expense of course, but he really didn't mind.

Chanyeol, the selfish asshole who wouldnt spare a glance in any direction other than his own path, was not only treating three of his friends to ice cream, but he did it on his own will. He did it because he wanted to. Because seeing them so happy sparked up a fire of happines inside him.

Who would have thought he'd ever reach this level? If real life could be compared to his much loved games that he had already stopped playing competetively, then he finally hit the highest level.

He won the game thanks to simply allowing his heart to be as wide as his in-game character's. As wide as his body can contain.

Plus, there was something else he had planned especially for their graduation party tonight. Not everyone will be attending. Baekhyun said he'd rather take the first train to get home and celebrate with his family instead. But that's alright, because Chanyeol's plan had nothing to do with Baekhyun.

After bringing Kyungsoo back home, enjoying every step up the stairs and into the apartment while the smaller holds around him in a giggly hug, Chanyeol was surprised to find Kyungsoo's mother at home.

Apparently she heard about the graduation from someone else at her workplace since Kyungsoo didn't tell her about it at all in order to allow her to work without stressing.

With a hug to the woman who gave birth to Chanyeol's precious friend, he left the apartment. Making sure she will pamper Kyungsoo up to look 'Fly' for the party tonight.

She probably didn't understand what he meant, but it made Kyungsoo laugh, and that's all that matters.

 

  
This time Chanyeol didn't go back to the dorm in order to prepare for tonight's party. He took a cab back home, merely an hour drive, and met with his parents. After three years of distance between them due to Chanyeol's careless behaviour, he finally felt at home.

They welcomed him with open arms, tight hugs and a flow of heart warming different compliments and praises. His mother, sweet and soft had kissed his head as if he was still a child shorter than her. His father, strong and honest had hugged around him with pride.

And Chanyeol was truly happy. Not only from finally feeling the reassurance of their support, but also because of the excitement of seeing his graduation gift revealed.

A graduation gift so unexpected it left his parents in shock when he requested it instead of a car of his own. Since he knew that they have already signed all the papers of Chanyeol's not yet announced new house he will be getting at the moment he starts working.

He got ready, washing himself thoroughly and styling up his hair with an unnecessary amount of gel before dressing up with a suit that probably didn't cost much less than his graduation gift itself.

He's used to it. The life of freedom and luxury and no sense of financial fear. The exact opposite of the friend he's on his way to pick up to the party.

Then he climbs up again, for the who-knows-how-many-times time, and knocks twice on the door. Hearing not only the little creaks of Kyungsoo's chair, but also an exchange of happy laughter between him and his mother from inside the apartment.

And the door opens, and Chanyeol's body stiffens up from the view in front of him no matter how excited he is to share the nature of his graduation gift with his friend.

"Hey Chanyeol."

Kyungsoo spoke first, eyes glistening with anticipation towards the night they'll be spending partying with the rest of the relieved graduated students.

"You look amazing--"

"You look fantastic--"

The two of them spoke at the same time, blinking at each other in surprise before laughing hard but quick, with Kyungsoo's mother approaching the two from inside the apartment smiling.

Kyungsoo really did look amazing, and fantastic. Hair styled properly, slick and sharp. Dressed in a suit that looks clean yet pretty old and unmatched for his size, but it was okay. It looked good, and he was adorable with his glasses and the smile and his lips.

His lips, so pink and soft looking from being stretched into a smile for almost the entire day. Or maybe it was only Chanyeol that's been grinning for hours unnoticed.

"Guess we'll have to go with each other? Two loners from the end of the world."

Kyungsoo shrugged at his own words. If only he knew how many people Chanyeol had turned down in order to make sure he'll be able to get there with Kyungsoo unbothered, maybe he wouldn't sound so playful.

Without wasting much time afterwards, both of them greeted Kyungsoo's mother goodbye.

Just like the usual process of taking the boy down the stairs, Kyungsoo unbuckled himself from the chair and pulled himself to sit on the couch, smiling cheerfully up at Chanyeol. He waited for him to take the chair down the stairs and come back to pick him.

But Chanyeol's plans demanded otherwise.

With a smirk he rolled the creaking chair aside into the apartment, both the Do family members staring at him, and stepped to Kyungsoo. He picked him up into the usual hugging hold and tightened around him more than usual. His light weight easy to carry after weeks of experience.

"Hey-- what are you doing, Chanyeol, the chair needs to go down first."

Kyungsoo urged him, but Chanyeol just laughed and gave Kyungsoo's mother a wink Kyungsoo himself couldn't see before leaving the apartment and closing the door after himself.

"Chanyeol, don't tell me you plan to carry me all night long? I won't allow it, your back will die."

The boy protested, trying to poke Chanyeol in various spots on his back to force him into changing his mind. Ah, Kyungsoo is just so good.

Chanyeol just whisteled and ignored the boy in his arms, stepping down each stair slowly, almost teasingly before finally making it down to the street. Kyungsoo's view remained the opposite of his own.

"Are you ready?"

"Huh? Ready for what? Chanyeol--"

Kyungsoo continued expressing his discomfort about the situation, but Chanyeol then effortlessly placed him down onto something else, which shut him down immediately and got his eyes so wide Chanyeol wondered if they'll pop out of his face.

The view made Chanyeol's heart jump with joy.

Kyungsoo, small and adorable and dressed in a suit, sitting on a brand new shining and comfortable wheelchair. Proper arm rests, adjustable back, padded cushion to sit on, a back pocket for necessary items to carry, and brand new wheels that make no sound with each spin.

He sat there, Chanyeol easily saw how he didn't know where to look. At Chanyeol? At the wheels? At his legs positioning? At the mechanisms? He was clearly overwhelmed to the state of verbal shock.

So much so that when he attempted opening his mouth to speak no sound came out regardless of his wide eyes clearly sending a message.

Chanyeol just laughed hard, stepped close and leaned down with his suited knees on the dusty pavement, grabbing both of Kyungsoo's smaller hands in his own and squeezing them.

"Don't protest anymore. Alright? This is my graduation gift to you. I want you to have it."

He hummed calmly at the boy, noticing immediate relief in his tense shoulders and arms, but also a quick wetting process gathering in his eyes. Chanyeol just laughed again and pulled speechless Kyungsoo into a hug.

"Be happy!! It's a party night! Let's explore what we can do with this beast."

Chanyeol leaned back, playfully winking at Kyungsoo until he finally exhaled whatever air he probably hasn't even inhaled before, and laughed himself. Wordlessly, simply with the shine in his eyes, Chanyeol knew he was thanking him.

 

  
The party was also, just like graduation, a mess.

By the time Chanyeol and Kyungsoo have arrived, only mere ten minutes later than the appointed time, some of the fellow students were already dancing and drinking as if the world is about the end and it's their last day to enjoy its benefits.

Chanyeol could see a hint of excitement on Kyungsoo's expression. He was very timid and probably nervous, but a lot more comfortable and confident in his chair. It was apparent by the way he sat with his back stretched up straight instead of hunched down in shame.

Buzzing colorful lights kept bouncing around in the dark and loud music blasted all around the sports hall where the party was taking place. While Chanyeol was greeted by almost every single student he stumbled upon, Kyungsoo just kept quietly and politely rolling his way on the edge of the decorations so he wouldn't possibly bump into anyone.

Before being able to protest, Chanyeol had already been pulled into the dancing rink in the middle of the crowd, a bunch of classmates wiggled around him to the beat of the music, alcohol held in their hands and flowing in their blood.

It was fun. Chanyeol is not one to shy away from such situations. Having classmates grind against him to even challenge him to a few dancing battles, which he of course lost, but at least he enjoyed himself.

Nearly forgetting Kyungsoo until he spotted him in the corner of his eye, sitting calmly in his chair and sipping on some cup with Jongdae standing and laughing by his side. Phew... Alright. So he didn't leave him alone.

That would have been pretty shitty of him, and Chanyeol is done with being shitty to anybody.

Now a little buzzed from the constant stream of drinks being gulped, he made his way to Kyungsoo, and without hesitation bowed to him dramatically and reached out his hand in his direction.

"Would you spare me a dance?"

He asked, eyes shut in order to maintain the dramatic effect, but he could hear a few voices around them giggling and whispering from the absurity and cute nature of the situation. Chanyeol stood like this for a while, frozen in time in the middle of the crowd.

Until he felt Kyungsoo's familiar small palm finally land into his own. With a grin he immediately gripped to the hand and pulled his shy and nervous looking friend right to the middle of the rink, sliding him in between all the dancing people.

It caused a little bit of confusion, which quickly turned into a hyped uproar of excitement when one of the dancing girls began screaming at the moment a new song began playing in the background.

Everyone were shouting, dancing their souls out and getting drenched with a mix of spilled drinks and sweat. Chanyeol saw from the glimpses of lights that landed on Kyungsoo's face that he was actually having fun and letting loose himself.

Several wheelchair spins, rolls, and even shared rides later, the two were exhausted. Merrily laughing their path back towards Kyungsoo's place with their trashed suits and messy hair. Singing the stupidest part of a song from the night together all while Chanyeol carried Kyungsoo up the stairs.

Kyungsoo's mother welcomed them with relief, surprised from the chair upgrade. Yet again Chanyeol needed to go through the process of having his heart melt by one or more of the Do family members as she thanked him.

It was good. Chanyeol felt good. He slept the best he had in days that night, back at home.

 

  
They meet again the very next day. Chanyeol's parents have decided to go on a vacation, and he decided to sulk about his loneliness in the big house together with Kyungsoo in the Do apartment with ice cream and one too many bags of shrimp flavoured snacks.

Summer is slowly coming to an end, the weather is turning slightly more windy yet still hot enough to be enjoyable if one spends time outside. It's the perfect time to go anywhere one would have missed during the busy crowded summer days.

While the two of them began discussing the subject of vacations, Chanyeol had another idea spark up in his head. Watching how Kyungsoo rolls himself skillfully and quietly around the apartment, looking at the shiny metalic structure of it.. Chanyeol thought about rust.

"Kyungsoo, when was the last time you've been to the beach?"

The boy turned to him halfway through pouring himself another glass of water to battle the saltiness of the crunchy snacks.

"The beach? Hmm... Probably about eight, maybe nine years ago."

He replied after a short while of thought, smoothly sliding over the floor and back by Chanyeol's side near the edge of the couch where they always sit and hang.

Yes, it had turned into an Always now. Chanyeol has officialy become a nearly permanent resident in this apartment. A while ago he even got out of his way and washed all of the stairs leading up to the Do's clean. No more dust sticks to his soles with every climb.

"Do you have a swimsuit?"

"Surprisingly, I actually do. Back in Seoul in the hospital I was submitted into some... Water treatment thing. So I think they'd still fit me."

Kyungsoo hummed back with a smile, talking about such a grim sounding memory as if it was just another walk in the park. It still catches Chanyeol off guard when he suddenly speaks of things of this matter like they were nothing.

But in any case, that means Chanyeol's idea could actually become reality.

A smile slowly creeped up his lips as he stared at Kyungsoo absentmindedly. Not really realizing that he's doing it until he caught Kyungsoo sticking his tongue out and making his eyes big in order to make a silly face right in front of him.

Blinking surprised, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo both fell into wild laughter. This boy. He had turned from the one thing Chanyeol couldn't stand, into the one thing Chanyeol couldn't stand without. The way he somehow paved himself so deep into Chanyeol's heart is insane. But with this smile, with the heart being displayed right on Kyungsoo's lips, Chanyeol knew he was a goner.

 

  
Not much more than a couple of days later, Chanyeol came again, but this time after a bit of planning, he will be taking Kyungsoo out to revisit the memories of the sand sticking everywhere on his body until he'll regret ever wanting to get to any beach.

Taking his father's spare car used for work only, Chanyeol had driven the both of them to the beach. A ride that took about an hour and a half which was spent listening to music and laughing together at each other's cracking voices.

It was their day. Nothing will be able to ruin it, not when they rolled down their windows and began screaming out the wrong lyrics, getting hit in the face with salty sea wind reaching them from their destination.

Chanyeol parked easily, the beach was definitely not vacant, but not too crowded either. Easily noticable that the end of the summer is near, since the amount of children on the shoreline was very small.

After pulling the wheelchair out of the car's trunk, Chanyeol seated Kyungsoo down with a grin and began piling their bags one after another onto his legs like a shelf. Making the two of them laugh from the productivity and hilarity of the advantage.

As they approached the sandy area by the water, Chanyeol began piling the bags over his arms like a large hanger, vaguely gesturing up towards the lifeguard's direction in his high cabin's balcony, the man cheerfully agreed with a nod to watch over the wheelchair that'll be left behind at the edge of the cement trail.

Carrying all the bags on his arms, and Kyungsoo cradled in between his arms was tough work, by the time he reached a good spot on the sand he was already feeling the sweat stick to his back, which luckily the salty wind dried off pretty quickly.

Gently he sat Kyungsoo down on the sand, getting distracted by his giggles while attempting to spread out the large sheet they've brought with them to sit on. He struggled quite a lot until two random passangers on the beach came to his assitance and left with a smile after understading the source of his struggle.

Finally, down and set, the two of them sat calmly on the picnic mat, and although the entire ocean spread right in front of them almost like they were alone, Chanyeol's eyes were locked on his friend.

How he looked at the view with awe and admiration, enjoying every bit of sun on his still unhealthy pale skin, allowing the wind to drabble the little bit of hair that already managed to grow since his last haircut. Chanyeol could see he was smiling to himself from hearing the joyful shouts of the few children located around them.

This won't do, Chanyeol is just too happy to sit and spend the time doing nothing. With a grin, Chanyeol towered up, casting a shadow down at his friend as he pulled off his shirt and offered his hand to him.

"Come on! Let's get to the fun part!"

Very shyly and cautiously his insider friend proceeded to remove his own shirt. Exposing his small thin figure, and a constellation of moles all over his back. A trail that Chanyeol really wouldn't mind exploring from up close if it wouldn't be considered creepy at this stage of their connection.

Unlike the usual way Chanyeol holds Kyungsoo in his arms to get up and down the stairs, this time chanyeol held Kyungsoo's back and legs, allowing him to sit in his arms almost like a newly wed couple would be caught in photos.

 

  
Chanyeol takes them both into the water, not bothering to waste time in the shallow parts, he gets right in to the depth where Kyungsoo's body would be able to easily float around without dragging anything behind.

He released Kyungsoo with a smile, allowing him to experience the gentle waves while diving his whole body under the water, just to rise back up and swipe his soaking hair backwards and away from his face with a grin.

Although Kyungsoo could easily roam around and swim on his own, he ended up clinging to Chanyeol's shoulders like a koala from behind, wrapping his arms gently over Chanyeol's much wider shoulders and laughing when he decided to swim around and give him a ride on his back.

They splashed some water, carefully so nobody's eyes would burn, Chanyeol told Kyungsoo about his embarrassing childhood beach related stories, and in return Kyungsoo poured the same sort of memories.

Eventually, after possible hours in the water, Chanyeol realized that their position had changed into something else. Something more intimate.

Kyungsoo's arms hugged around his neck warmly, his head resting comfortably right beside Chanyeol's ear, and Chanyeol's arms were wrapped around Kyungsoo's narrow waist, stroking his back up and down slowly along with the motion of the waves.

They didn't talk. The only things Chanyeol could hear other than the gentle hum of the waves, were Kyungsoo's slow and relaxed breathing pattern right beside him, and his own heart.

Their bodies were close, touching skin to skin with only water and salt separating them by the particles. It was warm. It was perfect. Chanyeol moured internally when Kyungsoo pulled his head back and suggested to head out of the water.

Instead of back to their picnic mat, Chanyeol seats them both on the muddy part of the sand. Right between the dry parts and the actual waves. After grinning at confused Kyungsoo, he begins digging down into the wet sand and pile the remains up in a mountain.

It took Kyungsoo a few seconds to catch up on the intention, but when he did the two of them turned into a very efficient sand castle building machine together.

Chanyeol was in bliss. So happy for himself, but also happy because Kyungsoo was happy. So happy that he nearly completely forgot about his own legs for the entire duration of their visit so far.

Lost in thought, and in his gaze at Kyungsoo, Chanyeol didn't even see the wave that's getting larger and larger and heading straight in their direction. Only when he saw Kyungsoo's eyes widen towards the sea he finally returned to reality and saw their castle's enemy.

"Oh-- No no no noooo!"

He let out helpless whimpers when their creation was hit by the destructive salty wave. For a few seconds the two of them sang silent prayers in their hearts for the imaginary fallen soldiers who occupied their sand kingdom.

And the next moment the two locked their eyes together and began laughing almost hysterically from their own state of utter delight.

At least they were more dry, so when heading back to their spot Chanyeol had no trouble wrapping Kyungsoo in a large towel before drying himself. They sat together and ate a few snacks from their bags, watching the last rays of sun bounce against the calm water.

 

  
Chanyeol gestured a grateful bow and a wave of goodbye to the kind lifeguard who watched over Kyungsoo's chair, that remained exactly how they left it hours ago on the cement trail.

On the drive back to Kyungsoo's place the boy remained wrapped in the towel, he also remained with his eyes closed due to being lightly asleep in a soft nap against the backened seat next to Chanyeol.

It was a little difficult for Chanyeol to focus on the road when hints of red and purple sun kept shining the glow of Kyungsoo's face and features so beautifully. How on earth was he able to hate on such purity without even knowing it exists?

By the time they arrived back to the Do residence it was already late in the evening. Kyungsoo remained sleepy, weakly clinging onto Chanyeol as he got carried up the stairs and towards the apartment.

The door opened after Chanyeol's two knocks, and in front of him stood a man who he could only assume was Kyungsoo's father. The assumption was correct, because at the moment he saw them he smiled and allowed them inside.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, both sun kissed and dripping salt and sand, were exhausted but happy.

Before Chanyeol had turned around to leave after placing Kyungsoo down, he felt a tug on his hand, only to find out Kyungsoo was holding both of his arms upwards almost needily, wordlessly requesting another hug.

Without a second of hesitation Chanyeol laughed and leaned down, wrapping around Kyungsoo's body and burying their chests against one another, soft and warm and gentle. Kyungsoo is so fragile and Chanyeol's heart was dancing with joy from the determination of wanting to keep this precious treasure all to himself.

Chanyeol at that moment started wondering if maybe he's more than just crushing on the boy in his arms.

  
  
  



	12. Chapter 12

  
  


  
Technically, today is the last day of summer.

It's still green, hot and pleasant outside, windy just in the right temperature to almost imitate the spring between the summer's draught and autumn's slow wilting.

Chanyeol already knew he wanted to do this for a while.

Somehow, between meeting Kyungsoo, applying for a new job in order to receive his already existing house from his parents, and spending time with Baekhyun and Jongdae on university's ground, Chanyeol had accepted the fact that he became a new person.

Starting university as a selfish heartless prick, and ending with a heart so large that his kindness and love drip down through the seams of his sleeves and onto whoever comes in contact with him.

It's so much better to share. To give, to express and explore, rather than to hole up in front of an imaginary world where he was the king of an unruly kingdom.

He used to imagine he rises taller and larger than anybody else because he is closer to some powerful beings in the sky. Better than normal people who stay stuck to the ground while he hovers around, towering above their mortal beings with pride.

And now, his planned activity for today involves staying as close as possible to the earth.

Now it came to the point where he feels himself small and weak whenever Kyungsoo crosses his mind. Which happens often, because along with becoming a new person Chanyeol had also accepted the fact that he's in love.

Even while being fully aware of the fact that he was crushing on Kyungsoo for pretty well over almost two months, it took a few days of internal reflection to realize that his heart lays with the hands of a man he never thought he'd know exists.

"Hi."

He grins at his friend once the door was opened in front of him. Gladly, without any creaking of an old weary chair.

"I'm going to take you somewhere special today!"

Chanyeol exposed his toothy wide smile and raised his hand which is carrying a small bag containing a water bottle.

His friend chuckled with just as wide of a smile, a shape of a heart that haunts Chanyeol's sweetest dreams, and nodded his head in approval. Of course he would agree. It wasn't even a question of whether Kyungsoo agrees or not. It was a statement.

Chanyeol already knew he'd be taking Kyungsoo with him no matter what he might say in order to protest, because today is just right for this sort of activity outside, and it'd be a good self boasting conversation starter once they're on their way.

After easily carrying the new chair down the stairs to the street, and then Chanyeol's favourite boy down to the chair in his arms, Chanyeol hung the bag in the little carriage compartment attached to the bottom of the chair.

The middle of the day was hot and sunny, but not unbearable enough to make either of them sweat.

"So~ Today I'll be taking you to a spot I actually visit quite often."

He began explaining while the two are crossing some streets and slowly approaching the very edge of the city.

"It's not much of a secret.. Or actually, not that special either, but I think you'd like the change of scenery."

"Oh?"

Kyungsoo's face turned to him with wonder. The curiousity and shine in his eyes will always be one of Chanyeol's little treasured moments. Kyungsoo's so small and the world is so big and Chanyeol wants to show him every bit of it.

"Yup. With skies like today it's going to be nice. Plus there are barely any people out, so that's to our advantage."

He finishes the brief listing of positive reasons as to why this would be great. He already knows it would be. Chanyeol maybe have opened his heart, but his confidence remains exactly the same. Highly maintained.

 

  
It was at this point at the very edge of their little city where the asphalt road took a slight shift to the left and turned into a thinner dirt path where it seems like no cars can pass without special meneuvers.

Chanyeol knows this place well, he isn't alarmed when stepping onto the slightly bumpy path and smiling back at Kyungsoo who manages to roll himself over the uneven ground with cautiousness.

Large tall trees covered in still green leaves towered on both sides of the path, leading up towards a curve in the road. For Chanyeol it was easy to walk, but after a while of rolling himself forward it seemed like Kyungsoo's stamina was starting to falter.

"You okay?"

Chanyeol asked in his direction, slowing down and walking by his side. He could see a little bit of sweat coating the boy's forehead when he huffed after another turn of the wheels. He didn't really respond.

With a small chuckle Chanyeol placed himself behind the chair and began pushing Kyungsoo. It wasn't difficult, Chanyeol's strength was enough to succeed without breaking a sweat himself.

They continued on the trail, Chanyeol helping from behind allowing Kyungsoo to rest a little after the effort. Until they reached the end of the slightly stable unmarked road and were faced with a bunch of rocks that can't be passed with wheels.

Kyungsoo turned to look at Chanyeol confused and worried, needing no words to describe that he's afraid it'd be too much effort for Chanyeol to carry him or the chair any further.

"Maybe we shouldn't..? I can wait here if you'd like to continue."

The boy suggested, making Chanyeol burst out in laughter. What kind of option is that. Chanyeol wanted to bring specifially him to this place and now he offers to stay behind? Chanyeol won't let him give up on it.

Instead, Chanyeol picked Kyungso up in his arms, the boy automatically clinging around him like a koala while he grabbed the chair with his hand and pulled it behind him while climbing up the slope.

At some point he places the chair on the side of the unmarked pretty much abandoned looking path he knows so well, and continued upwards. Somehow along the way Kyungsoo's position shifted to cling on Chanyeol from behind, much like a backpack.

Sometimes glancing sideways at Kyungsoo's curious expression while he examines the view of the forest looking more and more natural, untouched by human development around them the further up they go on Chanyeol's trail, Chanyeol chuckles lightly.

"I actually used to run this path a lot. Tracking all the way up quickly, spending some time there, and then running back down and back to uni."

He explained, noticing the immediate ease on Kyungsoo's face, as if he just answered a question he didn't really dare to ask.

It was a little more difficult to carry Kyungsoo on his back like this than it was to push the chair forward earlier, sweat slowly starts sticking to his back due to the heat provided by both their bodies so close together.

Past Chanyeol would have complained and whined about this entire thing from the very beginning, but today's Chanyeol can't even utter a sound since he knows Kyungsoo must be feeling bad enough for being such a heavy weight to carry.

Which is absolutely not ture, considering en entire half of his body is nearly weightless, and the other half is as slim as a skeleton. That's actually a good point to think about. Maybe when they're back Chanyeol should treat him to a proper dinner for once.

What started as a thick forest is slowly thinning down, there are less and less trees the higher they get, until they reach higher than the tallest treetops. Where there's beautiful untouched grass and flowers grazed by the pleasant wind blowing against them.

A few more steps up to the very top of the hill, and Chanyeol gently placed Kyungsoo on the grass, stretching himself with a silent grunt before sitting down next to him with a small relieved smile.

 

  
Then his eyes turned to look at his friend, crush, anything in between, and it really couldn't have been more of a beautiful view than this. The boy was staring all around them with his wide eyes, filled with his innocent wonder and awe.

"We're here."

Chanyeol finally broke the silence, cupping Kyungsoo's small hand between his own two big ones while smiling at him calmly.

And yet the way he turned to look back at him, with so much emotion and affection and warmth was like another arrow straight into Chanyeol's heart.

With glistening eyes and a heart shaped smile, he tightened his palm's grip in between Chanyeol's hands and chuckled in delight, looking like an actual angel with the little bit of sunlight shining through his hair.

"Thank you, Chanyeolie."

It was silent after that. Neither of them wanted or felt the need to talk. They stared around at the view of the city behind them, the view of the forest lying in front of them, the fields and roads all around, at distant neighbouring towns peeking behind a few more hills.

Until simultaneously falling back on the grass and looking up at the sky. Eyes following the clouds floating lazily with the wind.

It was quiet. Nothing can harm them there, nothing can harm Kyungsoo. The world cannot be cruel to him when lying like this on the grass and pointing out shapes in the clouds, giggling like it was the first time he's got the chance to experience such a feeling.

Maybe it really was.

They laughed and talked quietly, there was no need to raise their voices while lying so close next to each other.

At some point Chanyeol felt Kyungsoo's hand climb on top of his own, and cling onto it. Smiling, he crossed their fingers together tightly, exchanging their feelings through the touch instead of words while just breathing.

Eventually, Chanyeol drifted into sleep.

Dreaming that he was a bird again. A bird that's flying above the two of them in the sky, looking down at their relaxed bodies and shut eyes and the bits of hair that keeps blowing over their faces because of the wind.

He flapped his large feathered wings and climbed higher, remaining above the same spot until he was so up there that the clouds covered the vision of themselves. It was beautiful and pleasant, and Chanyeol wondered if seeing Kyungsoo like this inside his own dreams has any meaning.

 

  
The next time Chanyeol opens his eyes in the real world, no longer a bird once again, the sky is slowly turning orange above him. Clouds shaded in pink and purple drift along with the wind that left a few strands of hair right on his eyes.

After a short yawn, some internal stretches, and a few smacks of his lips together to regain sensations around his body, Chanyeol turned his head sideways, knowing that Kyungsoo must be napping cutely right beside him. He wouldn't miss that view for the world.

Except, Kyungsoo isn't there.

Nobody is lying beside him on the soft grass. He's alone at the top of the hill.

Chanyeol's heart dropped right away, he jumped up to his feet, almost losing balance due to the quick shift in his body's stability, and started looking around, wandering over the entire considerably small hill top.

"Kyungsoo?! Kyungsoo where are you?!"

He began shouting, his voice hoarse from lack of usage but also from the stress that pushes against the inside of his throat along with his increasing pulse speed that starts thumping in his head.

Feeling the blood pumping quickly through his veins, Chanyeol decided to think rationally. There is no way anybody took Kyungsoo away. They were the only two people coming to this area at all. Maybe Kyungsoo needed to pee?

No, he wouldn't have gone so far away for that. He would have been able to hear Chanyeol calling his name.

In front of the spot where the two of them were sitting and then lying on the grass, there was a pretty slippery slope down that breaks into treetops of the forest resting below. There's no way he... Fell down there... Right?

If he fell like that he would most likely shout and wake Chanyeol up immediately. But he didn't hear anything even in his light sleep of the nap. It must mean Kyungsoo intended to leave his spot without waking Chanyeol up in the process.

Chanyeol can't allow anything to happen to him.

The world has already been so cruel, too cruel to Kyungsoo, and his heart is aching just from the thought of Kyungsoo possibly being put in yet another terrible situation where he'll be unfairly pained even more.

With absolute panic and fear Chanyeol began running back down the track of which they came from, hoping that maybe Kyungsoo would be somewhere around even in this unknown area to him. Long and slightly wobbly steps led Chanyeol through the descend into the forest, nearly stumbling down from a few sticking out roots and curves in the ground.

Kyungsoo has to be okay. Chanyeol is responsible to him, Chanyeol took him out, it means Kyungsoo was under Chanyeol's care, and yet he wasn't careful enough to keep Kyungsoo safe and happy. So much so that Kyungsoo decided to somehow leave.

Or was it his decision? Chanyeol could only hope.

More and more awful scenarios keep running through his head, even bringing the dark tales of Chris Lee back to the surface with the possibility of the two of them still being stalked even after his father took care of the case.

No, there's no way.

With furrowed eyebrows and heavy breathes Chanyeol trumpled down the path as fast as his legs would allow. Spotting nothing even similar to Kyungsoo's remains and receiving no answers when shouting out his name in every direction.

Until he reached the little bit of dirt road they passed after discarding of the wheelchair only a little ahead in the path after the curve. There were dragging tracks on the ground, no footprints, no hand prints, nothing except what looks like dragging trail of something heavy and two shoes right after.

Was... Was Kyungsoo kidnapped after all?

Chanyeol's heart falls down in his chest and then rises up to twice of its previous speed at the thought of Kyungsoo being harmed by anything. Out of everyone, why him?

 

  
He nearly jumps over the ridge of the curve in the path, landing on his feet somehow without falling straight on his face, and a silent moment of stabilizing himself, Chanyeol raises his eyes for the rest of the path, seeing the continuation of the dragging tracks are leading to something on the ground.

Rushed steps lead him closer and closer to the source, until suddenly it calls out to him.

"Chanyeol! You're awake!"

It was Kyungsoo. On the ground. Pulling himself up the path with his hands digging into the filthy gravel while his legs are getting dragged behind him. He's heading towards Chanyeol's direction up the hill instead of down as well.

The first thing Chanyeol felt was relief, he ran to the boy, noticing his wide smile regardless of being covered in dirt all through the lower half of his body. The second thing Chanyeol felt is remorse.

How could he have fallen asleep without making sure Kyungsoo wouldn't be needing anything? While it was easy for Chanyeol to rush down the path and get to the main trail it must have taken Kyungsoo at least three times longer, and the process must have been a hundred times more painful.

Chanyeol reached him quickly and leaned down, taking both of Kyungsoo's hands in his own, not really caring whether or not he'll be covered with dirt himself. As he picked the hands up gently he noticed the amount of little cuts and bruises coating the palms.

"Kyungsoo... Oh my god. What did you do? Why did you go away?"

He asked, his voice quite weak from the storm of emotions and quick heart beat shaking him with every breath he takes.

"You should have woken me up."

He then adds with a bit more seriousness, his eyes still wide, brows still furrowed, and Kyungsoo still half sprawled on the ground. At the very least, Kyungsoo is safe. Nobody tried to harm him. Chanyeol could take comfort in that while attempting to calm down.

Still with a smile, and still on the gravel, Kyungsoo pulls one hand backwards and fiddles with something. Chanyeol glances over him and notices something was tied inside his shirt. Confused, he stares at Kyungsoo's fingers.

Until Kyungsoo finally manages to pull out a water bottle from the knot and hand it to Chanyeol with a renewed smile.

Chanyeol knows that he should be grateful, and smile, and thank Kyungsoo for giving it to him, but instead he feels a terrible painful sting right at the core of his stomach. It's not because of any physical change he's going through.

It's because Kyungsoo doesn't even realize his own worth and value. Willing to drag himself all over the dirty ground in order to give Chanyeol some water...? Just how selfless is he? From the condition of the bottle it seems he hasn't even opened it to drink anything himself.

With that sharp strike to Chanyeol's consciousness, he didn't even realize his vision started getting blurry with wetness spreading in his eyes.

Silently, he accepted the bottle. But then he placed it aside and wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo, pulling him close and so very tightly into his arms protectively, while burying his face in the gap between Kyungsoo's neck and shoulder.

Kyungsoo is too much.

"Huh? Chanyeol? What's wrong?"

He sighed heavily down into Kyungsoo's body and began stroking the back of his head, wrapped around him closely. Does he seriously not understand that someone actually cares for him? Or maybe Chanyeol is being way too scared about something trivial?

Honestly, it doesn't matter, because even if it's ignorant of Chanyeol to think that, he really would rather not really see Kyungsoo do such things on his own. Normally he really wouldn't dare stop him from being independent... But not like this.

Not when it comes with the price of his palms and legs being tattered due to being dragged on sharp gravel and dirt.

"I was really worried... Not seeing you there with me. I freaked out. You really should have told me..."

He speaks grainily, feeling how Kyungsoo's hands on his back are very cautious of touching in fear of possibly dirtying his clothes. Why is he like this... How was his heart supposed to resist falling for a person like Kyungsoo.

"It's alright, I can take care of myself. See? I got you the water bottle from the chair."

Kyungsoo responded with a sense of pride, as if to prove a point. But what does he even have to prove? Chanyeol knows he's greater than any human he's ever met. He knows he's stronger than him no matter how muscly he'll try to become. He already knows that Kyungsoo definitely doesn't seek any pity.

"Mmmyes. I get it... I'm sorry."

He admits honestly with another deep sigh before feeling Kyungsoo pull back lightly. Fearing that he might have done something wrong, he leans back and braces himself to get scolded by the angel half sitting in his lap.

But instead, when he makes eye contact with Kyungsoo, all he sees is a shine of happiness and a smile. Only a moment later he felt Kyungsoo's hand gently resting against his cheek and wiping his cheek in an affectionate way, while Kyungsoo looks at him with warmth.

His heart jumped yet again, eyes wide with the surprise, but a lot less stressed. Kyungsoo is... Kyungsoo is stroking his cheek just like that. Chanyeol wants to kiss him so bad. He wants to pull him in and feel just how soft the pink heart on his face would be.

The stronger the desire turns within these very few short seconds, the more Chanyeol's convinced that his cheeks and ears are turning red. Their faces are fairly close and he really, REALLY, wants more.

Until he notices Kyungsoo's eyes suddenly growing wide before crickling into crescents of laughter again and pulling his palms back and away from Chanyeol, who's still wrapped around his sides.

"Woops."

The boy claims with laughter before trying to pull his sleeve forward and starting to wipe over Chanyeol's cheek with it.

Oh, right, his hands were covered in dirt. He must have forgotten about it when touching Chanyeol's face. But that's okay. It's all okay now.

Chanyeol burst into laughter as well and decided to carry the smear like a battle scar instead. Grabbing Kyungsoo up in the air in quick motions and starting to run to his chair in order to return back so they could clean up properly and treat Kyungsoo's palms and legs.

After carrying Kyungsoo back to the chair, and on their way back to Kyungsoo's apartment through the nearly empty streets, the boy kept talking about how beautiful the view was, and how much better it felt than watching 'all these nature shows' on TV.

There is so much more in the world that Chanyeol would want Kyungsoo to see and experience.

The world has always been against Kyungsoo, and now it's Chanyeol's chance to make this place a little less horrible for him. For the boy who stole his heart, shook it really well, and turned it from a rotten organ into gold.

When they arrived they were surprised to know that neither of Kyungsoo's parents were home yet. But keeping Kyungsoo in the dirty state that he is might cause infections that his body would have trouble dealing with.

So after a while of debate within himself whether or not to offer his assistance in cleaning up, Kyungsoo was actually the one stopping his conflict by asking for help in the shower. Shyly, but bravely. It takes a lot of strength to admit that one needs help.

During the washing process, rather than being embarrassed, Chanyeol tried to work efficiently and carefully, allowing Kyungsoo to do almost eveything on his own while getting lost in thought.

When Chanyeol was the one who needed help, months ago after leaving on bad terms from the Do residence, it took him almost three weeks of being a weakling and not admitting that he needed help, until Jongdae came and forced him to it.

While Kyungsoo, who's been dealing with something much more difficult than struggling with his own selfishness, has already learned that sometimes being strong means admitting that you aren't. And seeking others' strength.

Kyungsoo is just so incredible.

He's wonderful when he smells like soap and shampoo. When he wears his pajamas and looks down at his own palms almost helplessly when Chanyeol uses gentle dabs of iodine to clean up the scratches and plaster down some bandaids.

He's adorable when slowly falling asleep against Chanyeol's shouler while they sat on the couch together in front of the TV in the living room.

Even more so when his mother came and began smiling from the sight of Chanyeol's own arm stroking over sleeping Kyungsoo's back and side.

Chanyeol is doomed.

This boy turned from being excesss trash in his world, into being his world itself.

  
  
  



	13. Chapter 13

 

  
Chanyeol had already made up his mind by now.

He knows that deep down he will be truly heartbroken if Kyungsoo refuses him, declines his offers, rejects him. The fear of possibly becoming another obstacle in Kyungsoo's life is growing day by day.

There's a feeling residing in him that Chanyeol himself is the one taking advantage of Kyungsoo for his own sake. Because it just makes Chanyeol feel so damn good to be around him. To spend time with him, to care for him.

Chanyeol really doesn't know much about the whole 'caring' business, even if he's been enjoying the sensation after realizing what kind of happiness he feels in exchange of giving and doing something good, instead of doing something selfish that'll benefit him momentarily.

It's true that he's very attached to Kyungsoo now, after having been turned and changed into what he is right now in the span of a few months of apparently good influence from the boy, he's just really scared of possibly parting away from him.

His little sunshine. His small and adorable source of happiness with heart shaped lips and thick rimmed glasses and the softest hair in the world.

He's also afraid that the only reason Kyungsoo agrees to be this close to him at all is because he simply doesn't have anybody else willing to be close with him.

And when one's got nothing, any option that comes by works.

Chanyeol's been proven many times in the past month, every time they met, how wrong he is to think that Kyungsoo shares even a tiny bit of Chanyeol's own old selfish way of thinking. But he just can't help it.

The further he falls for the boy, the more stressed he gets about the fact that it might all be happening only because it's 'convenient' for Kyungsoo, and so very easy for Chanyeol to exploit.

On one hand, he misses Kyungsoo's presence every second he spends without him. On the other hand, he won't be able to continue seeing Kyungsoo and spending time with him if his feelings keep rising like this. It makes his heart ache with his selfish all needy self.

He doesn't want to impose himself onto Kyungsoo. He doesn't want to force Kyungsoo into their connection. And even though Kyungsoo always proves him that the longing feeling is mutual, Chanyeol's afraid he might be spilling over the boundaries of friendship.

He was sure he'd be able to hold back, he was sure the crush on the boy would pass, because really, how did it even come to this point. His entire life had changed and he can't even imagine slipping back into old habits.

Wouldn't Kyungsoo hate him if he allows himself to push through and expose the truth? Wouldn't he be creeped out? Feel like he's been used for Chanyeol's benefit? Wouldn't he hate Chanyeol?

Either way it's not like he can just suddenly stop his heart from feeling things towards Kyungsoo. Even though he is theoretically willing to go on like this forever as long as Kyungsoo remains happy, he knows it's an unrealistic expectation of himself.

Just like he learned from Kyungsoo, true strength is knowing when one isn't strong enough to face something. True strength is knowing when to ask for help.

In this case, the help Chanyeol needs is not exactly from anybody else, but rather from his own confidence.

 

  
One stair up. How will he tell him?

Five stairs up. What words would he use?

Fourteen stairs up. What if he says it wrong?

Twenty stairs up. Would he be happy?

Twenty nine stairs up. Would he be sad?

Thirty six stairs up. Would he feel the same?

Thirty seven stairs up, two knocks on the door and a smile.

Chanyeol doesn't care. Because his heart is fully occupied with the sunshine beaming at him from the wheelchair behind the apartment's door, and honestly, nothing else matters.

After the beach and the trip up the hill, Chanyeol could see little freckles have appeared on Kyungsoo's face. Which was the most adorable thing in the world. It must have been thanks to the exposure to the sun during these days. He made a mental note to remember to take Kyungsoo out more often. Or well, at least when there's a sun in the sky.

Autumn is getting closer, and together with the warmer looking yet colder feeling tone of the sky, came the orange at the tops of the trees in the town. The university's taken a whole new appearance on itself already as well.

Chanyeol is still rooming with Jongdae. The two of them have already graduated and yet the university allows the students to remain under their roof for a whole year afterwards. Taking this to their advantage, they started looking for a proper job with their set of skills.

Jongdae has received many offers so far for his desired profession and together with Baekhyun's help he's checking all the possibilities.

Chanyeol is a little more lucky. Coming from a more stable background, to say the least, he knows a house is waiting for him alone right near his parents at the moment he finds a steady working place.

He's been looking into some professions that have something to do with development. Either medical or machinary. Chanyeol takes pride in his motor skills and would love to put it into practice somewhere that'll benefit the world.

Or well, somewhere that'll benefit the world for people like Kyungsoo, who pretty much depend on inventions and improvement of technology in order to hopefully easily merge with 'normal' society.

Earlier today he actually got a reply for one of his applications, saying they are actually looking for someone with his abilities in order to learn the job properly and sooner or later replace that company's main worker.

So his arranged plans for today came in very handy for the sake of delivering the news.

Kyungsoo was smiling up at him with ease, and without much delay already reached his arms up in order to wrap himself around Chanyeol and be taken down to the street and later into Chanyeol's father's car.

 

  
"So, are you nervous to meet my parents?"

Chanyeol asked, eyes on the road even though Kyungsoo sitting by his side dressed with clearly the best clothes he owns is way more distracting.

"Not really, should I be nervous?"

The boy turned to look at him a little surprised, curious eyes behind the thick rimmed glasses that honestly wouldn't match anyone in the world other than Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol laughed lightly and shook his head. There is no reason to be nervous. Chanyeol's parents already know more about Kyungsoo than he'd be able to tell them himself, probably. They know who he is, what he is to Chanyeol, and just how much he means to him too.

Kyungsoo was the reason for Chanyeol's change, and thanks to that he came back in closer contact with his parents after the three university years of selfish laziness from his side compared to their worried and caring yet slightly strict nature.

"Nope. Just making sure."

Kyungsoo doesn't even know that his new wheelchair was actually Chanyeol's graduation gift from his parents. It doesn't matter if he knows or not because Chanyeol would have done it all over again if he was given the option without regrets.

Even if it means he has no car of his own yet. Ah, really, Chanyeol's so used to his privileges that only when he's around Kyungsoo and his... Well, lack of these, he realizes just how meaningful all of these advantages are.

In the hands of his friend, rests a small box filled with Kyungsoo's mother own cooking. Sort of a small gift for Chanyeol's family for their upcoming dinner meeting. Except it's a lot earlier than dinner time.

Which must mean that Chanyeol's parents will actually still be cooking when they arrive in mere five minutes. That's fine. It's homey. Chanyeol have spent countless days in the Do apartment while cooking was taking place.

They've parked and Chanyeol as always, carefully transferred Kyungsoo back into his shiny chair before they went through the gate and walked over the pathway to the house slowly. Chanyeol with hands in his pockets, and Kyungsoo looking at the beautiful almost natural looking garden with interest.

At times like these Chanyeol was glad that there were no stairs anywhere in the house. And yes, he had already made sure with his parents that his own house would have none of these either. Actually, the house they have purchased already had no stairs to begin with, so Chanyeol was relieved.

There will be other times to meddle in his own house. For now he should focus on passing today's meeting without problems. Not that any of them are expected to happen, but since Chanyeol's heart has turned warm and soft he finds himself worrying more than he ever knew he could. About things he never knew he would.

He opened the door for them with his key and allowed Kyungsoo inside first. Locking it behind them and stretching while taking his shoes off.

"Mommm~ We're here~!"

He called out, noticing Kyungsoo was surprised from the casuality of the call before chuckling.

"Come here I'll take yours off too. No shoes in this house my friend."

Chanyeol gestured for him, and Kyungsoo quickly turned around towards leaning down Chanyeol and laughed, watching how Chanyeol's large hands carefully slid off his shoes. The noise of feet stepping on the floor started approaching them.

"Ah! Hello boys~"

"Hey mom, what's for dinner?"

His mother smiled brightly, Chanyeol knew that the crinkles around his own eyes when he smiles came from her too.

"Good question, I was just deciding with your father."

She looked back at him with a bit of a spark before turning to look at Kyungsoo who sat timidly in his chair, hands tugging lightly to the fabric of his pants. There is no need to hide them under any blankets at this point.

"Mom, this is Kyungsoo."

"Aahhh, THE Kyungsoo!"

His mother clapped her hands into a grip together with warmth, trailing her eyes over Kyungsoo's chair. Chanyeol saw the little jump in her body at the moment she realized he is using the chair Chanyeol requested as a graduation gift.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you."

He responded shyly, bowing his head and shaking her hand with a small soft smile. Very Kyungsoo-like to be this gentle around friendly people.

"Say, Kyungsoo, I've heard that you are a very good cook. What'd you say about helping us out in the kitchen?"

"Mom-- Really?"

Chanyeol asked with slight disbelief before sighing when he noticed Kyungsoo's eyes sparking up from the interest in the offer. How is he supposed to protest? Kyungsoo clearly would enjoy doing it.

Even though Chanyeol had slightly different plans to take care of before dinner took place, he's not going to be a selfish prick and deprive Kyungsoo, and his mother, apparently, from doing something they'd most likely enjoy doing together.

Plus, it's never bad to have his precious friend get buddy-buddy with his mother. Just like Chanyeol has become Kyungsoo's mother good pal. It's only natural for the same process to happen in his house as well.

 

  
So they've all moved to the kitchen. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol's mother already blabbering about different dishes and meals that the elder couple had thought of as options for their feast in the evening.

Taking a seat down on one of the kitchen island's bar stools, Chanyeol rested his elbow on the surface of the counter, and his head on top of his palm. Watching how His mother and Kyungsoo are already chuckling while cutting some ingredients together.

"Hey."

His father greeted him with a small smile and took a seat beside him. Chanyeol didn't even bother removing his eyes from Kyungsoo, just hummed with a small smile as a greeting in return.

"So that's the reason you asked for a wheelchair as a gift?"

"Yup."

The man then turned to look at the two cooks in the kitchen and smiles himself, a sight Chanyeol was not expecting to see.

"It's the kid you got into the fight for."

"Yup."

His father's smile only grew until he turned into a low and pleasant chuckle. He rubbed Chanyeol's back in a rough loving way over the counter before nodding at him with something Chanyeol wasn't sure, but looked like pride.

"Good."

Did... His father just approve of Kyungsoo? This easily? So fast? He was sure it'd take at least an entire long dinner conversation for his father to actually agree to smile at all, let alone be this glad that Chanyeol got into a fight.

Chanyeol just laughed, watching how his father approached the kitchen himself, gently tapping Kyungsoo's shoulder and introducing himself with an aura so warm Chanyeol could feel it all the way behind the counter.

What is it about Kyungsoo that melts everybody's hearts around him? It's crazy. Maybe Chanyeol's a victim of some witchcraft. A magical spell cast upon the boy to be the loveliest man alive.

Kyungsoo looks comfortable. Using kitchen tools that he probably never had the chance to try or even knew existed at all while being stuck at home. Chanyeol's mother taught him how to roll out some dough, and in return he showed her a trick about cutting onions twice as fast.

At some point, while Chanyeol was daydreaming about a future where Kyungsoo will be able to roam freely in a house big enough and proper enough to satisfy all of his wishes and desires, he noticed Kyungsoo slowly rolling over towards him.

"Hm?"

"Try this."

Without allowing him a chance to protest, Kyungsoo raises his hand up and shoved a spoonful of sauce into his mouth, making Chanyeol blink in surprise for a few moments before wrapping his lips around the spoon and allowing Kyungsoo to pull back.

"Is it good?"

He allowed the sauce to reach every curve of his mouth before swallowing and licking over his lips with a grin and giving Kyungsoo a thumb up, exposing his toothy smile.

"It's great!"

But Kyungsoo suddenly covered his own mouth with his palm and began giggling, pointing towards his own teeth after as if to sign something to Chanyeol, who quickly understood the gesture and began laughing himself.

Great. He had a piece of spice stuck in his teeth while smiling widely at Kyungsoo. How ridiculous. Well, who cares. It was delicious, it was worth it, Kyungsoo laughed and he laughed and his teeth were already clean again by the time Kyungsoo rolled back to the cooking pots.

 

  
Eventually they all sat down to eat happily. The atmosphere was pleasant, warm and welcoming. Chanyeol spoke about the times he used to bring papers to Kyungsoo, how confused he was from the entire situation and how much he regrets doing some of the things he did.

Kyungsoo interrupted him in the middle, surprising everyone at the table as he explained how different the situation was from his point of view.

How grateful he was that even though he knew the task was hard for Chanyeol to do, he still came every week with the papers to deliver them. How happy he was when Chanyeol brought him ice cream. How much it meant to him when Chanyeol came back and continued visiting him even without needing to deliver any papers at all.

Chanyeol could feel the heat reach his cheeks and ears, switching between staring at Kyungsoo's confidence and staring at his own surprised parents from hearing every event in more details. They looked overjoyed by the time Kyungsoo finished talking. Giving Chanyeol looks of satisfaction and delight.

In return for Kyungsoo's exposure about Chanyeol, including their adventures to the hair salon, the beach and the forest coated hill, Chanyeol's mother began telling tales about Chanyeol's past as a child.

If he wasn't sure whether theres a blush on his cheeks and ears before, now he knew it was definitely present. So embarrassing. He tried everything to make her stop, changing to subject, making other jokes, trying to talk himself, but it didn't stop her passionate exchange with curious and giggly Kyungsoo.

God. Classic parents.

Something in Chanyeol was actually kind of glad about this whole situation taking place, because from the fondness in his mother's words, and in Kyungsoo's eyes as he listened, he almost felt like things fit in a little too well.

Wouldn't it be the best thing in the world if such nice evenings could happen more frequently? If Chanyeol accepts the job and moves to his assigned house he could bring Kyungsoo over very often to spend time with the family.

Maybe it isn't too bad that Kyungsoo knows all these embarrassing old stories. Because Chanyeol really loves his laughter. And the sparkle in his eyes when he smiles at something he adores.

Knowing that Kyungsoo as fast as one meeting had already developed a connection with his family is pretty reassuring.

Thinking that actually brought back the memory of the news he'd planned on sharing over the table.

So once his mother was done embarrassing for the rest of his life with Kyungsoo in it, he finally brought the subject up and announced the job offer he had received. Earning a round of applause from all three of the other table fellows.

"Nothing is certain yet, they invited me for an interview next week. But they did say they were looking for someone like me... So I guess it's good."

He explained, feeling like he had already accomplished something just from knowing that there is a field he could actually be useful and needed in. Especially if it's a field he's genuinely interested in.

"Well, you should keep us updated. It'll be a shame to start a new job without a place to come back to."

His father replied with a sneaky smile, knowing that Chanyeol knows what he's talking about. Of course he does. Chanyeol is pretty eager to move into the new house already.

Along with the emotional growth process he's been through ever since he met Kyungsoo, moving into a place of a his own would help him become even more mature and independent. Help him advance as an actual adult.

 

  
After the wonderful dinner where Chanyeol's parents refused to allow the two of them to help out with the cleaning, they've moved over to Chanyeol's room. But the corridor was a little narrow by the end.

The door frame is a little too small for the wheelchair to be pushed through, so instead of struggling, Chanyeol put the chair aside and picked Kyungsoo in his arms, placing him down onto the bed to sit comfortable against the wall.

"Whoa, are these pictures of yourself?"

He asked wide eyed while looking around above the desk where there are plenty of old pictures of Chanyeol from various ages. Chanyeol just nodded with a smile and took a few of them off the wall, bringing them to Kyungsoo for a closer look.

"Yup. In full glory."

The boy laughed and examined the pictures fondly, trailing his fingers on the edges of the frame with delicacy and caution so there wouldn't be a chance it'd get destroyed in his hands.

"You grew up into your ears, huh? That's so cute."

He chuckled again before smiling up at Chanyeol and reaching out to gently stroke his ear. It sent gentle tingles down Chanyeol's spine, but he smiled, hoping that his heart isn't beating fast enough to redden his cheeks yet.

Kyungsoo's so fragile even sitting on Chanyeol own old bed like this. Relaxed, calm. He'd really be completely fine with keeping this going forever. How the tables have turned, from Chanyeol wanting to avoid him at all costs to Chanyeol wanting to hold him as close as humanly possible.

He'll have to keep his desires under restraints. Chanyeol's not going to fall back into the selfish self centered behaviour of the past again.

Bringing him out of his thoughts, Kyungsoo handed him the pictures again to hang back on the wall. And Chanyeol got back up in order to place them correctly above the desk, staring at one of his own older pictures.

 

  
"Chanyeol."

"Hmm?"

He hummed back, still focused on a picture of his father and him sitting on the beach when he was probably around four years old.

"I like you."

Kyungsoo said, and it took Chanyeol a few seconds to register what had just been said.

"Uh.. What?"

He slowly turned his head, locking his eyes with Kyungsoo who has been looking directly back at him with flushed cheeks yet a serious expression. Did he hear correctly? There's no way.

"I like you, Chanyeol. I mean... I LIKE like you."

Kyungsoo gave a slightly more thorough explanation. Well, not really, but it was enough for Chanyeol to understand that he had actually heard correctly on the first time too. Is this... Really happening?

His bodily reaction was an immediate increase in the heartrate, he feels the thumps hitting against his eardrums from the inside from just how strong and fast his pulse became. This is everything Chanyeol had ever wanted to hear for the past month, and he feels like his knees are going to fall weak soon.

And yet his mind cannot really allow him to celebrate this confession right away. There has to be something, it can't just be this easy. Chanyeol is used to having all of his wishes granted, and now when the option is right there in front of him to make the most important one come true, he feels hesitant.

Kyungsoo is so gentle and precious, Kyungsoo's heart is kind and pure, and Chanyeol... He's come from the lowest low, still struggling with his own growth and the nagging feeling of self benefit thinking process that his brain goes through instead of the natural caring progress.

Kyungsoo is strong, and he is weak and scared from what he has been himself.

Their friendship has been growing steadily and becoming very healthy and true, and yet, after knowing what Chanyeol has done to Kyungsoo in the past, he can't help but be afraid that Kyungsoo's feelings have been deceived.

Just because Chanyeol is the ONLY option for him. Just because Chanyeol is the only one who actually took it upon himself to stick with Kyungsoo and become as close to him as can be. Just because Kyungsoo doesn't have anybody else who'd keep in contact with him.

He is happy. Truly, to hear Kyungsoo say such words to him. It's been a hidden subtle fantasy of his for a while, and yet... Now that the moment is here, all he feels is guilt washing over him from the inside.

Maybe he's being stupid, and he should one last time stick to his own selfish mind and accept it, take it all and be happy with yet another wish coming true. He hasn't become selfless enough to pass such an opportunity... Or has he?

"Kyungsoo--... I..."

His voice wavers in his throat, and even though Kyungsoo's expression had shifted ever so lightly with a hint of hurt, Chanyeol simply doesn't want to take advantage of Kyungsoo like this... He has been just doing everything for himself. But not this time.

Kyungsoo's been through enough, he doesn't deserve to be fooled into something like this.

"I can't... Kyungsoo. I'm sorry."

Chanyeol turned his head back to the pictures but he doesn't look at any of them, his eyes are shaking from the conflict going on inside him, between his feelings and what he thinks are Kyungsoo's feelings.

"It's just a trick of the heart. You don't mean it. Just because I was the only one there with you it doesn't mean I deserve your love, Kyungsoo."

Silence. Chanyeol's heart is aching with every beat.

"I am sorry. You should be seeing more people, know the world... Find someone good for you."

His voice is airy, as if his throat is trying to block it from leaving his mouth because he's just too afraid he's going to lose this precious friend and see him roll out of his life.

 

  
"Chanyeol. Ever since high school, everyone thought they knew what is good for me."

Kyungsoo begins talking, his voice firm yet soft, and Chanyeol steps closer to the bed to sit next to his friend without making eye contact.

"What is good for me to eat, to wear, to see... Everyone always pitied me, thinking I'm weak and stupid and that I can't do anything on my own. They always wanted to 'help' me because I was something less than them. Worse than them."

Voice still stable, and yet Chanyeol can sense an underlying layer of pent up anger releasing as Kyungsoo says these words.

"But not you. You came and you wanted... Juice. Freaking juice. And I was so damn happy that I could show off my skill and make this tall hot dude my strawberry juice in such a hot day."

Kyungsoo chuckled emotionally, and Chanyeol couldn't help but allow his lips to curve into a smile, not only from the meaning of the words, but also from the subtle confirmation that Kyungsoo indeed found him hot back then.

"It was the best. And then you came and you just, agreed to eat with me. And I could cook for someone who isn't myself and it was so much fun... And you even liked it."

He goes on, and Chanyeol's heart is slowly softening in his chest.

"Chanyeol, I'm sorry, I only now realized that I like you... Even though you've made me so happy for so long. I thought I'd be an asshole and bring you down by allowing myself to feel... Anything for you."

Chanyeol's head now slowly turns to Kyungsoo in surprise. What the hell? Kyungsoo thought he would be an asshole? That doesn't make any sense. Kyungsoo is the the exact opposite definition of anything even remotely negative.

Was he so selfless that he thought just because of his inevitable condition he wasn't allowed to love...? What kind of messed up shit is that?

Kyungsoo's about to open his mouth to speak again, but Chanyeol's body is burning with confusion and stressed mixture of anger and love and confusion and fear and he breaks through.

"Kyungsoo, what the fuck. I was the asshole, not you. Don't pretend that I didn't look at your chair in disgust. Or that time I ate your ice cream, and asked you to go and buy shit because I wanted it myself... All I did was hurt you, and use you. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that cursed phonecall I made..."

The boy turns to look back at him, still flushed, still just as determined though.

"Yeah, you were. But you're not anymore. I was upset-- Really upset. I almost wanted to tell you to leave sometimes... But you've changed. Everybody deserves a second chance. Who like me knows that. You're not THAT person Chanyeol."

Chanyeol feels these words are almost like that last piece of puzzle being put into place. The satisfaction when one completes something that has taken them time and effort to create, and now finally they've been given the very last bit to affirm their work wasn't for nothing.

Kyungsoo said he isn't an asshole anymore.

Kyungsoo said he likes him. LIKE likes him.

Their eyes are locked deep in a gaze, and maybe Chanyeol can be a little selfish one last time. Just this time, it'll be enough. He wouldn't need anything else.

"I uh... You probably thought that I was alone but.. Actually..."

Kyungsoo began again, averting his eyes sideways and breaking their intense silent exchange of unspoken feelings. He rubbed his cheeks with his fingers lightly, smiling a bit awkwardly.

"Ever since we met, I was asked out three times. To date, I mean... But I turned them down."

This is a total shocker.

What? Kyungsoo has been asked out by three different people? All while Chanyeol was already in some sort of connection with him? What the fuck. How?

It's true that after their second meeting where Chanyeol actually looked at him properly he already put the boy in the 'Smash' category. He's good looking. He's sweet and and soft and attractive. He just never guessed enough people would have fallen for the same thing.

Speechless, Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo, who just laughed lightly at the face he was probably making, and raised his hand to count on his fingers while he went on.

"The first one was another friend of Baekhyun. He was really nice, but barely knew any korean. In the end he said he will be going back to china and I haven't seen him again."

Wow. Alright, not only is he attractive to pull Chanyeol in, but other guys too? Guys who aren't even korean? What kind of force is hidden in this small boy.

"The second one was a girl. I think she wasn't a student, she looked a little older. She kept bringing me all these weird alcohol filled chocolate things.. You know. My parents loved those haha."

What on earth... Chanyeol is having a very hard time comprehanding this.

"The third was a guy who said he was your friend too. I was a little surprised. He looked really strong and a little scary but he kept showing me pictures of animals on his phone. He made me a little uncomfortable... I think his name was Chris, or something."

"Chris?! Chris Lee?! He asked you out?!"

Chanyeol burst in shock, asking a little too loud and making Kyungsoo jump in surprise as well before silently apologizing and rubbing his head.

Well, that actually makes a lot of sense now. Why else would Chris have such a weird reaction to Chanyeol interacting with anybody. It was because he was a jealous freak... Ugh. Such a stupid guy. Chanyeol's very glad Chris is out of their lives.

If he made Kyungsoo feel uncomfortable that's even more reason for Chanyeol to not feel even a drop of remorse about the actions he's taken against him.

 

  
"Anyway Chanyeol. I just... I like you. It's okay if you don't like me back. I remember how you felt months ago. I'll be okay. I just wanted you to know."

Chanyeol isn't nervous anymore. There's no stress clogging his throat and ears and heart. Instead he gently rests his palm on the upper half of Kyungsoo's thigh, making the two of them look at each other again with an easy smile.

"I like that you like me."

"O-Ohh... That's uh-- Good..?"

Kyungsoo looks at him a little puzzled, and Chanyeol just laughs warmly before leaning closer and stroking over his thigh with reassurance, both for Kyungsoo and for himself. That this is really their truth.

"Because I like you too. I like you a lot. In fact, I think I love you."

Chanyeol's words rolled out with ease and relaxation. There was no need to filter himself out or worry anymore. Now that he knows that the barriers that were between them are finally fully gone and his feelings wouldn't become a burden or a bother.

"Y--.. You do..?"

Kyungsoo's voice shook a little and Chanyeol laughed at how adorable his shy expression looks from this up close.

"Kyungsoo, can you feel it when I touch here?"

He asked gently, voice warm and welcoming, while squeezing lightly a little higher on Kyungsoo's thigh where his hand rests now after they spoke.

He could see and even feel Kyungsoo's body jolting lightly from the touch.

"Yes, but not further down."

Kyungsoo answered, still slightly confused, while Chanyeol started stroking his hand lower and lower over his leg, Kyungsoo watched the hand trail on top of it. He shook his head now, signing the he feels nothing, before turning to look at Chanyeol again.

"What are you doing..?"

His friend's voice was soft. Chanyeol's hand then stroked back up on Kyungsoo's thigh and cupped above it, his thumb pressing against the inner side of it, he watched Kyungsoo jerk again while his cheeks flushed deeply. Deeper than before.

"Kyungsoo, can I kiss you?"

The boy stared at him stunned, lips quivering without a sound for a little while before turning into a wide smile with his lips shut tight. Instead, his eyes turned into beautiful shiny crescents as he nodded.

Without hesitation Chanyeol leaned in, pressing himself on Kyungsoo's soft pink heart shaped lips that he had dreamed of tasting for who knows how long. He was in heaven. The sweet sensation was far better than he had imagined.

He could feel Kyungsoo's fingers threading through his hair and also resting over his neck. The boy's thumb was rubbing over his jaw line in slow motions.

It was a slow kiss, but it was filled with warmth and affection. It was a confession they didn't need to use any words for.

Once they parted Kyungsoo's head was buried into the nook of his neck and shoulder right away, and Chanyeol didn't even try to prevent himself from laughing in happiness while wrapping Kyungsoo's entire body between his arms.

"We'll have a bright future together. I know we will."

Chanyeol whispered gently to the side of Kyungsoo's ear and nuzzled his mouth and nose into the boy's neck, closing his eyes and breathing him into his lungs. Kyungsoo is his air. Kyungsoo is his healing magic.

 

  
"Kyungsoo, will you be my boyfriend?"

Chanyeol finally asked a few days later. The two of them back in Chanyeol's family house after being invited for another dinner, just cuddled together on his old bed in comfortable silence.

"Shouldn't you take me out on a date first?"

He was definitely not expecting to hear this answer from the mouth buried into the fabrics of his clothes. Bursting into laughter, he just squeezed Kyungsoo tighter against his body, causing the other to chuckle as well.

"Okay, alright."

He finally spoke after calming down.

"How about a haircut? Been a while."

 

  
Thirty seven steps up, and then thirty seven steps down.

Chanyeol doesn't even count anymore. Not the stairs, but the amount of times he climbed them. It's been years.

And he would do it all over again from the very start if he had to.

In his dreams he is still a bird flying high above the earth, free to roam around wherever he pleases. But now there is another bird flying in the sky with him, experiencing the freedom the world has to offer.

It is so much more fun to fly together.

To fly together, to live together, to sleep together, to laugh and cry together.

Chanyeol's heart has grown twice its size ever since he convinced Kyungsoo's parents, very easily, that he will be taking good care of their son. Kyungsoo moved in with him into the new house, very quickly learning how to use some important programs on a machine he never got to use before, a computer.

And while Chanyeol's job has been going as well as it should, Kyungsoo began working from home. Helping children who much like him, are stuck at home, study. It always warms Chanyeol's heart to get back home and find Kyungsoo smiling and talking in front of his webcam with a child that seems to adore him.

They go out together three times a week, once to the park where Chanyeol goes for a run and Kyungsoo stays in their usual spot to read. Once to a cafe or restaurant of their choice, and once for a long walk anywhere Kyungsoo tells Chanyeol to stop the car when they drive around.

Kyungsoo is no longer ashamed, not scared or worried to enjoy himself wherever he goes. Even on his own, and Chanyeol couldn't have been more proud, more in love.

Together they completed each other in ways neither of them knew they could. Kyungsoo is the one to set them on the right path, and Chanyeol is the one to walk them on that path. Their hearts beating together as one in this journey.

Sometimes, it only takes a smile to change the world.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, it's me again, Jul!
> 
> I want to thank you guys so much for the love and support this story received over it's release. It means so much to me, beyond the personal level, to know that people were this enthusiastic and dedicated to a story that speaks about such a delicate subject.  
> Paraplegic people really have to go through such realities more often than not. This story hit pretty close to home because I am personally in contact with a handicapped old lady who is the nicest person in the world. Sadly, just like Kyungsoo in the story, she lives in an apartment high above the ground with stairs separating her from the world.  
> This reality is something that exists, and I wish us as people would make the world an easier place for everyone to live in.  
> Take care of yourselves and everyone around you! ♡
> 
> Thank you again for the amazing response, I love you! ♡  
> Come and talk to me [here!](https://twitter.com/ksoominie)


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